Scared of embarking on the pregnancy journey again

[BlueSpottyTiger]

I have a DD who is nearly 1 year old.
I would really like to have another little one but i am Petrified of starting it all again.
I had a text book pregnancy (but terrible sickness, Sick everyday for 6/7months) but no complications until my edd where i started to develop P.E.. and was induced at 11+2. Labour was completely fine, Not as bad as i thought it would have been. And apart from an very high bp especially near pushing everything with the birth was fine. I did need stitches but it was only a 2nd degree tear and i healed after birth really well. My baby was/is healthy and im really happy but i have a really deep feeling of fear about embarking on the pregnancy jounery again. All the possible what if's, did anyone else feel like this????
Bit of a pointless post really but would love to know your experiences/ feelings x

[BlueSpottyTiger]

Oops! 41+2

[HPeveryday]

Blue I am right there with you. I just want to acknowledge your post and let you know that you aren't alone in feeling this way. I am petrified about the same.
I have a little boy who will be 1 year old next month. You aren't alone!

[delilahbucket]

If you are feeling like that then I would suggest that now is not the right time for you. Enjoy your dd and see how you feel in the future.

[MmmMalbec]

Absolutely. I developed PE at 35 weeks and was induced at 36. I hated pregnancy though and felt crap all the way through. DS has just turned 2 and I'm 7+4 with our second. It's been a real rollercoaster even so far and I keep having waves of thinking what the hell have I done. But we always wanted two children and that's what I'm focusing on. I think it would be a bit crazy not to have some kind of fears about doing it again. Good luck TTC!

[Megatherium]

I think you need to talk to a doctor about how likely PE is to recur. I had mile PE with two pregnancies, but no problems with the third - not sure if that had anything to do with the fact that no. 3 was a girl and the others were boys! Friend of mine had really serious problem with her first child, to the extent that she was hospitalised for some time before his birth and had a full eclamptic seizure very shortly afterwards; she was fully expecting major problems in her next pregnancy, but had none at all in fact.

This is all anecdote, so I think you need proper medical advice so you can weigh up the risks. But it could be worth leaving it a bit longer anyway, just because it is no fun at all dealing with a very active 1 or 2 year old when you feel really nauseous.

[SharkBastard]

I had my DD 9 years ago...I'm 25 weeks with my DS. I was terrified to try again, I married my DH when DD was 4, it's taken me 4 years to consider having another.

I was so unwell for 18 weeks, I struggled so hard. Cried and moaned but I'm getting there. I will be fine once the baby is here but I will never have another.

It's a hard decision, so good luck!

[CarrotCakeMuffins]

If you think it might help, the hospital where you had your baby might offer a 'de-briefing' service where they will discuss the birth with you, go through what happened and why & also whether the same things are likely to happen again. I found it really helped me when expecting DC2 even after 8 years since DC1's birth.

However, it does sound like it may be too soon for you to make a decision to go through another pregnancy again, so enjoy your baby now, and think about a second again in the future when you might feel more ready.

[FozBoz]

Blue, what an experience

I had an easy pregnancy and to healthcare professionals what would be classed as a straightforward delivery. It did not however stop me feeling quite emotionally bruised regarding pg and birth for some years later.

You say your DD is 1. Is another pg time critical for you? I wonder whethef giving yourself a few more months to process your first birth might be helpful?

[BlueSpottyTiger]

Thanks girls some good points there.. especially about de-briefing ect. I shall ask my HV and see if she knows if our hosp offers it... as i would be worried about that occurring again!
Yeah i do really want to enjoy my DD. I shall wait a while!
Congratulations on those who are expecting again! And goodluck xx

[BlueSpottyTiger]

No not time critical luckly, I'm 24.
your right FozBoz i do need a bit more time i think. Its only the last few month's where I've been like yes i want another because up until then i was like 'one and done' didn't even entertain the idea. Now i think about another baby about 10times aday x

[MmmMalbec]

I'd definitely think about a debrief. I had one about a year ago and they told me what monitoring etc I would have in any future pregnancies. I wouldn't have considered trying again without knowing that!