Feel like giving up

[CandyCrush77]

Been TTC for 7 months. Just got AF and pretty gutted. Really tried not to get hopeful this month so as to avoid the crushing disappointment when AF arrives but didn't work. Feel as bad as ever. DH is 46 and I am 40 in 2 months. I really feel that it's never going to happen as we left it too late. We've both had fertility checks and everything seems fine; DH has an amazing, off the scale sperm count, but that makes it even worse as there doesn't seem to be a reason why it's not happening, other than my age. Anyone else in the same boat?

[Robbins81]

Hi Candy, I'm not in the same boat at you but know how crushing it can be to get af.

Don't give up, I hope that you will look back one day soon and be glad you didn't give up, because everything worked out. Good luck xxx

[Zenzie]

It definitely gutting. I've been at it a while and about to begin IVF. Have you considered this or something else? We also have no explanation for infertility and it's very stressful.

[Robbins81]

Not something that we have considered just yet, we are on our first cycle after a miscarraige at 10 weeks, which took 7 cycles.

I can imagine it being really frustrating when there's no explanation though, I think if there's a problem there's a solution and something to work towards.

Hopefully someone will be along soon that might be able to help a bit more. I think there is a thread for ladies 40+ ttc, maybe pop in and see if they can help?

[CandyCrush77]

Thanks all. Zenie, we are definitely considering it. Saw a fertility dr 2 months ago though and she said to keep trying naturally until September before looking at other options. Trying to stick to that but not sure we can hold out. Anyone know how long, on average, it should take to conceive at 39/40?

[karryk]

Hi Candy sorry to hear you're feeling like this

I can definitely empathise. I'll be 39 next month. I met my husband a couple of years ago (he'll be 40 later this year) and we've been trying for about a year now. So far I've had a chemical pregnancy and a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks (late last year) but no joy.

I've just had a blood test to check my fertility levels and will possibly start on Clomid if the next cycle brings no result. I'm doing this privately though - my gp is rubbish, sadly so I decided to take matters into my own hands

X

[karryk]

Forgot to add that when I was in hospital for some gynaecological surgery, I saw a consultant who said that at my age (I was 37 then!) I should only wait around 6 months before seeking further advice. I think the actual time it takes to conceive is about a year so not meaning to scare you x

[Allium40]

Hi Candy,

Just a quick post to say I think on average it takes a year to conceive.

Have you read the free ebook Sperm Meets Egg Plan?

I am 40 and was trying for approx 9 months and getting it totally wrong!

Good luck x

[CandyCrush77]

Hi Karryk. Sorry to hear you are also in the same boat. What did your dr do or not do rather? My GP said we had to be trying for at least a year and even then we won't be eligible as we already have 2 kids each (from previous marriages). Fair enough I guess. We are seeing another private consultant next week to discuss options. Do you know when they will prescribe Clomid? I read something the other day which said that they won't prescribe Clomid for unexplained fertility.

[karryk]

Sorry - I thought it was Clomid but it's actually Letrozole...but I think they both do a similar thing

When I went private I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid but my gp says she won't prescribe anything for it until it gets much worse, even though she accepts that it needs to be controlled for conception purposes. It was a bizarre conversation! She moves at snails pace tbh so I decided to just go ahead on my own

I'm not too sure what the criteria are for prescribing it...as far as I know, I ovulate and my issue is more to do with my immune system (although we'll see what the fertility test says - maybe age is a factor too!). If I go ahead with the letrozole it'll be on the 4th cycle of trying (since the miscarriage).