When is it the right time to come off the pill?

[JessicaN25]

I am not a mum so I probably shouldn't even be on here but I feel like I need some advice from people who have been there and done it. Me and my partner have had endless conversations about me coming off the pill but is it the right time?

My relationship is rock solid I have no doubts there at all, I have a job in marketing which I love and I could fit it around a baby and we don't own a house yet we are in the process of saving for a mortgage but we rent a spacious 2 bed apartment which would be big enough for a child.

I am only 19 and my boyfriend is 25 so I don't know if we are too young to start trying for a baby but we both really want to start a family and it just feels right. We both keep trying to put ourselves off the idea by thinking of the reality of sleepless nights and dirty nappies but nothing seems to put us off! Is it the right time to come off the pill or are we just being young and foolish?

[MrsMogz]

I had my first at 19. Like you in a stable relationship (we're now happily married), stable jobs and renting. I would not change my life for the world. I "lived" a little beforehand.

Nothing compares to being a family. I am at my absolute happiest when we are just kicking back on a Saturday morning. There is so much joy and contentment.

The ONLY thing I'd have changed, shallow sounding or not, is the fact we could have easily saved for a decent deposit on a house for before the baby was born. We didn't. So are now trapped in the renting fiasco with no light at the end of the tunnel in sight. Money is better now I am working again but it's still tight.

So in answer to your question, if you really feel it's what you want, go for it. But I would think about purchasing your own home before you take the big decision of coming off your pill. If your in a position to still save a bit while paying rent etc then great.

If it's what you really want then dirty nappies and sleepless nights and tantrums and car seats and constant lurgy will fade to insignificance at the joy you get in return.

[JessicaN25]

Thank you for your reply, it was very reassuring! Not having a mortgage is the biggest thing holding us back because I worry that saving for a deposit could go out the window when we have a baby. I don't think we could afford to buy a house for about 5 years anyway and I don't want to wait that long to start trying for a baby!

[MrsMogz]

Then maybe set yourself a target of saving a certain amount by a certain time. If you did decide to then go for it at least you'd have something to work with. That being said, I have one or two friends who have been renting all their family life, 15+ years, and are more than happy to do so. It is just my opinion on what sounds like a very familiar situation. Maybe have a proper chat with your OH and decide what's most important to you both

[Grace893]

Hi Jessica I cant offer any advice on the 'ready' side but it sounds like you are in a good situation. In regards to the pill I would come off hormonal contraception as soon as possible as it can take some people a really long time for the cycels to sort themselves out, though some people are fine.

You can always use natural family planning for a little while if you are still getting really to property start TTC. Thats what we did for 18 months and it worked well.

Good luck with everything.

[JessicaN25]

I think as long as we are still saving a certain amount every month it wouldn't bother me having a baby whilst renting because I know that it will be such a long time before we could buy a house anyway unfortunately.

In regards to coming off the pill, I think I will stop after this month as I have heard it usually takes about a year to conceive which will be perfect timing!