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Don't you just hate it when...

(10 Posts)
Kaytee1987 Sat 07-Nov-15 16:54:58

Don't you hate it when people say 'the minute you stop trying, you will get pregnant' how the hell would that be possible, and what do they even mean by stop trying? Stop having sex? Sorry had to rant, was out with a friend last night who had 3 children at the drop of a hat and another accidental pregnancy and got this lecture from her. Not bitter at all... honestly.

mrsstickll Sat 07-Nov-15 19:15:54

Yes I hate it, also hate "when it's meant to be it will happen", so annoying.

MummyBex1985 Sat 07-Nov-15 21:24:20

Meh I can see that there's some truth to removing the obsessive cycle charting and stress given that research shows that removing the worry sometimes aids conception.... Plus when you consider how many people manage it by accident....

...but I agree, the well meant phrases sometimes make you feel like punching people in the head lol

Junosmum Sat 07-Nov-15 22:22:45

I have to say, we'd decided to book a trip to south America and put off trying for 6months until after the trip. We only had sex once that month, days before ovulation. Needless to say, I'm not currently in Peru as planned. I don't know if there's any truth in it but it was certainly the case for us. I'd never say it like that to anyone though.

MummyBex1985 Sat 07-Nov-15 22:48:41

Juno I think you got lucky lol! We've had two months where PG would have been very bad timing and I'm still waiting for my BFP.

Maybe I should take a six month sabbatical and see what happens, haha!

Oysterbabe Sun 08-Nov-15 07:05:46

Well it was the month I skipped the opks and spent two weeks shagging and drinking rum in Barbados on honeymoon that worked for us.
Maybe take a conception moon grin

CuppaSarah Sun 08-Nov-15 07:34:30

Just to put it out there, it was the month I did everything properly I conceived. Opks, temping, checking cm, eod sex, bum the air after. The whole trying but not trying rubbish, I think just adds more pressure to most people. Whatever makes you feel happy and in control is obviously the best.

SweepTheHalls Sun 08-Nov-15 07:47:58

After 2 years of no hope I booked a very expensive holiday I couldn't enjoy if pregnant, and was really pissed off that even that didn't do the trick!

However, by some miracle I did get pregnant on that holiday, and am 33 weeks now. grin. I hate it when people are right!

Loki17 Sun 08-Nov-15 08:23:24

I agree with the op - it isn't helpful. Almost as bad as the silly cow who told my best friend, directly after a mmc, 'well at least you know you can get pregnant so you can stop worrying about that now'. Ok, so there was an element of truth to it, but you shouldn't tell the person who is in complete turmoil things like that. I almost swung for her.
I have to say though, I'm pretty sure opks are the devil. According to opks, I didn't ovulate until Cd18. I have always been a '28 day cycle, day 14 ovulation woman'. But for dome reason, decided i needed to use opks. I never got a dark line on them and they stressed me out do much Consequently, dtd when the opks said did not work. Binning them was the best decision I made. Both the month I conceived dd and now this little one, we dtd every other day and then every day whilst I was getting ewcm. No pressure because I just told dh I didn't know when my fertile period was and just jumped on him instead. After the last day of ewcm we pared it back a little (because we were knackered grin) so I only had the tww to stress about. I was okay until 8 dpo when I got a little stressed with the early testing. However, that was a big improvement on the previous month when I was stressing constantly about poas and opks. I really do recommend the 'Sperm Meets Egg Plan' without the opk bits. Track cervical mucous instead. I only have one working ovary and it has worked for me twice now.

rosieposey Sun 08-Nov-15 08:44:59

I agree with the OP it isn't helpful BUT I gave up after hitting 40, trying for 27 months and just nothing absolutely nothing.

I used to use the cb fertility monitor which i then backed up with cb digi opk's and temping. I gave up more or less Then on month 27 I dug out my cb monitor and the last of my opk's after not suing them for 6 months.

The monitor showed only highs that month but no egg but I was convinced it was wrong so did the back up opk and got the smiley face and managed sex once a day later ( DH was away on business most of that month ).

In your late 30's and by then my 1st year of being 40 twenty seven months is a long time and the only reason I didn't get help is because we already had DC just thought i was a bit old for investigations

Anyway on a month when sex was only once and the cb monitor said I didn't ovulate and I was older than I ever had been I got my much longed for bfp - he is three at the end of this month but I still think of him as a bit of a miracle and he taught me that sometimes it's not when you 'just relax' it's when you least expect it so never give up.

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