I finally persuaded my partner to have a second child and got pregnant first time last August. Sadly it was ectopic and had methotrexate jab, which worked, although it was pretty nasty. I had horrid side effects and bleeding. Can start TTC now but too scared. Already have 5 yr old son, so lucky to already have a child but really depressed and worried about fertility. Annoyed at partner for having to wait so long for another baby. He is happy just to have one child, but I can't bear the thought of it. Just want some reassurance really. If I can't get pregnant again may look at IVF or adoption. I don't want to become one of those women whose life is dominated by having another child. Rant over, sorry.
I'm 40 in 5 weeks, and have a newborn dd. I also had an ectopic in October 2012, treated via Methetrexate, and my DS will be 6 in the autumn. I couldn't try for a baby for 6 months after the shot (they said 3, I opted for 6 as it's a nasty drug and I wanted folate supplementation after that 3 month period) and conceived the first month of trying. This after years of trying previously. My own DH went along with conceiving another, but wasn't really bothered either. In fact there are several uncanny similarities (you don't live in the Cotswolds, do you?!).
I decided not to ever go the IVF route, for the same reasons you cite of not ever wanting to get obsessed by what I didn't have, when I have so much I want. But there IS hope and your fertility history (and age, perhaps?) sound a lot more promising than mine did. And I was scared witless of another ectopic but they gave me a 5 week scan, and all was well - so the reassurance was prompt.