Desperate for no.3 but DH says no, would you anyway?

[fredsahm]

Just thought i'd ask!

[HappyMumof2]

no

[ComeOVeneer]

No def. not a good idea.

[Jenswish]

no.

Have you told him exactly how desperate you are?
What reasons has he said no?

[madmarchhare]

Good god no.

[fredsahm]

We had a bit of a scare a few months ago and needed to test which was -ve. He was actually disappointed with result and had prepared himself for a 3rd. Since then I've been sooo broody. I always wanted 4 but as we have 1 of each he thinks well why have anymore. He knows how I feel, he's not dead against it but doesn't really want anymore. We did have probs in our relat during pg and birth of 2nd child which were unresolved from 1st child birth, and he thinks the relat may not survive. I can understand his point, just don't like the thought that someone else has decided that I won't have any more children, know what I mean?
Thanks for the replies.

[Jenswish]

I have this problem at the moment (kinda) I want kids NOW and it annoys me that DP is saying well as long as He get kids by the time he's 35 (4yrs away) he doesnt mind and it annoys me so much that he's trying to tell me when I can have kids.

I think your DH wouldnt mind another child from the sounds of things, but make him agree first, dont just do it, it will damage your relationship forever.

[pussycatmomma]

errrm, sorry to sound thick here, but doesnt it take 2 to tango as it were?? bit difficult to get prg if he is dead against it?

[madmarchhare]

PCM, I imagine that fredsahm has the upper hand from a contraception point of view here.

[Frenchgirl]

no no no

[expatinscotland]

Absolutely not.

How would you feel if you didn't want another, and he lied and tricked you into getting pregnant?

[HappyMumof2]

sorry but imo that is just so wrong. You say you feel he shouldn't be able to tell you you can't have more kids but why you should decide for him how many kids he has??

[LadyTophamHatt]

never not in a million years.


It's bad enough thinking that people think you've done that but to actually do it.....


NO WAY!!

[niceglasses]

Maybe if you work through whats hanging over from the 1st 2 he will come round a bit??It doesn't sound entirely hopeless. i guess if you went ahead with a 3rd and he wasn't sure it could put your relationship under strain.

Hard for you if you really want a 3rd.

[pussycatmomma]

madmarchhare... Even if fredsahm does have the upper hand as it were, then surely there is some TRUST involved with that? Very very very bad idea imo. It would never be right between the two of them again. Maybe i am just too honest, but before me and dh decided to start ttc, before he "was ready" , there wouldnt have been a hope in hell of me getting prg without his awareness of it. Its like, the dates and things, a man would know if he was being duped surely?
Not a good idea.

[wannaBe1974]

agree with everyone, no no no way. It has to be a joint decision, and agree with the poster who said that it's equally unfair to decide how many children your dh should have because that's what you want.

[blueteddy]

No, no, no! Having a child is a huge thing & can put a strain on the best of relationships - it should be talked through & you should both agree that it is what you want.
Both my DS's were unplanned pregnancies (genuine ones) & the strain those pregnancies put on our lives & relationships was enormous.
Make sure that another child is something you both want!

[3catstoo]

Just keep working on him. It sounds like he's not dead against the idea.
I really really really want a 4th but my DH is absolutely against it. Nothing I say can win him around. We had a similar situation (well I knew I couldn't be pg but you know when you have your head in the clouds a bit and get carried away with the thought of it) I did a test, - ve, DH was the happiest man alive !! Me on the other hand, I was a sad little bunny.

I think you should resolve any issues before even agreeing to concieve though.

Good Luck