TTC - How much does your DP know?!(22 Posts)
I've tried so hard to get him to work stuff out but he still leaves it to me pfttt! I even jokingly sent his outlook calendar 'business time' meeting invites!!!!!!! (Grin)
We absolutely share the journey. Discuss everything including all symptoms, tests and results. It's his TTC time too and he likes to be a part of the whole thing.
My DH has just started being interested! I think something's clicked and he suddenly 'gets it'.
Melody and Twenty, thanks for the info, I'd got it back to front, then. At the moment we're going for the sex every couple of days and hoping for the best, but if there's no success in a few months I'll get some opks and read up on it in more detail.
Saying all that. Lots of research on conception points to just shagging every two or three days throughout the month rather than trying to pin-point ovulation!
TheCat as I understand it, it's more the other way round. AF comes 14 days AFTER ov. The time from AF to ov can vary from month to month, ...when ov occurs can be affected by things like health and stress.
The length of time between ov and AF is called the luteal phase and this is fixed in every woman. The average is 14 days but some are 12, some are 16. But it remains the same length of time in each individual.
Unless your cycles are bang on exactly 28 days it's better to look for signs of OV (cervical mucus, cervical position etc...you can find out lots of info about these if you read around) or use OPKs and then expect AF 14 days after the day of ov. It's easy to miss DTD at the 'right' time if your cycle is longer because ov will be later than day 14.
I might not have explained all that very well. Try Googling luteal phase and menstrual cycle to read up on it all some more...and probably with more accuracy than I've given!
My OH knows all the ins and outs and is interested. Yesterday he was trying to read the opk as he knew we were getting close to a positive and it also prepares him. In the begining I kept the details to myself but we lead quite busy lives and dtd'ing wasn't always possible so I decided to tell all and that turned out to be very helpful.
An average ovulation is in the middle of the cycle TheCat, but you might not be average, it's worth getting some opks or temp charting.
We've only just started so are just shagging at the moment. I don't know much about it but I've been on here for ages so have absorbed some info. DH knows there's a right time, but didn't know when it was (I think it's about 2 weeks after AF starts, is that right?)
We're hoping it'll just work, but if it doesn't we'll get better informed. DH is technically-minded, so will find out everything he needs to know and be a goldmine of detailed information.
My DH knows that there is a right time and understands that I just want him for his sperm in that time! I don't think he ever sees it as too much pressure, he'd definitely say if he did. He then loses track of time and he only finds out if AF has come because I'm moaning and sad. I've had four PGs (first one ended in mc). For the first two he was quite involved in the testing. I peed then went and hid in the bedroom whilst he waited for the time and checked the test. With the last two though I just kept quiet about AF being late, waited til I was really sure I was late then POAS-ed whilst he was out then showed him the BFP later. I prefer that way, I like the few days of wondering if I might be PG all on my own.
My DH, doesn't know what's going hit him this month! Lol! Decided this is our first proper TTC (been waiting for period to even out after coming off the pill in August) so will be charting closely when OVing this month never really paid much attention when OVing before this. BFP feb 11th! Hopefully! :-)
He knows when I've ovulated, but I usually tell him as its happening (get really bad ov pains some months so hard to keep quiet) but not in the days leading up to ov because, like others, I dont want to put unecessary pressure on him. He has started - half-jokingly - asking whenever I initiate dtd 'are you just doing this to get pregnant?' .
He doesn't know about the 2ww, but he does know I do opks and how they work. He doesn't know I chart or about temp-taking, cm, or cervix postioning, etc, but he knows I take folic acid every day. And he knows I have a gazillion preg tests of various brands in the bathroom cabinet .
I think i tend to talk at my dp now. As far as he is concerned he knows all he needs to about ttc so shuts off at what he sees as boring stuff.
I chat about when i ovulate etc but our plan is to dtd every 2/3 days regardless so there really wont be a schedule to keep to.
I am only monitoring ovulation as he has a busy job and can work late some nights so if he gets bogged down and busy I need to know when its vital i drag him upstairs, but he is happy enough for me to just tell him when.
As he sees it, he has agreed that he wants kids,he is happy to take vitamins and he just wants me to tell him when i get a bfp, not everytime i test.
We will see how this works when we start ttc end of March.
I think DP has resigned himself to the fact he is living with a maniac when it comes to this. he knows EVERYTHING, i'm sure at times he wishes he knew a little less, but overall he likes knowing as it makes him feel more involved and he doesn't want me to bottle things up (i was quite depressed after my miscarriages).
We're a way into TTC now, went went with the "just shagging" approach. Was lots of fun .
This is out first month TTC and if it doesn't work I'll reconsider my keeping quiet strategy! But I dont want to put too much performance pressure on him though. He's already stressed with work so should probably keep the bedroom stuff more relaxed!
Yeah I tell him everything but to be fair he usually asks and is quite interested in the whole process. Though when we first started he was completely clueless and honestly thought it was possible to get pg any time of the month. When we DTD less than 24 hours after I took my last pill he asked if I thought I could be pregnant yet. Ummmmm no!
Iv always been very open with DP about everything and shared everything but as euro said he has had a few moments where he feels too under pressure so from now on I'll withhold all the gorey details
I don't like the "pee sticks say I'm ovulating, we have to do it now!" approach. I don't think that is helpful (and can make some men feel only wanted for their sperm/under performance pressure). So I don't tell him exactly when I expect to unless he asks, although when we had monitored Letrozole cycles and the client told us to do it on particular days, it was fine. Generally he knows that once my period is over, shag week commences. I usually tell him when I am fairly sure that I have ovulated so we can both relax a bit.
I didn't go into details, but I gave him to understand that a particular weekend would be mostly spent in bed....
He played his role manfully.
Unless he's worked it out for himself, DH has no idea when I ovulate, or when prime BD time is. I dont think he knows about the 2ww either. We've both agreed that children will be part of our very near future, and have started saving, but that's as far as our TTC conversation has gone! Obviously, I know more about my cycle and try to pin down on prime BD days.
So, am I alone?! Do you share ALL the intimate TCC details with your DP? Or will you present him with a BFP when the time comes?
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