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TTC for 6+months

(999 Posts)
WhyWait Thu 03-Mar-11 16:35:38

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AuntieDoris Thu 03-Mar-11 16:48:31

Yup. 7 months TTC here too.

I am 35 and feeling like time is ticking away. Most of my friends are pregnant or have children and my younger sister had her second child on Sunday.

Getting pissed off with waiting and constantly being disappointed.

LaraMi Thu 03-Mar-11 17:04:17

Can I join the club too? Even my GP told me to relax and that I'll fall pg soon. Everyone around me is pg and the sight of growing bumps makes me feel ill. I have even explored adoption sites so I have an emergency back-up plan!

WhyWait Thu 03-Mar-11 17:11:23

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RunnerHasbeen Thu 03-Mar-11 17:15:50

Can I join too, 7 months in (I'm 31), ridiculous number of pregnant friends! Not a real hint either but plenty of psychosomatic/ overly optimistic ones. Finding it kind of lonely as I feel like I'm stuck somewhere between two distinct groups of friends (those pregnant/parents and those not remotely wanting to be).

I have the complication that I have arthritis and I'm off my drugs to TTC, it has started to come back so I feel like I'm really running out of time. I can't stand when people say "it'll happen when you least expect it," which I doubt, as I managed quite successfully for 14 years not to get pregnant unexpectedly and it would be a disaster if I was on my drugs. In some ways I'm lucky as I've had a number of fertility checks already (no point in coming of meds if no chance) but I think it adds to the pressure and has made the whole thing a bit medical, not romantic.

I'm quite shocked how disappointing it is and I am not enjoying PMT heralding the disappointment, what a way to find out. At Christmas I had to combine PMT, disappointment and a MIL harping on about career women leaving it too late.

Good luck to you all!

LaraMi Thu 03-Mar-11 17:33:54

I started in May lst year, fell pg in Aug, mc-ed in Oct and trying since then. Two phrases I hate: "well at least you know you can get pg" (referring to mc) and "it'll happen when it happens and in the meantime, have fun trying". Gahhhh!

WhyWait Thu 03-Mar-11 17:46:44

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joycep Thu 03-Mar-11 17:47:18

I'm in. I'm 31. Thanks for starting WhyWait. I feel i may be on the 12+months ttc all too quickly though. Started April 2010. Got pregnant fairly quickly but early m/c at 7wks. Now in Cycle 9 since m/c (but i start the clock from April). I'm not sure whether it's better to have got pregnant and m/c'd or not have been pregnant at all. Most comments I get is 'at least you got pregnant' and on the one hand, yes that's good to know there must be things working but it's not much comfort to know that it went wrong and perhaps there is a bigger issue. All in all it sucks!

Well ladies - I raise a glass to us. I feel we will bring each other lots of luck!

Runner - I'm so sorry to hear of your athritis. My old colleague is male and is in the same position but he can't come off the drugs because of the pain. Are you in a lot of pain? What advice to the doctors give??

LankyLegs Thu 03-Mar-11 17:51:55

Hey ladies.... mind if I join? I have been trying for 15 months now but onto Cycle 17! Have had all the fertility checks done and everything ok so no idea why we are not pregnant yet...

I am 31 and DH is 35... which I know isn't old at all but its getting SO frustrating that I have not even had a hint of a BFP. My sister in the same time I have ben TTC has has 1 little girl and then got pregnant 4 months after giving birth ( not planned!) and has given birth to her son, so I know how you feel dorris

runner sounds like you had had a rough ride with your arthritis meds - hope that you get get your BFP soon

LaraMi - very organised looking at adoption threads already!

Whywait I just made the mistake of starting a thread on the pregnancy board this afternoon asking how long it took people to conceive and boy was that a mistake! Even though I explained how long we were trying got comments such as 'My DH just had to look at me each time and we got pregnant' and another one said '2 mins' ! WTF!

WhyWait Thu 03-Mar-11 17:57:28

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WhyWait Thu 03-Mar-11 18:01:13

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joycep Thu 03-Mar-11 18:09:44

lankylegs i thought i would read your post on the pregnancy forum just to wind me up. Arggh! There are some great examples on there of people who are so complacent about pregnancy because thye have never had any troubles. Best stay away from them!
What advice have you been given by the doctor?

Do any of you girls chart??

LankyLegs Thu 03-Mar-11 18:13:49

whywait no worries! Yep - I have totally normal cycles... normally between 27 and 30 days. I chart/temp so know I ovulate each month, have tried accupunture (it was quite relaxing and did it for 4 - 5 months, quit a stressful-ish job, months of just shagging when we felt like it (although we pretty much do anyway - but a bit more considerate during fertile time). Given up tea/coffee/booze and also just had periods where I drink moderately. Aggh! You name it have tried it! It pisses me off when people tell me to relax... it will just happen! They can feck right off (pardon my French!)

I did have an underactive thyroid that was picked up as part of my testing but that has been regulated for 5 months now.

I seriously thought I would get pregnant straight away and I too have serious egg on face too! Almost like it's someones way of saying 'I told you that you should not have been too smug when you started out'!

I don't talk to any friends about it as it just hurts too much and I hate those questions you get.... 'so when are you going to have a baby?' - if only they knew!

Lara and Joy really sorry to hear about your miscarraiges as well. I cant even imagine what that was like.

LankyLegs Thu 03-Mar-11 18:20:17

Joy I totally agree - thought people would be a bit more sensitive but not at all!

It was re-assuring to see the few people that it did take a while for. Gives us hope!

WhyWait Thu 03-Mar-11 18:21:30

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mrsden Thu 03-Mar-11 18:31:05

Can I join your thread? I am in the 8th cycle of ttc my first baby. Everyone I know in real life seems to get pregnant straight away and I have started to get really worried that there must be something wrong. I read the pregnancy thread and it did nothing to reassure me, it appears that most people did get pregnant within a couple of months.

I didn't think it would take this long, or be so stressful. When people get pregnant straight away they have no concept of how hard it is to be ttc. I think it is those people who tell you to relax.

We do everything right. My cycles are fairly regular although they do vary between 29 and 35 days but I have never missed one. We've never smoked, both got perfect BMI, healthy diet and exercise. I don't drink and DH drinks very little since ttc. And I only allow myself to have 1 cup of tea each day! I think we time our SWI ok. I've started charting so should have a better idea.

The worst time is the bit I'm in right now, leading up to AF when you know in your heart that you are not pregnant and that you will going be into another month. It is so hard.

WhyWait Thu 03-Mar-11 18:42:58

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WhyWait Thu 03-Mar-11 18:48:27

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mrsden Thu 03-Mar-11 18:51:00

Being strict hasn't really helped though! I've never been much of a drinker so giving it up hasn't been hard for me. I do have the odd glass of wine if we're out. And I prefer to drink water or herbal teas to normal tea and I hate coffee. But I do love chocolate though so probably get as much caffeine from that!

This is only my second month charting. DH is a bit bemused by it but lets me get on with it. I like it because it does give you a better idea what's going on and I wanted to see if I was ovulating. The ladies on the charting thread are lovely and very helpful. I don't bother with the buses now because I kept getting thrown off by the arrival of AF and that reminded me even more that it hadn't worked again!

WhyWait Thu 03-Mar-11 18:55:11

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mrsden Thu 03-Mar-11 18:57:15

I take it as soon as my alarm goes off at 7am before I get out of bed. I think you have to do it before you get up or your temp will be higher.

mrsden Thu 03-Mar-11 18:58:21

and I do the same on a weekend but then go back to sleep!

Blackkat Thu 03-Mar-11 19:01:39

Hello from other threads ladies, thanks for starting this thread whywait
So sorry to learn that you are all in this difficult place.

Just to add my happy story to the mix <rueful smile>, we've been TTC for 3 and a half years, and have one m/c this January to show for our efforts, though I know I need to remember all those helpful comments about "at least I know I can get pg now" angry. Lara Joycep know how just how hurtful those comment are. sad

AuntieD agree with you totally about watching everyone else around you have kids and just being totally disappointed! I have turned into an evil old cow with all my anger and jealousy, though I do try and keep it well hidden wink

Hello too runner, mrsden and LL

Really glad to have this place to have a good whinge, thanks WW

LankyLegs Thu 03-Mar-11 20:09:44

Hi mrsden sorry - shouldn't have referenced the thread - its not very positive!

Hello to blackkat - agree great to have a whinging place!

WhyWait Thu 03-Mar-11 20:22:02

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