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Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Children's health

I am new to mumsnet and have joined as i don't know where to go for help!!!

16 replies

winegoddess · 02/10/2008 20:33

Hi, my first posting!! Excuse the name, i am not an alcoholic but all suggestions were taken! I do like the odd glass though! Anyhow, i have joined the mumsnet forum because i don't know where to turn with a problem that my daughter has. To cut a long story short, she is 7 years old and has always been an extremely anxious child. It is getting to the point where we are beginning to worry that her fears of 'what if' and her general worries are limiting her in so many ways. The majority of her hobbies have stopped because she has regressed and conjured up associated fears and she can get extremely anxious when seperated from us, especially me her mother. She seems to need so many things 'reaffirmed' and is always questioning things to hear the answer again and again, almost like she's trying to calm her concerns by hearing it again and again. I hate seeing her so anxious, i'd always thought she would grow out of it. She sleeps terribly, only really sleeping properly once we have gone to be. If it was just a case of being shy then that would be fine, we could accept that that was just the way she was but it seems so much more than that. We feel that she is limiting herself and preventing herself from enjoying things because of her confidence and worry issues. Who do i turn to? What sort of help can we give her? Sorry so long!!

OP posts:

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Lio · 02/10/2008 20:39

Welcome, wg - there you are, your first name abbreviation already.

Just popped in to say hello, wish I could offer good advice, but am sure somebody with a similar experience will be along soon. If no joy, do the same thread but called something more specific such as '7yo dd has a lot of anxieties, hampering her ability to enjoy herself. Anyone else have experience of this?'. Best of luck.

lizandlulu · 02/10/2008 20:40

no advice, but i am sure someone will be along soon to help you.

welcome to mumsnet

IAteDavinaForDinner · 02/10/2008 20:41

No advice to offer I'm afraid but welcome and Lio's tip about re-posting under a different title is a good one. Hope you get some help soon - I'm sure you will

winegoddess · 02/10/2008 20:42

Thank you for the advice, will see how this goes but will start a new topic if no luck. Thanks. I like GD!! I feel part of the family already!

OP posts:

winegoddess · 02/10/2008 20:42

I meant WG, don't even know my own abbreviation!

OP posts:

fryalot · 02/10/2008 20:43

hello, winegoddes, and welcome to MN.

get this book either from the library or buy it.

It will make total sense and you will find yoruself going "wow! she does that!" and "omg, that just described her!"

I found it really helpful with my super sensitive dd2.

There are some threads on here if you fancy trawling through them... you could do a search on "highly sensitive" and see what comes up.

Good luck, your daughter will be fine

fryalot · 02/10/2008 20:43

(apologies - I missed an 's' off your name.

Here it is: s )

LesAnimaux · 02/10/2008 20:46

Hi winegoddess - have you considered getting help from a psychologist? Your GP could refer you to the Child And Adolecent Mental Health people who tend to be very good, but usually have extreamly long waiting lists.

How is your daughter at shcool?

The only thing I can sugest personally is that you give her lots of love and reasurance, which you are obviously doing already.

winegoddess · 02/10/2008 20:46

Thanks, i will have a look on the internet and at the library tomorrow.

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LesAnimaux · 02/10/2008 20:49

I can 2nd that book.

It made me realise that I was not the only person in the world to have a "sensitive child".
(I hate that phrase by the way, as it sounds as though we're being precious)

Midge25 · 02/10/2008 20:51

Hi WG. Sitting here eatin my pasta and wondering whether to post or not; I was this child! For me it was a lot about stressors I had in my life at the time, and my own personal reaction to being bullied by class mates and worrying about my mum's health. Am a bit hesitant about posting as don't want to be alarmist - this may not have any relevance for your dd. But might be worth seeing if there is anything going on at school etc etc if you haven't already. Maybe a visit to the GP might be an option too? Whatever the reasons behind it though, our daughter will be fine...

Midge25 · 02/10/2008 20:56

Your dd will be fine, I mean...

cory · 02/10/2008 20:56

If her anxieties are limiting her, I would do as lesanimaux suggests and get a referral. She may benefit from either counselling or some sort of CBT training, teaching her to control her fears. Simple relaxation exercises may also help.

anyoneelse · 02/10/2008 21:00

Hi and welcome
I have a friend whose son has severe anxiety problems - I find it amazing as his mum is so outgoing and friendly etc. He is still a terrible sleeper too - same age (7).

Does your daughter have friends - this boy has one or two particular friends dating back to baby/toddler years and will not do many activities if friends not doing them too. They help with his comfort zone I guess.

Also she has found she needs to prepare her son for new things - even simple things like going to visit her cousin - has to try and ensure he knows what to expect etc before he goes. And brings food etc so as to make things as familiar as possible.

They have recently got him a pet dog to help look after. I think this was recommended to them as being helpful but I'm not sure as my friend does a lot of the work!

They have taken him to specialists but I am not sure who - I think a child psychologist or something. But she said it wasnt that helpful except in getting extra help at school - at school they do recognise he has special needs and dont for example expect him to stand up in front of the school at assembly. On the other hand he does pretty much participate in most things as far as I know - until I got to know her at school I hadnt appreciated the extent of her son's issues. He had always seemed fine to me.

Don't know if any of this is any help. And I hope it hasnt worried you further - it may be that your DD doesnt have the same issues at all.

beanieb · 02/10/2008 21:16

no advice,
but wanted to say 'hi'.

bramblebooks · 02/10/2008 21:36

HI there,

I would suggest that you ask your school to get the school nurse to refer you to camhs who will come and work gently with your daughter to help her with her issues.

Then as the others say, lots of love and reassurance, pleasant activities together, cuddles and so on.

There are techniques that you can read up on in books, hopefully the school nurse can ask CAMHS for some strategies for you to be working on whilst the referral goes through.

... Be kind to yourself too. I know that you will be trying not to let your worries communicate to your child but it can 'leak' sometimes. Take all the above from someone who knows! xxx

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