Please help. Driving myself crazy!

[CathyandHeathcliff]

I need some help/advice/support.

My almost 9 week old (tomorrow) was hospitalised at the weekend with broncholitis. It was very traumatic and he had to be fed through an NG tube (my expressed milk) and had some supplementary oxygen.
He was only in one night and since has been fine in himself (breastfeeding again, very alert, smiley and bright) however he still has the horrible cough and wheeze that usually follows.

I suffer with OCD and prior to this event, I was always watching DS and making sure he was breathing etc. I have health anxiety which doesn’t make things any better.

I’ve recently come across articles relating the RSV virus and broncholitis with SIDS. I’m quite frankly terrified now and wish I’d never read it. It’s due to the breathing being somewhat compromised. He often sounds like he’s choking when coughing and it scares the life out of me. The doctor at the hospital on paediatrics let us go home and said there was absolutely nothing more they could do for us as he was breathing without the need for oxygen (his 02 levels were 95%-97%) and his feeding is back to normal.
I’m not sleeping, I’m going cross eyed because I’m so tired.
I have just ordered the nanny breathing sensor monitor for £89 from Amazon! I’m looking at getting an oximeter too so I can monitor his blood oxygen levels.
In the hospital I became obsessed with the monitor and my partner said if I get one at home, he’ll throw it in the bin.

I don’t know how to manage, I can’t sleep and I’m convinced he’s going to stop breathing and I’ll find him dead, the nanny breathing sensor pad arrived today.
Another thing that made my blood run cold is that SIDs is highest in male infants. So I’m currently in a nightmare with two of the risk factors.

I’ve seen him a couple of times do this weird shuddery breath while he sleeps and it makes me panic.
Please help!

[CathyandHeathcliff]

Also just for additional info he was born by elective c section 3 days early and weighed just over 9lbs. No problems during pregnancy and he’s now over 12lbs ebf.

[Iesugrist]

SIDS is thankfully extremely rare. Although you mention being male as a risk factor it's still a very small modifier (52% of all cases) of something that happens for 3 in ten thousand babies. And that overall risk includes all the children who are smokers, high-rise co-sleeping etc. Meanwhile bronchiolitis is incredibly common and the overwhelming majority of affected babies come to no harm.

Because your anxiety isn't coming from the rational, numbers part of your brain, I don't think knowing those numbers or getting a monitor will help you be any less stressed about this. It's important for your health and your baby's that you can relax, feed, and get to know him without these thoughts dominating your experience.

If you have OCD and health anxieties I would definitely strongly advise you to seek professional help / counselling around this issue. Acknowledging that mental health interventions are not resources nearly well enough.

[Sirzy]

I think you need to talk to your health visitor.

From what you have said I would avoid sensors and monitors, your only going to make yourself worry more. I got one with ds and in hindsight it was more of a hinderence than a help.

Look after yourself

[Trying2310]

My little one was hospitalised for a week with bronchiolitis when she was 6 weeks. Once they get over day four and five they get stronger and are over the worst of it. Take comfort that the medical professionals would not have let you home with such a young baby of they did not think your LO is getting stronger. Don't get all the extra machines. They will just add to your anxieties and you will be constantly checking. Read up on recognising the symptoms and consult your Doctor if at all worried. My little one had repeated cases of bronchiolitis in her first 15 months which might not be what you want to hear but each time she was older and stronger and her medical intervention decreased each time.
It is really scary but very common so the doctors are pros at dealing with it. The cough can last for weeks but I hope your little one feels much better soon xx