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Actually ..... I have decided I cant and dont want to give birth ....HELP!!

(18 Posts)
mosschops30 Sun 08-Nov-09 10:49:14

Am 40 wks this week, its baby no.3

For the last couple of days I have had this realisation that I actually have to give birth again.
Im terrified, keep watching home and health programmes and thinking 'nope cant do it' shock watching women screaming and wailing, its horrible.
Im thinking about it all the time, and really dont want to do it anymore, is this normal????

My two others were delivered normally, and not particularly traumatic, although long and painful.

Why am I feeling like this?

cyteen Sun 08-Nov-09 10:51:32

Stop watching women giving birth then! grin

JackBauer Sun 08-Nov-09 10:52:24

Stop watching home and healthsmile
Seriously though, only the most 'entertaining' and dramatic births get on telly so all it will do is stress you out.

I think everyone gets a panic like this near the end don't they? I have completely blocked out what labour was like with DD2 but when I do think hard about it I get all shakey and panicky at the thought of having to go through it again, and I'm not even pregnant!

corblimeymadam Sun 08-Nov-09 11:03:45

Message withdrawn

displayuntilbestbefore Sun 08-Nov-09 11:06:30

I felt exactly the same but there's nothing you can do about it, so just focus on the outcome!! You'll be fine!

QTPie Sun 08-Nov-09 11:09:45

Stop watching those programmes!!!

Not that I made a point of watching them before I was pregnant, but certainly have made a point of NOT watching them since I have been... They are not constructive.

The birth is inevitable/unavoidable... but you (we all) will get through it. Then a new, wonderful DC to join the family wink

Best wishes

mears Sun 08-Nov-09 11:10:02

Definitely stop watching these programmes - they exaggerate everything out of proportion. If you feel the need to watch something, get a beautiful waterbirthing DVD instead. Good luck and you know you'll be fine smile

flybynight Sun 08-Nov-09 11:42:11

Agree with all the above - I've never screamed giving birth and I bet you haven't either.

You are just having a wee panic. And no wonder - I always think of it as being at the top of a ski jump slope (I've never in reality done this and would far rather give birth) knowing that there is only one way down. But you WILL do it, and do it well. Good luck!

Marne Sun 08-Nov-09 11:51:05

I had a long painful birth with dd1 but dd2 was easy, no screaming, i had a epidural and she was out in one push.

Stop watching the birthing programmes.

corblimeymadam Sun 08-Nov-09 11:55:50

Message withdrawn

EccentricaGallumBANG Sun 08-Nov-09 11:57:48

or watch alternative birth videos.
Ones of women actually smiling, or where the noise is powerful rather than panic.
noise doesn't have to be a bad thing, even screaming is good if that is what you want to do.

flybynight Sun 08-Nov-09 12:31:40

Sorry belgianbun, I was transferring my experience to everyone. I was told in my first labour that I putting too much energy into grunting and not enough into pushing. I've been almost-Scientologist in my stoicism ever since!

Claire236 Sun 08-Nov-09 12:37:09

I'm 36 weeks & decided the other day I couldn't give birth again. Don't know why as had relatively quick, easy birth first time round. Completely terrified at the thought of it

mosschops30 Sun 08-Nov-09 13:24:22

Now see I am a great pusher, dd was out in 10 minutes and ds in 3 minutes smile

But its just when I see it on tv I think 'oh my god, how will my lady bits ever recover' and 'oh mine never came out of there like that' - it just looks so alien as if Ive never done it before.

singalongamumum Sun 08-Nov-09 14:25:00

The others are right- stop watching the tv! It's feeding your fear. Watch something more positive, or put on some relaxing music and imagine the baby gliding out- if nothing else, it will make you chuckle! Good luck, you'll be fine- you'll remember exactly what to do from the first contraction, I betcha.

EccentricaGallumBANG Sun 08-Nov-09 15:04:44

it's a myth that women 'put too much energy into shouting'. or 'you'll have a sore throat tomorrow'.

Joycey29 Sun 08-Nov-09 19:38:20

I am so with you Mosschops!
Am nearly 38 weeks with #3 and just cannot get my head round giving birth again. Even my reflexologist who was there for #2 and was fab can't calm me down!
So understand your state of mind - can't help but I'm with you!!! wink

blinder Sun 08-Nov-09 19:43:35

on the day the fear will disappear almost miraculously and you will take it one step at a time.

also, I cant recommend epidurals enough btw grin.

seriously! it was a revelation to me after one natural birth that you can have effective pain relief.

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