It was definitely pretty painful for the first couple of attempts - but has relaxed considerably over the weeks. I assume you're using oil of some kind? I'd persevere. I was told to stretch it so it stings slightly then hold it for a minute or as long as you can.
how do you massage it? i thought you just rubed oil on it! am curious as 20 weeks pregannt with third so would like ot reduce the stinging feelign i had whilst in labour with second! when can you start? would it be too early for me now?
Picante - that's helpful! It's reassuring to hear that I might actually be able to detect an improvement over the course of the next few weeks. I'm using a sunflower/olive oil blend btw. Not v glamorous!
bethoo - if you google perineal massage you'll find diagrams. You need to stretch and pull downwards on the perineal area with your fingers or thumbs inserted in your vagina. I don't see any reason not to start now if you really want to...it's a bit of a faff and not exactly fun (IME so far!) which is why I've procrastinated til now. I think ideally you should start by 34 weeks.
Ditto it starting off uncomfortable/painful and getting less so the more you do it. I did it for both of mine (religiously from 34 weeks for first and less religiously for the second) and didn't tear either time. Good luck!