Terrified I'm going to give birth at home alone!(19 Posts)
I'm 32 weeks with my second child. My last labour was under 90 minutes and I am petrified that I am going to end up giving birth on the kitchen floor whilst my 18 month old watches.
Last time I didn't even realise I was in labour until my waters went by which point I was already 9cm dilated - luckily I was being monitored in the hospital anyway but that won't be so this time round. Once that happened the contractions were so intense I literally couldn't speak or move. I'm terrified it will happen that way again and I won't even be able to call anyone to let them know what is happening.
I've asked about a homebirth but my mw says in my area there could be a 2 hour wait for the mw to get here plus it looks like this baby is going to be on the small side so they want me in just in case.
Has anyone managed to get an induction on the basis of previous precipitate labours? I've had a quick google and the NICE guidelines recommmend against it so it's a long shot but I'm looking for some ammo to try and persuade my midwife to at least let me talk to a doctor about it.
i'd have a homebirth personally.
i had your worst case scenario 4 weeks ago whjen i gave birth to ds3 at home by myself. 16 minutes before the midwives arrived lol..
seriously though, you can call an ambulance if you think baby is imminent and they've said the midwives will be a while.
usually when you call the delivery suite they'll give you a rough estimate of how far away the midwives are.
and if you labour during the day they'll generally be there a LOT quicker
it is possible to get induction based on your history, depends though on which consultant and how sympathetic
i would read up on emergecny birth and make sure you have a phone in your pocket , charged up at all times so you can call 999 if necessary
personally, i'd be pushing for a homebirth
the reasons you have been given are not enough
have you been given a series of growth scnas? how big was your last baby?
I also had a quick first birth (although not as quick as you) but quick enough to be very alarmed by the very real possibility of having to do it alone with my second.
I chose to go for a homebirth. My midwife sounds a lot more sympathetic than yours. She told her team that when I called to say I was in labour, the on-call midwife should get over here asap. When the time came, the midwife arrived about 30 mins after we rang, which I thought was pretty good. Surely your midwife could do the same for you?
We were also advised to call an ambulance if it looked like things were happening before a midwife got there. The midwife also gave us a tutorial in giving birth alone. (Just in case....!)
In the end, the birth of my second child was not as quick or alarming as I had expected. It was roughly the same length as my first, but much easier. I also felt I had some "warning". The day before going into labour, I had a very strong sense that I needed to get everything ready for the homebirth. In the evening I had vague backpain, which made me think something might be about to happen. I also really wanted a bath, when I always have showers. It was when I realised that the last time I had had a bath was when I was in labour with baby no 1, that I clocked that something might be about to happen. So, I guess I'm saying that you might have more of a clue that you are about to go into labour than you think you might.
Also, I think it is common for your body only give birth when you are feeling OK. My second labour was progressing very quickly and we were waiting for my MIL to arrive to look after my DD. Contractions were coming every 3 mins and we were expecting her to walk through the door at any point, when she phoned to say she was just leaving her house - 1 hours drive away! My contractions immediately spread out to every 20 mins. My MIL walked through the door, and immediately contractions started up again every 3 mins and my ds was born 40 mins later. My midwife was not remotely surprised by this and said that this pattern of only giving birth when you know your other children are safe is very common.
I know it's easy to say, but I wouldn't worry too much. I'm also now 32 weeks (with my third) and am much less worried this time around about giving birth in the kitchen alone surrounded by toddlers.
I've had quick births & would say organize yourself at home with a bag, phone to call ambulance and a bag ready for your toddler. Have somewhere ready next to the front door to go if you do go into labour - soething to hold onto, lots of towels for the mess & to wrap your newborn in. For your 18 month yr old - could you set up a travel cot that you could put him in so he would be safe.
Well, if your 2nd is alot quicker than your 1st you are going to end up with a homebirth anyway - so surely a planned one is better?
My ds1 was a 2 hr labour and I was concerned about the length of dc2, so planned a homebirth.
As it happened my labour was under 15 mins, so the mw hadn't arrived and ex-H only rang 999 after ds2 was born.
MW did say after that in almost all cases a quick birth means no problems - any problems would slow things down, enough for someone to arrive.
Both mine were bank on 37 weeks (ds1 just after midnight, ds2 just before), and both were 7lb (ds2 a smidge under). So not massive babies by any means.
I had a very fast 2nd birth, we didn't make it to hospital (i wasn't allowed a homebirth because I was high risk) i ended up giving birth in the car, not ideal, but I was amazed how my body did what it needed to do. Now I'm sure you'll have a far more comfortable birth than me, but what I'm trying to say is your body will know what to do and how to cope.
Don't knowif that makes sense, but good luck and try not to worry about the ifs and buts.
You'll be amazing!!
Its safer to have an unassisted birth at home than in a car or in the hospital car park. I think with your history it would be better to give birth at home.
My sil gave birth unassisted in a hospital lift. By all accounts it was a terrifying experience.
I do not believe you would have to wait two hours for a midwife. With my homebirth I waited five minutes for a midwife.
I'm really tempted by a homebirth and will talk to my mw about it again.
They did tell me though that there are only two community midwives in my area at the moment which is why there could be a very long delay in getting to me but it is good to know about paramedics. To be honest everything was so quick last time that it sort of happened by itself anyway.
I'm having growth scans every 4 weeks at the moment as they think my placenta isn't functioning very well. Have been told to expect baby to be under 6lbs which is why they want me in hospital. My DS was about the same size though so I think maybe I just have little ones!
ready, they say that to everyone. what they usually mean is that during the night there will be 2 on call.
mine tried to scare me by saying "there will only be 2 on call, and they could be up to 2 hours away"
i said i'd ring as soon as I was in labour. and when I mentioned labouring during the day she said "oh well yes, if it's during the day it's fine"
all our local community midwives work out of our local hospital. there are many of them there all day, every day doing booking in appts and all that kind of thing. plus the ones out at local surgeries etc.
they can and will be able to find 2 for ytou, and if they can't they should send them from the delivery suite
ditto the wait. in our area it is a huge space they cover, at my last one they did take an hour to come becauyse at night they have to meet up first, get their kjit from hospital and then get to you. and they could be coming frm far afield
however, when I had ds2 i laboured during the day and one came out from the local hospital and was there within 10/15 minutes and then called her second midwife to come from our house
Giving birth at home is good!!! quickly read 'New Life' by Janet Balaskas. As long as you don't start panicking, little 'un will be interested, helpful and more accepting of the new arrival. Have some blankets and towels handy in the kitchen and organise a friend you can call on to come over when the big moment arrives! Go for it!
Do you think it would be helpful to prepare your DS for home birth just in case nobody can take him? You could read books etc and talk to him about how you might shout etc but not to be scared.
Thisisyesterday - I hope they are just trying to put me off but doubt it. After I had my DS it took 12 days before the mw could come to check on us because at that time there really were only 2 covering my area and one was on holiday - I live in Streatham by the way.
CherryChoc - thats a good idea I will see what I can do although he is still a little bit too young to understand.
DD1 was there most of the time I was having DD2 (we were all in the car) and DH got her to shout so we were all shouting together ! She was 4, and she has mentioned it a couple of times, but I don't think she was particularly traumatised!
what the midwife said to you wrt home births is rubbish. visit www.homebirth.org.uk to read about other bits of rubbish midwives like to use on women to put them off home births and get the ammo yourself.
my labour was under 2 hrs and from the get go it was intense and I could not stand and hardly speak. between contractions which were about 3 mins apart (but I told them 5) I phoned the hospital and the HB team was on its way right away. they still arrived 5 mins after the baby got there but that suited me and dh fine.
FWIW, second babies tend to come during the night. Mother nature has a way of delaying labour so no 1 is asleep at the time. honest.
oh, and yeah, if you are going to have a fast labour, it is better to plan for one in the comforts of your home than in the car or parked up alongside the motorway as would have been my case.
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