best mate been in labour for well over 30 hours, help!

[beka277]

Hi my best friend has been in labour for well over 30 hours, the baby's belly is on her side so midwife says the position of baby is making labour longer...i am so worried about her, she is confused, in pain and doesnt know or understand whts goin on and why. she is at her friends house because its close to the hospital and midwives keep telling her to go bak there becoz she will b more comfortable there. it isnt suppose to be like this...anyone been thru the same thing and hav some advice on pain relief. she says the midwives dont belive she is in as much pain as she is, but she says it fuc*ing hurts and she didnt have any sleep last night and now it is now 11pm the next night!! (we r in australia) HELP !i just want to take all her pain away, this isnt fair.

[beka277]

i forgot to say it is her first baby so she has no idea wht to expect

[beka277]

wouldnt the baby be getting distressed becoz labour is going for so long? would they give her an epidural if she is only 2 cm dilated?

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

First of all calm down, I am sure the hospital know what they are doing. The baby won't be distressed.

Paracetmol is okay to take to help with pain and warm baths will help also. Get your friend up and walking about, it will help labour move into the second stage quicker.

I was in slow labour for nearly three days and my dd1 was fine. Though the pain was bearable to me, different people have different pain thresholds.

[StripeyKnickersSpottySocks]

I hate to say it but active labour isn't counted until you're 4cm, some hospitals may say 3cm. So this is the latent phase of labour and it can take days and it can hurt like buggery but being at home or a frien's house is the best place for her. Baths and paracetamol may help. I truely believe that for many women (especially first babies) this can be the worst part of labour, its exhausting and can take so long.

They wouldn't give her an epidural until she's in established labour. So no, very unlikely she would get an epidural at 2cm.

How distressed is she with the pain?

[Lizzylou]

I was in labour for 48 hours with DS1, my contractions were all over the place and very strong, I did find it painful tbh, but I took paracetamol and moved around as Shesells said. I found a bath very good too.

DS1 is now a healthy 5 yr old (still stubborn!) so don't worry about her baby.

[OrmIrian]

Oh yes, warm bath and walking around as much as possible. I didn't know that first time round and it took longer than it neede to.

Get her up and walking!

[IwishIwasmoreorganised]

Warm baths, paractamol, hot water bottles (after the bath!) keep moving around gently and eating and drinking little and often.

It's not nice but will be worth it in the end

[duchesse]

I suspect that the contractions she's having now are maneuvering the baby into a sensible position, and once it gets there, the labour will start to become a lot more productive. My first labour was 38 hours start to finish, but the first 30 were turning my son from posterior presentation to the back to belly ideal position. Tell her to hang in there and stay mobile, and spend as much time as possible on all fours (helps the baby turn).

[beka277]

her waters havent gone...the midwives arnt encouraging her to do exercises or walk they r telling her she needs rest because labour has been for so long....
i rocked my hips becoz i had posterior with numb 2 and this worked but i was only in established labour for 3-4 hrs.
So should she rest or should she get up on her feet.....? i agree with u guys but midwives are saying something different.

[MrsTittleMouse]

I had early labour for three days with each of mine - it was easier the second time because I knew what to expect, but it is scary the first time when everything is a big fat unknown.

First of all, as others have said, this isn't uncommon, particularly if the baby isn't well positioned. Everyone (my DH included) expects things to be like Eastenders and have waters breaking and the baby crowning really quickly after contractions start. Sadly, that isn't usually the case.

Secondly, it's important for her not to panic. Can anyone help her with her breathing? The thing to concentrate on is breathing out slowly. Nature will ensure that she breathes in.

Third, it's good to get into an upright or forward leaning position to give the baby space to move and allow gravity to let the baby move down against the cervix. Just like everyone else, I can recommend walking around, also bouncing on an exercise ball if she has one.

Good luck - it's miserable when you feel every contraction so intensely - but she can get through this.

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

If she cannot sleep there is no point trying to. Get her up and walking about. Laying in bed trying to sleep when she is in so much pain will only fustrate her more in imo.

[MrsTittleMouse]

She does need to rest, but she really needs to keep off her back if she can! That will probably be the most painful position and will slow down the baby turning and descending. She can rest on all fours - draping herself over a beanbag as Butterfly said, or lean against a wall to be upright.

Walking won't be a brisk turn around the block, but just a gentle stroll to keep upright and get her hips moving.

[MrsTittleMouse]

Just a thought - has she eaten? Big meals are out, but is she getting water and something with some sugar in it - even an energy drink can help. Her body is working really hard and needs some fuel.

[reikizen]

It is very hard if someone is in 'slow labour' what to advise. I'm of the opinion that if you are in too much pain to relax you may as well be getting on with getting this baby out! Lots of first time mums feel frightened if labour drags on but the baby is well equipped to cope with the stresses of labour if it has no risk factors (small for gestational age etc). Lots of women are unprepared for the amount of pain they are in too. Keep her spirits up, she needs positive people around, not people who are frightening her. We know that the body produces adrenaline when stressed and this stops production of the hormone (oxytocin) which make the contractions stronger and more effective. Get her to eat good food, reassure her it's normal as long as baby is moving around and she is not feeling unwell herself. Take her for a walk, take her mind off it, tell her how strong and capable she is. Remind her how bored she would be if she was sat on a hospital ward rather than spending time with friends! Good luck.

[georgimama]

I was like this. From first contraction to final push was 36 hours. The hospital, as with others, didn't consider my true labour to have started until I was 4cm - which was at 6pm on the Sunday evening. DS was born at 3.32am on Monday!

Clam down - you sound really flappy I'm afraid and you aren't even in labour. Not helpful to a first time mother who is probably scared.

What everyone else said - warm baths, gentle walking (up and down stairs slowly with someone at your side in case is a good one), paracetomol, hot water bottle and she needs to eat and drink little and often. She needs to keep up her strength.

[beka277]

i dont mean to panic. im not with her we r just in contact by phone. (she is 2 hrs away and i am home along with 2 kids) I just want to drive to her because i feel she is al alone, she doesnt hav a mum, she has her bf but he is confused too and she feels as if the midwives coulnt care! So i was just after some advice...because i just dont know wht to say to her, what advice to giv her. my labours were completely different, they went to plan, so i am a bit confused too! It makes me feel better tht the baby wouldnt be distressed....
What would be the best pain relief for her so she could maybe get some sleep? for those who hav had similar experience, could labour suddenly start to move quickly or is she in for another long night?

[reikizen]

I know it seems that the midwives don't care but there really is nothing anyone can do for her apart from offer support and love at this stage! There is no way of knowing when labour will kick in, every labour is different. Paracetamol and codeine are the only things really, in the dose stated on the packet. You don't say what pain she is in (is it contractions or back pain?) are they regular? Any other symptoms?

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

Firstly, I agree with everyone who says this is normal and nothing to worry about here.

However, with my first birth I found that contrary to all the advice, walking around, baths etc made the pain much worse. In the end I got assertive with the hospital and said 'look, you might think I'm ok but I would like some pain relief' so I came into hospital and was able to have gas and air. I think she should listen to her instincts and if she is confused and panicking the hospital may well be the best place for her.

[georgimama]

Her labour is going to plan though. Yours was unusual in being that swift.

[reikizen]

I've got to go to work now but I think it's a good idea if she rings her own midwife (the community midwife) and asks her to make a visit today at home to check her and babe over and reassure her everything is okay. As kathy says though, if she really is in that much pain she needs to go to the hospital and get sorted! Good luck.

[beka277]

her contractions have been 1-2 mins long and 3-5 minutes apart

[beka277]

thanks reikizen and every1. I know wht u mean georgimama but i dont think any first time mum plans for this type of labour!

[georgimama]

No I know, I certainly didn't!

"her contractions have been 1-2 mins long and 3-5 minutes apart"

Snap, from the first one to the last. It's a bitch, it really is.

[beka277]

im going to check out and just do wht you guys have said. tell her tht it is normal and tht she can get thru this. and ure right if she cant sleep anyway then some walking mite help, thank u all so much xox