Wanting homebirth but scared................

[Overtiredmum]

I know this is completely normal but I am really considering a homebirth for DC2, for various reasons, but am scared. Firstly, I have DS who is 3 and would have problems with care for him when we needed to go hospital. My first labour was 12 hours, with an epidural, pushing stage was an hour, no complications, was home same day. We are 5 mins drive from the hospital. I would like to be at home for as long as possible and would like to try and actively labour without the epidural this time, as when pushing with DS, I felt nothing and had to be told when to push etc.

The reason I say I am scared is that I am worried in case I cannot manage without an epidural.......... are these normal feelings and under the circumstances with my first labour, do you think I would be OK with a home birth? I would like a water birth but have no room for a pool but my bath is downstairs and would like to labour downstairs anyway.

Thoughts and encouragement please.......... by the way, not due til beginning of May!!

[FiveDollarShake]

If you feel you cant cope without an epidural you can always be transferred to hospital then.

[LulumamaLovesLatkes]

yes, if you want to transfter in you cabn, but you can;t transfer from hospital to home if you cahgne your mind

after such a straightforward first birth, i would imagine a second one would be quicker and easier and with the knowledge from the first birth, you will cope better with the second

you can have gas and air and meptid at home, plus water, and vocalising and moving as you want to . all of which probably means you will cope beautifully at home

go for it!

[FiveDollarShake]

I would have loved to have had dd at home but the hospital is an hr away so it was no go. If i were you id take advantage of the fact that the hospital is so close should you need it. Go for it

[LynetteScavo]

I'd say your fear is normal!

I had a very long diffucult labour with my first birth, but did opt for a home birht 2nd time round. I was sort of relieved when I went over due, and went into hostpital to be induced.

3rd time around I knew I could do it with out an epidural (well, I had managed it once before!) We were only 20 mins away from hostpital (yes epidural if I wanted one!) but being at home I was so m uch more relaxed I didn't need one. I did use the bathe when contractions became very strong, though. I think the bath is fine, unless you actually want to deliver in water - evern then I dont' think it would be imnpossible .

The most important thing is to have faith in yourself, and your body - but it's reasuring to know the hostpital is close if you need/ feel you might need medical help.

[honeybunmum]

I have had 2 HBs and felt scared about each birth, but I think I would have been more scared about getting to the hospital. Obviously that isn't an issue for you as you are so close but it should also be your reassurance that if you really can't cope at home, you can be in hospital very quickly. I had my DD1 in hospital, was petrified on the 45min drive, ok for the birth and then hated being on the ward with all the noise and lack of privacy, ( and they sent DH home because it was late and he coudln't come on the ward. He was devastated.) I couldn't wait to get home. With my 2 HBs I was in my own bed drinking tea and feeding my baby almost straight away. I sent DH downstairs to get some food then we cuddled and admired our newborns together. It was perfect ( he had to deliver DS on his own as it was a bit quick but it made it even more special) As far as pain relief goes, most women don't need anything more than gas/air as they are so much more relaxed anyway. Don't forget your body has done this before and it will probably be easier this time.

[Overtiredmum]

Thanks ladies, that is all so reassuring. DH thinks it is a fantastic idea, which really surprised me. I think since we have talked it through, it has helped me decide on a home birth and I feel almost relieved, I think half of my feelings were stemming from the fear at having to leave DS, who I have never had a night apart from. At least if I were at home, and it were during the day, I can make arrangements for him to go out with other family members or go to nursery etc for the day/couple of hours.

I must admit, I didn't actually realise that I could get transferred just if I wanted an epi but I do think I would cope more naturally with the pain, as you all say, there are most distractions around you.

Plus if I were to give birth at home, I wouldn't feel guilty about cracking open the champagne afterwards .

[Overtiredmum]

Honeybun thats really lovely, I really think my DH would love to deliver this baby, the men can certainly be more hands-on when at home. DH just sat there drinking tea last time and I know he felt like a spare part. Saying that, I don't want people to think I had a bad experience last time, in the contrary, it was fine, midwives lovely etc, its just circumstances and wants/needs change.

[honeybunmum]

DH didn't have a choice! I know he was VERY proud of himself afterwards. I guess it would be something you can put on your birthplan, the MW ( hopefully ) will be there anyway so I can't see why they wouldn't let him deliver your baby. As my DH said " it was ok, all I had to do was catch". Agree about the champagne, although I was more interested in a nice cup of tea

[mersmam]

I've also had two homebirths after having dd1 in hospital - was terrified both times - but it all turned out absolutely fine! I would have no hesitations in recommending it. DD2 was born during the night while dd1 was asleep upstairs - it was great seeing the look on her face when she walked into our bedroom to find a real baby sister there

[LoolaBoys]

As others say you can always transfer if you are not coping, and obviously for you it would be quick to get to the hospital so all the better.

HB's are fab. I abcolutely loved mine. DS1 slept through the whole thing and it was so nice to get in my own bath and bed. Don't be scared.

[Overtiredmum]

Am not scraed of the labour, just the pain!!!

[Overtiredmum]

Sorry that was supposed to be "scared"!!

[LynetteScavo]

overtiredmum - I think the more relaxed you are, the less the pain - (or the more able you are to deal with the pain )

If you are at home and relaxed you should be able to cope if there are no complications.

Have you considered Hypnobirthing? It doesn't work for everybody, but I found it briliant for my homebirth.

[walkinthewoods]

hosp birth with #1 and all the interventions you could think of apart from cs. Was in hosp for 2 days which was awful. Not to say this was not a memorable birth, it was over whelming because of the birth of my dd.

#2 was a planned home water birth. What a difference. DD slept thro the whole thing (gave birth at 11.20pm after a labour of about 5 hours.) I had who I wanted at the birth, and mw's were there for the end. DP poured me a glass of wine about 1am, the mw promptly walked in and I didn;t even realise she was still there. (mw's were great and apart from everything else, cleared up all the mess!) Was much nicer waking up at home the morning after and introducing my dd to ds in my own bedroom in my own time with just me and dp there.

hth

[hertsnessex]

got to dash but take a look at [www.homebirth.org.uk]]

xx

[GirlWithTheMouseyHair]

do it do it - i had my ds at home 4 weeks ago and so glad i decided to. we didn't have a pool either so you don't have to have a water birth - and you can get almost all pain relief except epidural at home (personally can't reccomend massage enough), and as everyone says you can transfer for more pain relief (this is the reason the majority of homebirths transfer)

HB's are wonderful! we cracked open the champagne afterwards, was great to not have to travel anywhere afterwards too...