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Childbirth

Sending DS to his Nans while I have a homebirth - how to explain?

7 replies

mckenzie · 15/02/2005 10:13

DH and I think that if it's during the day that I'm in labour/giving birth it's probably best for DS to go to his Nan's house so that he doesn't witness my possible screaming etc.
He's 3 and a half and understands well that mummy has a baby coming and that I will be having the baby in the birthing pool which is set up already downstairs.

My predicament is how to explain to him about going to Nans without making him feel that we're sending him away. He loves going to Nans so i dont think it will be a problem but I just want to explain it properly. Any tips please?

OP posts:

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triceratops · 15/02/2005 10:21

He could go to nans to make a special welcome card for the new baby or shop for a gift. Try and put it in a positive light if you can. Get Nan to spoil him rotten, that should do the trick.

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pupuce · 15/02/2005 13:53

Don't over-analyse it.... the bigger deal you make the worse it gets. It will probably be in the night (so he'll be in bed) and he will wake up to a new baby.... I speak from experience, left a couple this morning tucked up in bed with their brand new daughter, their son (who they REALLY thought would wake up) slept through and was still not up at 7AM when I left and he is usually up!!!

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pupuce · 15/02/2005 13:53

He probably won't notice you're in labour... most young kids don't ! So he'd happy leave if he likes going to his nan.

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Pidge · 15/02/2005 13:57

Mckenzie - my dd is a bit younger (2.5) but we have a similar scenario. I'm hoping for a homebirth, if it's at night - fine. During the day she may well be at her childminders. But if not she will either have to go to a friend's house (who has a dd the same age) or to my MILs.

I haven't broached the subject with her yet, as it may not even be necessary. But when the time comes - if she does have to be relocated we will just make sure it all seems like a nice treat for her, rather than trying to shunt her out of the way. Also of course we've got a present for her lined up from the 'new baby'!

Good luck!

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Pidge · 15/02/2005 13:57

Pupuce - what a lovely image I have of that couple with their new babe!

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elliott · 15/02/2005 14:20

Well my ds was just 2 when I had my homebirth. I actually didn't tell him beforehand what the plans were (bad mummy!) - I think mainly because the arrangements had to be pretty flexible depending on which of my friends was available. Probably would have discussed more if he'd been 3.5. I actually laboured during the day. He went to nursery as usual (can't even remember if we told him the baby was coming -I don't think so!!) and was picked up by a friend he knows reasonably well. She told him what was happening and took him to her house overnight. He was completely unfazed. One thing I did do, when he came home in the morning ds2 was upstairs, so we could welcome him back properly and then bring the baby down to meet him. My friend was very sensitive and didn't fuss over the new arrival.

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mckenzie · 15/02/2005 18:16

thanks guys. I'm sure if it's during the night he will sleep through it as he's very much like his father in that respect!
I shall wait and see what happens I think as suggested and go with the flow. We do have toys ready that the 'baby brought with him/her' for DS and I'm already thinking like you elliot that I shall have the baby upstairs if and when DS returns so that we make a fuss of him but play down the baby. Having said that, he's quite animated about the new baby and talks most of the time about 'our baby' and includes 'our baby' in conversation when he talks about going for a train ride or to visit friends/family etc.

I've got high hopes that he's going to accept him/her quite well. Fingers crossed.