Fear of c-section

[April2009Baby]

I am only about six weeks along, so I realise that I am getting waaaaay ahead of myself, but I am already terrified of having to have a c-section (first pregnancy). I was reading the thread on here by a woman determined to get a section and the only thing I could think was "You're mental. My heart is beating faster just thinking about the possibility of having to have a section. How could anyone want that?" (No offence to her! Not commenting on her views at all, just how strongly I reacted to them). I literally feel slightly breathless and tearful thinking about it.

How do I work through this during my pregnancy? I have been for a booking in appt and got sent away until the 12 week scan (understandable), but I'd like to know what the team might be able to do to help me later on and what I can do myself (perhaps read up?). I am sensible enough to realise that there may be circumstances where a section is the necessary option, but I need to reconcile myself with that in advance otherwise it's going to hang over me like a big black cloud.

Any ideas?

[clarinsgirl]

I was terrified of hospitals, never mind a c-section! My birth plan was a domino birth to get me out of there as soon as possible. Reality was admission to hospital at 41 weeks on a Friday (raised BP), 3 inductions, 20 hours of labour followed by an emergecy c-section on the Monday night and an extended stay in hospital after that! Sounds like a horror story, but when I look back now, my main memories are just about my beautiful DS.

I know that there are genuine phiobias relating to childbirth and if that is where you are then I probably have no words of wisdom. However if you are simply worried and scared by c-section then what I can offer is perspective.

You will look back in years to come and what seems like your worst nightmare now will be confined to a minor place is history.

[April2009Baby]

I don't think it's a phobia or anything that extreme. I think it's perspective I need. Plus a better understanding of what actually happens if I have to have one and the risks involved (I'm quite a methodical detail orientated person, so understanding all the details would be likely to make me feel better, not more scared).

[clarinsgirl]

I think the key is a birth plan and good midwives. I'm a control freak methodical person and my biggest fear was loss of control.

The midwives were great though, they read my birth plan and quickly understood that I needed to know what was going on. Long before we got to the em c-section, a MW had told me it was a possibility and told me exactly what would happen. This made the whole thing much less stressful for me.

[lauraloola]

Congratulations x

Before I got pregnant I always wanted a c section! Once I was pregnant I was just like you and dreaded having one. I was told on my 20 week scan that my placenta was low and that if it didnt move I would have to have one. I researched it loads before the next scan so that I wouldnt be too upset if it hadnt moved (it did move so I had a natural labour) I think researching it really helped and at the end of the day you just need to get lo out as safely as you can.

There are loads of people on here who have had c sections and have had a good experience.

Talk to your midwife about your fears, I am sure she has seen it before x

You will be fine, you still have 34 weeks to research and prepare yourself x

[Sawyer64]

I have had 3 DC. my first delivery was very long and traumatic,I ended up with Forceps delivery,but apparently should have had a Caesarian.

Afterwards,most of the other mums on the ward,were walking stooped,holding their tums,and having to find alternative ways of holding/supporting their babies to feed them.
I just hurt underneath,couldn't walk or sit comfortably,and had a few problems healing.

I still felt like you,I needed to "avoid" caesarian at all cost if I could.

With DD1 (8 years later) I had a traumatic painful labour,they were going to do a Caesarian again,but I ended up with Ventouse.
recovery was quicker this time.

With my DD2 I had a planned Caesarian,was quite anxious,but Theatre staff were great. Anaesthetist was aware of any grimace I made,and topped up pain relief ,and gave me some Gas and Air(which I love)

Came back to the ward an hour later,completely painfree.I had to keep reminding myself I had had the baby as it felt so surreal!

5 Hours later I had some pain relief,and then walked out to the bathroom,got myself in and out of bath without any difficulty.
Felt great,Recovery was very quick,scar looked awful,but healed brilliantly.The only discomfort I had was my stomach muscles hurting when i laughed or coughed,this went quickly,but i do remember that from my "Normal deliveries".

Looking back,my easiest,least painful and least frightening labour was..... the Caesarian!
I know everyones experiences are different,but usually everything "new" is scarey,but the reality is less frightening.

You deal with it all because you have to IME.
And as they say they'd be alot of children with no brothers or sisters if it was so terrible.As time passes,even traumatic experiences don't look so bad,and you have such a wonderful baby to "take" your mind of it all afterwards!

[vbacqueen1]

If you want to avoid a CS I'd recommend that you do all the things that are recommended for women trying for VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean):
Hire a doula, avoid induction like the plague, stay active and upright during labour, have some hypnobirthing, avoid epidurals if possible and above all, have faith that your body is capable of birthing a baby :D

[clarinsgirl]

As for what happens - you will need an epidural or spinal block. I had this some time before the c-section as DS had turned to be back to back so I needed the pain relief. You just sit very still whist its inserted, I don't remember a lot of pain.

You are wheeled to theatre and a screen put up so you can't see whats going on. I didn't really feel very much - just remember hearing DS screaming and was aware of him being lifted out. I felt very out of it (combination of gas an air, exhaustion and epidural)

I watched him being weighed and checked whilst surgeon stiched me up.

Afterwards you are catheterised (sp?) and feel like you are likely to snap in half for a few days!

[LiegeAndLief]

I felt exactly like you when I was pregnant. Terrified of cs, terrified of hospitals, was planning a home birth. Unfortunately I developed pre-eclampsia, spent 4 weeks in hospital and was delivered by cs with no labour at 34 weeks - can't imagine anything more opposite to what I had planned! Was so frightened waiting to go into the operating theatre I was nearly sick. But actually none of it was as bad as I was expecting (apart from when ds was in SCBU, which I hadn't been expecting at all ). Cs was fine, very calm, there was a fair bit of pain afterwards but I think birth involved a fair bit of pain whichever way you go about it...

I think you are doing the best thing by thinking about it now, so that if you do need a cs you will be prepared. I had my head stuck in the sand about it despite knowing once I was in hospital it was quite likely I would end up with one. Reading is good, but too much knowledge is a dangerous thing - beware of googling scare stories

Congratulations and good luck!

[whomovedmychocolate]

I've had two sections, one good, one bad. But I'm still here and have two healthy kids - and that's the important bit. Whatever happens you will deal with it

[bladders]

I had a section with my first after 2 days in labour and failure to progress. It was not what I wanted, but actually it was a reasonable experience in the end. All the team were lovely, all introduced themselves and were really kind, epidural after 2 days of pain was utter bliss, and I was really scared of that. It was fine, just a little scratch on the back. Seeing her after all that time in labour was just brilliant, no matter how she made her exit. Recovery was fine, up and about 6 hours afterwards, yes its uncomfortable but then giving birth naturally can be pretty grim if you are unlucky.
Try not to panic, its the fear of the unknown thats the worst thing, if it came to it and you had to have a section, you just get on with it, because you have to. Its fine.

[Minniethemoocher]

I am having an elective section, due to suffering a 3rd degree tear with the birth of my first child and I am really scared too!

Just hate the thought of surgery/being cut open and stitched up, so it is good to hear of positive experiences.

[finallypregnant]

I had a emergency section within 2 hours of arriving in hospital and being told I wasn't in labour! It was actually a calm and positive experience for me. I was the opposite from you as a section seemed easier for me than a vaginal birth. Speak to your midwives about your concerns.

[April2009Baby]

Thanks everyone. It's actually really nice to hear that other people feel/felt the same and to hear positive experiences. I see so many posters on here who want a section that I was starting to wonder if I was mad to feel the opposite.

I know it will all be ok, but it's good to have people I can talk to about the fear now (it's so early that no-one else knows about the pregnancy in real life except my DH and medical stuff).

[stellabgh]

I had a c-section (at Watford GH) and although I didn't want one beforehand I can honestly say the surgeon and all the staff were great and the recovery time was fantastic.
Hope your pregnancy goes well and try not to stress too much!

[FiveGoMadInDorset]

I have had 2, first one was classed as emergency but was 6 hours between decision made and section and the second was elective and was a great experience both times.

[godivas]

If I could just wind time back and have a c-section instead of the horrendous vaginal birth I have been through!!

I gave "normal" birth 10 months ago and I am still suffering in pain. Have you really read anything about what can go wrong with your vagina if you give normal birth? I read so many horrible things about c-sections before I gave birth but nothing bad about vaginal birth. I think it's very unfair that all encyclopaedic information on websites as well as info given by hospitals and doctors excludes possible complications of a vaginal birth whereas they go on and on about how big and dangerous an operation a c-section is. Major abdominal surgery, they keep referring to it as--- Noone mentions keywords such as dyspareunia, scar tissue formation, pelvic organ prolapse, 3rd and 4th degree tears, urine or fecal incontinece, and pain pain pain after vaginal delivery though. Next time, when you read about which organs of the body a c-section may hurt, please ask yourself this question: would you rather risk having any such complications in your most delicate, most feminine organ?

Please forgive me for the rant, I just wish someone told me these things before I was convinced to give normal birth...

[morocco]

you can be proactive in working towards a vaginal birth. as vbacqueen says, hire a doula, read up about your options, book a home birth (even booking one reduces your likelihood of having a c section!).

if you do research into c sections as well, you could build that into your birth plan to give you a feeling of more control over the birth

my biggest fear with dd1 (my third, c section for first, vbac for second) was that she would be transverse and I'd have to have an elective c section. I think I have developed a phobia about c sections tbh and it's one more reason why I wouldn't have another. the c section itself was actually ok though

[bluejellybean]

Godivas I'm sorry you had a horrible time but don't scare Aprilbaby!

Aprilbaby: I was booked for a c-section through fear of all that Godivas went through.....I found lots of the web about horrible natural births. My section was booked however I went into labour a month early abs though you know what lets just get on with it!

Women do it every day. Your pain can be sorted out as can repairs, stitches etc etc. Its totally normal to be scared. The hospital want you to have a good birth.

Godivas I hope you get treatment asap.

Good luck!

[BibiThree]

Firstly, congratulations! Secondly, I started this thread and got loads of fantastic, reassuring advice.
HTH

[LadyBee]

April2009Baby - congratulations! I have an April 2008 DS, it's a good month to give birth

I had an emergency c-section, and although I was disappointed not to be able to deliver naturally, once the decision was made I found the process very calm and ordered - not a great big rush panic, which is what I'd imagined. To help prepare yourself for the possibility of it, it would be a good idea to go to antenatal classes and raise it at the beginning that you want to have a description of what happens in a c-section. Sometimes AN teachers can skip over c-sections because they are trying to prepare you for normal vaginal birth, but it's helpful to have the procedure outlined.

There's also quite good descriptions of who is there, what happens etc, in the Your Pregnancy Week by Week book by Lesley Regan, so you could try getting that out of the library and reading about it.

One thing about c-sections is that there are A LOT of people there with you, and the atmosphere, is generally quite jolly and matter-of-fact (unless it's a real emergency, I expect, don't know, but I imagine they just get on with it if there's a reason to hurry up), and I found it quite nice to have all those people say "oh! he's out! he's lovely! gosh isn't he big! congratulations! hoorah!" etc., which was a pleasant surprise TBH.

You could consider talking to your GP about your fears and seeing whether there's any possibility of getting counselling - I think that would depend a lot on how your fear was affecting you though. Or you could consider getting in touch with an independent midwife and asking them for a few one-to-one sessions to help talk through your fears with someone with a lot of experience.

Good luck!

[RhinestoneCowgirl]

I was terrified of the idea of C/S when I got pg first time round, particularly as the stats seemed to be rising for first timers. I have a real hospital phobia. However, I ended up having a v normal delivery at home, did all the antenatal yoga, listening to hynobirthing CDs the lot.

But what I've learnt about labour and birth is that you can't control things, and that however many birth stories people tell you, they can't tell you what it will be like for YOU. So do the prep, read up etc, but just take it as it comes.

I'm 6 months pg for the second time, and still a bit frightened at the idea of C/S (particularly if this one doesn't get its arse in gear and go head down...) but sometimes it is necessary to get the baby out safely, and that is more important to me.

Early pg is a weird time - MN is a great place for sharing fears that you can't always in RL.

[Oblomov]

I think you are doing very well, to even admit this/think about it now. With some support and information- knowledge, hopefully, you won't be as scared.
PLUS. many people have very good cs's. I did. Mine was fab. Some ladies have terrible natural births some have great ones. Some have bad cs. Some have great.
Hope you will feel better about it all, after this thread.

[NellyTheElephant]

I felt pretty much like you to be honest - it's normal to fear surgery. I was really scared by the thought of a section and said so. When it came to it I'd been having contractions every 1.5 - 2 minutes for over 24 hrs. Epidural inserted after about 20hrs (thank god). As I had said I was scared of a section and would prefer to avoid it they initially brought it up gently saying all sorts of reasons and justifications etc to convince me and were, I think, surprised when I yelled back 'just get it out NOW!!!!!!' I was also surprised by my reaction. When it came to it I couldn't have cared less. I just wanted my baby out then and there and safely. It was great by the way, not scary at all and as one of the others has said a very relaxed, happy, chatty experience. I was so happy once the theatre team took over my birth - suddenly everything was organised, relaxed and (believe it or not) fun - as they were all in such a good mood!

I had a planned section last time which was also fabulous - I wasn't scared this time, although i did find walking voluntarily into theatre a rather daunting experience! Everyone was so lovely though and they talk you through it with as much (or as little) info as you want to know as they are doing the op.

[AtheneNoctua]

I don't think Godiva is trying to scare anyone. I think she is saying she was ill informed and recommending that the OP inform herself on both routes of delivery. And, for what it's worth, I agree with her. I think emergency c-sections would be a lot les traumatic if went into them knowing what will/won't happen. It's just good to be informed on both options. And it could help a first timer to write a birth plan as well because she could say at what point she supports a section. For example, she might say "at the first sign of foetal distress I want you to get the baby out as quickly and as safely as possible and I'm happy if that means a section" Or she might say, "I really want to deliver this baby vaginally. Please only move to section if medically necessary".

Personally, my birth plan would say, "Please perform section at 39 weeks or at the first sign of labour, whichever occurs first" But, that's obvioiusly not the OP's preference.

[vizbizz]

I used to feel the same way that you do and didn't like the idea of a CS, but after my birthing experience I wish I had had the option of a CS. As with godivas, I wish I had known just how long you can suffer after a vaginal delivery. "normal" deliveries can also have complications with long-term effects.

I wasn't one to shy away from bad birth stories, and I had heard some rather bad ones, but what I experienced went beyond that. My ds is now 2.5 and I am still recovering even though my birthing notes state that is was a normal vaginal delivery with 3rd degree tear.

We are not scare-mongering. This is a very unfortunate reality for some of us, and it's best to weigh up ALL the pros and cons of ALL methods before making a decision. I would suggest that you have as much knowledge as you can regarding CS so that if it does end up like that, at least you are informed and can accept the necessity without fighting it. It seems to me that for many this is one of the big issues about EMCS, the feeling of loss of control.

I wish you the best in all ways! I would love to hear that noone else has a hard time of it ever again.