Worried about labour second time round!!

[boymama777]

I have a nearly 3 year old and I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant with my second. However my labour with my son was horrific and as my due date gets ever closer I'm increasingly worried that I'm going to go through a similar experience this time round too. When I say it was horrific I mean in the respect that I was in labour for over 3 days in total, had a lot of trouble dilating fully as at times it became non progressive and was left with a 2nd/3rd degree tear. I didn't and will not have an epidural for a variety of reasons and the thought of going through that again is really scaring me. I've spoke to a couple of people who have said that it's nowhere near as bad second time round but I'm still not convinced. Anybody have any similar experiences and subsequent labour stories? Essentially I'm hoping for some reassurance 😂

[LemonRoses]

I could almost have written that. Horrendous delivery first time. Transferred in labour after 48 hours at home. Long protracted time in hospital with section refused by a registrar who disapproved of home birthing and took stance “you didn’t want help before why would we section now?”
Failure to progress, accelerated by oxytocin, severe shoulder dystopia, failed forceps, internal manipulation. Three hours of stitching. Baby with HIE and cerebral irritatIon. Postpartum a horrendous haematoma and infection. Just not good. Consultants at delivery agreed I should have been given section 48 hours earlier.

Subsequent deliveries were fine. My second was eight hours of my husband panicking, but a very good midwife. When a different registrar told my husband he’d do a section if we wanted, the midwife told us to hold fire as I was nearly ready to push, wasn’t anywhere near exhausted and everything was very normal. I had to move to a theatre for delivery ‘just in case’ and there was a team there waiting but everything went well. He was a very big baby but only issue was the cord around his neck which the midwife sorted easily. I had one stitch. It was an entirely different experience.

[LemonRoses]

Dystocia not dystopia. Although it felt dystopian at the time.

[boymama777]

@LemonRoses you have no idea how much better that's made me feel! Sometimes I've felt like the only one that's gone through such a bad experience as most people's version of bad labour seems to be a day finished by an epidural although everyone's experience is individual to them of course. Really hoping I'll have a similar experience to yourself this time, about 8 hours sounds wonderful in comparison 😂 unfortunately I don't think all of our bodies are initially compatible with childbirth are they!

[LemonRoses]

My last labour was four hours no stitches. It gets better, but going into second was pretty scary. I think those of us with truly awful labours are initially so traumatised we don’t talk about it much; far too emotional for everyday conversations.

[LemonRoses]

Worrying won’t help though - fingers crossed it will be better. It usually is second time as your body seems to have twigged what it’s meant to do.
Reassurance from your midwife re:position etc might help.

[Whatagreytdoggo]

Op I had an almost identical first labour and delivery with my first, also 3 years ago. I gave birth to my 2nd yesterday 😁 textbook straight forward water birth with gas and air. Absolutely amazing! I did the positive birth company online course and it changed my whole outlook on the labour and birth. Would 100% recommend! Hope all goes well!

[Subordinateclause]

Not only was my second labour much better, 2 midwives made comments that made me feel vindicated about things that went wrong in my first labour (basically not believed I was in labour, was 9cm) and how the hospital should have acted differently. It actually made a big difference for me to hear that, several years on. I felt far more listened to this around and honestly physically it was a completely different, easier experience. Your body remembers and is already 'stretched'. Pain is so much easier to cope with when it lasts for a short time. Agree about watching some PBC videos too.

[BaaHumbugg]

I'm also terrified about my second, I was lucky to have an epidural with my first but I'm worried I won't get on in time this time as they say second labour is faster. Truth be told I'm just shit scared and don't want to do it again!

[AyyX]

@BaaHumbugg

I'm also terrified about my second, I was lucky to have an epidural with my first but I'm worried I won't get on in time this time as they say second labour is faster. Truth be told I'm just shit scared and don't want to do it again!

I feel exactly the same! Also scared about my second birth, had epidural with first after about 7hrs of holding out and just had gas and air (which I didn’t find helpful). I keep hearing from everyone that second time round is always easier (still not convinced and heard some have had difficult births with all their children).
Saying that, my cousin had her second in a taxi on the way to the hospital.. I’m hoping mine comes a bit earlier or on time because my first came 11 days late and was scheduled to get induced, had hormone drip and everything

Currently 31+5 and feeling very heavy and just want him out now

[BaaHumbugg]

I wonder if she had to pay full fare still to the taxi driver! What a story to tell the kids Hopefully second time is quicker

[jamsandwich1]

My second birth was lovely. Honestly much, much easier. Good luck, you’ll be fine.