Childbirth injury - not sure where to turn

[ahhhhballllsssss]

I have name changed due to how embarrassed I feel about what's happened

I had my third baby 12 weeks ago, worth mentioning my previous two births were 8lb12 and 9lb14 with no tearing or problems afterwards, text book births

This baby, was one week early, induced because she had stopped growing and was 7lb5

During the contractions something didn't feel right, I was in pain in an area I hadn't been during both of the previous births but put it down to it being forced.

My waters went and when I needed to push it was horrendous pain in my bum and pelvis, I couldn't move, it hurt too much, with every contraction the pain in my bottom and inside was incredible and nothing like I'd had before, I couldn't open my legs wide enough as it felt like they would snap off.

I keep saying that it was hurting and that I couldn't do it with every push, it just didn't feel right, the midwife put her hand in me at one point and said push against my hand but I said to her that I couldn't feel her hand, all I had was this pain and pressure in my bum and back and pelvis.

After being allowed to carry on like that for an hour and a half I eventually managed to get the head out and the midwife said "oh my she's facing the wrong way, I thought she had turned" so she came out looking up at the ceiling. Bearing in mind none of this was communicated to me, even when I was panicking that I couldn't get her out and I was in so much pain and thought they would have to intervene

Her head was bruised and swollen from where I had pushed her so much into my pelvis as she didn't turn.

It was all a bit of a blur after that, she didn't give me the injection to remove my placenta - just said she could pull it out, did a quick exam on me and then let me go home from delivery suite 3 hours later, my labour notes were whipped away and I've never seen them.

Now, for the first 6 weeks after, my back was still painful, it felt like something was "inside" my bum/vagina, it felt odd when I went to the toilet, and if I was walking around it felt like something was there if that makes sense, I mentioned it at check ups - which were minimal due to coronavirus and they said it would be internal bruising due to how she was born - no one actually had a look down there but I am convinced I have a prolapse, nothing looks or feels quite the same down there,

I did my pelvic floors constantly as I read online that would help, and it has to a certain extent improved in the sense that i can walk around and not feel it so much, but going to the toilet is still a weird sensation.

12 weeks on and occasionally I get a stabbing pain in the vagina, things still don't feel right, I have started having sex and it doesn't feel the same, like it's numb ?

I did some googling and it turns out she should never have been allowed to be born like that, I shouldn't have been allowed to push for so long with her the wrong way round

I don't really know where I go from here, I'm embarrassed that I'm in this situation, I'm scared to go to the doctor in case there is a serious issue, but now I know it should never have happened I don't know whether I need to get checked because of the damage caused ?

I guess I just needed to get it of my chest, I feel sad about how it happened, that she was my last baby and she wasn't born how I wanted or had before and I think it has affected me mentally.

[SeaToSki]

Im so sorry this happened to you. Firstly I think you need to go and see a GP and asked to be properly examined/scanned /seen by a gynacologist so they can understand exactly what is wrong and treat you.
Second I think you should get a review of your birth. I know ther is a way you can do this, but I dont know how, hopefully someone will be along who does know

Congratulations on your new baby

[SeaToSki]

Also google broken coccyx during childbirth. I think it sounds a little like your problem

[ahhhhballllsssss]

Thank you for your reply, I'm just worried that I've left it far too late now at 12 weeks to say something or say I'm not happy about how I was treated

[bumblingalongslowly]

You haven't left it too late you have years in which you can make a complaint....I can remember exactly how long but it is years. You can request your labour notes from the hospital. I did after a traumatic birth and I found it useful to read what had happened as so much of it I wasnt aware of at the time. Also contact the midwives/ hospital you may find there is a debriefing service post labour. And lastly get checked and referred by your GP....you know your body andasomething doesn't feel right and even if everything is ok you deserve to know that too!

[abitstuckagain]

I left it over 4 months after dd1 was born although I kept asking to get it checked. Finally gp referred me and after 2+ months further waiting I was seen by a consultant. They couldn't even use a virginal size speculum to see what was what because of the pain. TMI - She put a cotton bud inside and it came out covered in blood. I had physio for ages and when dd2 was born I had a senior consultant stitch me up afterwards instead of midwife. She said it was a very 'big mess down there' but it's been much better since. Pls force gp to make a referral. Good luck

[abitstuckagain]

Forgot to say I also asked for my maternity notes. Turns out they let me push for 4hr 23 mins. Dd1 was turned on her side with her arm/shoulder coming out with her head and apparently I have a 'narrow arch' whatever that is!