Severe birth anxiety

[mumtobeinsept]

Hello,

Been lurking around here reading stuff for month but this is my first post.

I've always had an extreme fear of birth and have avoided having kids because of it for years. I decided I couldn't put it off any longer as the clock was ticking!

I only have 4 weeks to go now so my anxiety has really picked up even more.

I decided caesarean would be the best choice for me as it would be more controlled and got it all signed off by the consultants. This initially made me feel better, but now that it's getting closer to the D day I'm even freaking out about the planned section.

I feel like I'm being stupid and melodramatic, keep being told my body was made for this... but it just does nothing to shift this feeling of dread and anxiety. I just feel so isolated and scared and keep thinking about things going wrong with the delivery.

Has anyone else experienced this? Any help would be much appreciated! Xx

[Wolfiefan]

You’re not being stupid. You’re suffering with anxiety. Have you told your midwife? You need help.

[FoxAndTheBear]

Not silly at all. I was the same i went 1 week early so I just forgot about how worried I was. Speak to your midwife she might be able to help. Your baby will soon be here & you’ll have forgotten about this moment x

[mumtobeinsept]

I haven't really managed to build any sort of rapport with the midwife, every time I go I seem to see someone different and they just want to do their check up and see the next person.

I have a 36 week consultant appointment so I might try and talk to him/her (I see a different doctor every time too!)

Thanks x

[Jolisoot]

Hey I went through the same thing in 2nd pregnancy. :( I went to a gp specialising in hypnotherapy and it really helped. One session and I was no longer consumed with fear after that. I made a plan to get an epidural asap and it worked out well.

All the best!

[Clayplease]

Please try to get a couple of hypnotherapy appointments ASAP. I was pretty much phobic about giving birth (when I unexpectedly found I was pregnant my response was terror because of the birth)
but went on to have a very calm water birth with my first. There's no way that would ever have happened if I hadn't had a crash course of hypnotherapy. Can't recommend enough. It'll all be great in the end!

[Lottieeshborn]

Hey sweet. I completely understand this feeling. I have an 8 year old daughter and I'm currently pregnant with my 2nd baby. Theres a big age gap as I have been very unwell, told I wouldnt be able to get pregnant again 5 years ago, and I'm on chemotherapy etc. So I feel so much more anxious his time as it has to be in a hospital as I'm consultant this time! I had my daughter in a midwife led birth centre and had a water birth with no pain relief and it went amazing some how! I'm so scared of interventions such as a section. I'm also a registered nurse and have seen many people after sections and know it is far more painful after than natural childbirth. It also takes a longer time to recover, your in hospital longer, and you can pick you baby up as easily as you would with natural delivery. I've said I would like to avoid a section but if I have no choice, i have no choice but they know my wishes. I've had hypnotherapy before for severe anxiety and panic attacks and it worked amazingly!! So I think I'm going to try it again! I would highly recommend!! Hope it all goes well and try some meditation techniques and asking other people for positive birth stories! Sending my love and thoughts xx

[MuchTooTired]

I had my DTs by a surprise elcs. I was adamant to start with that I’d have a vag birth, and see sawed back and forth between the two during pregnancy, but ultimately decided on the section the day they were planning on inducing me due to pe, and the dr looked at my chart and said let’s get them out today.

I was absolutely bloody terrified of having a section and was basically in tears at what was to come. It was absolutely bloody brilliant! I had a team, and each of my babies had their own team, and the anaesthetist had been told how scared I was and took the time to explain everything to me, checked multiple times I couldn’t feel a thing, reassured me that whatever happened she had a solution for it, and that she wouldn’t let a thing happen to me, and nothing would happen without my say so. Hell, she even held my hand through part of it. Between her and the dr who was part of my team too, they made me feel like I was 100% in control of the entire process (despite my never having been so vulnerable before), and that anything I was scared about would be fixed and taken care of before it even became an issue. They were absolutely true to their word, and even when things got hairy (DT2 wasn’t breathing properly when she was born) the room filled up with another army of medics and she was whisked away but absolutely fine and joined us in the recovery room later on.

If I were to have another baby, I absolutely would have another section. It was brilliant, and definitely the best choice for the three of us. Recovery was fine, I was out and about shopping when they were two days old, back to driving at two weeks, and although I have an overhang on my stomach, my scar is neat and tidy. Given the size I was when I delivered them, I’m not surprised I’ve got an overhang!

To prepare for both vaginal and section delivery I googled and read only positive stories on here. I figured the babies would be coming out of me anyway, so if anything bad were to happen I’d just get through it somehow, but wanted to prepare my mind as much as I could do hence the positive stories, to give me a belief that it would all be ok.

Having a section is scary, having a vaginal birth is scary too. An elcs I think is possibly the calmest way to give birth, becuase it’s being done to you, you’re not in labour and there’s no pain so you can concentrate and be helped with your fears etc. I don’t think I’ve explained that terribly well, but hopefully you get what I’m trying to say!

Good luck whichever way you give birth, and enjoy those newborn snuggles!

[mumtobeinsept]

Thank you that makes me feel a lot better I am going ahead with my planned section and hoping for the best.

Just over 2 weeks left, can't wait to meet my baby girl

[Cb700]

I totally understand where you are coming from with anxiety. I am terrified and cry everyday dreading what is to come. When people say it’s exciting all I think of medical and going into hospital. It seems a nightmare and so angry with myself as the baby is ivf so I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I’m booked in for inducing this week so making me feel worse.

[Alicesweewonders]

I was the same and suffered from tokophobia, luckily got booked for a section. It went really well, best decision I made. Good luck!

[MyCatDrinksFlatWhites]

@Alicesweewonders, did you get any support for your tokophobia beyond them agreeing to a section? I am in the same position after a previous birth and know I can choose a section but am trying to see if there is any support available and not getting very far.

[Rosie219]

I've had 3 elective sections due to tokoophobia. I had counselling prior to my first section. I'm glad I opted for the elective it made me less anxious knowing what was going to happen. However my third section was a bit tricky due to scar tissue and I was advised not to have anymore.

[Unsureursula]

@mumtobeinsept hello! Can I ask how your CS went? Reading your post is like reading out loud exactly how I’m feeling! I’m a FTM and due to probably undiagnosed anxiety and previous PTSD from past surgical procedures I have requested and had agreement on a CS for 30/10. However, as the date approaches I’m now scared about this too so would be very appreciative if you could share your story. TIA

[mumtobeinsept]

Hello @Unsureursula

I had my section exactly a month ago today. It all went really well apart from a really bad headache I got from the local anaesthetic(spinal) which they gave me painkillers for via IV. Apparently this is quite rare so I wouldn't worry about it and if it happens, they have painkillers on hand.

The doctor came to see me before the op and had a chat to reassure me since he had read my notes that I was very anxious. The midwives were really nice too and took care of me.

I went in at 10, they gave me stockings, did their checks etc, then I sat in a room until 12 when I went to theatre and baby was born at 12.48 they checked me over in recovery and I was on the ward less than an hour later.

My wound healed really well and stitches were removed 4 days later.

I'm sure everything will go well for you too hun. Honestly I think getting the baby to latch on was way more stressful then the op for me in the end. They do so many of these sections every day and since it's planned the pace is so relaxed.

I know it's hard but try not to worry and focus on getting everything ready for when you're home from the hospital because walking around will be difficult the first 3 days or so.

Good luck xx

[Unsureursula]

@mumtobeinsept thank you so much for your reply- it’s honesly helped so much!
I’m really pleased to hear you’re recovery has been going well and I’m sure you’re delighted to have it all behind you now!
Hope you and baby are doing well xx

[mumtobeinsept]

@Unsureursula no prob at all I'm glad it helped yes I'm happy it's all behind me, although I now have the newborn struggles to deal with!! haha

[Newmum2b78]

I had an elcs last Friday. I suffer with anxiety and I was terrified. I have to say it was an amazing experience. Everyone in theatre was lovely and really made me feel relaxed. I told them I was terrified of being sick and they gave me something to make sure I wasn't. It was over really quickly and I have had a very speedy recovery. I was up and walking the same night, no pain, and a week later feeling fab.

You will be absolutely fine, and once you hear your baby cry you won't care what is happening to you !!

Please don't be worried, easier said than done, but I would do it again in a heartbeat x

[Unsureursula]

@mumtobeinsept Awh I bet but great to have it behind you as you say and have a lovely newborn! Enjoy all those cuddles!
@Newmum2b78 thank you so much to you too! Honestly it’s great to hear positive stories- I’m getting more anxious as the date approaches yet at same time I’m so over being pregnant and can’t wait to meet our little baby!