Sex after episiotomy

[LeeCee]

I'm 3 weeks post induction for my baby girl. Had a long hard labour which finished with an episiotomy- afterwards I got an infection and have found out this week that the stitches have come out. So it's now up to my body to repair and heal the wound naturally

I'm so down about it, and so worried about the impact on our sex life.

Has anyone got any positive experiences of episiotomy, tears, stitches coming out early etc - how long until you could face sex again afterward? How painful was it? Can it feel as good again for me and for him?!

Sorry if these are stupid questions! I feel like I'm in bits down there and between that and the post natal hormones I feel so low

[Anna2006]

Hi,

Not exact same circumstances as you as I also had a severe tear as well as an episiotomy. My wound didn’t break down but I did have issues with the scar tissue and sensitivity for quite a while. An still occasionally do.

But wanted to try offer some reassurance that even after all of the damage to that area for me,sex did eventually get back to enjoyable. It just sometimes takes time.

My episiotomy never really caused me much issue once healed during sex. Bath daily in Epsom salts to encourage it to heal up as quickly as possible. And once it has healed over, try get estrogen cream from the doctor or just any scar cream and massage it in. Pulling the scar in various directions an pushig down on your vaginal opening where the scar is. Doing this early mobilises the scar an helps it become stretchy skin again.

Very sorry to hear your suffering. But hang on in there! It does get better!

[guineapig1]

Please don’t worry too much - it is still very early days - things should feel much better in another few weeks. I had an episiotomy with DC1 - the stitches healed well and we dtd after about 8 weeks. With DC2 I tore along the scar line and the stitches broke down. I’ll be honest it was a longer recovery time but back to dtd (gently!) after about 12 weeks and pretty much back to normal after 6 months.

Just try to relax and give yourself time to heal .

[Acitywallandatrampoline]

Exactly the same happened to me, had to wait until 10weeks to have sex. I was so nervous, but was completely fine! No other issues since.

[LeeCee]

Thanks all

@Anna2006 I'll look into that cream

It's so nice to hear from people that have been through it. I know it's early days and I'm trying to just be patient. Just want to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

[DelphiMum]

Have you seen someone expert who advised you about leaving fallen stitches to heal naturally. Often GPs can dismiss this and focus on avoiding an infection rather than making sure you have a functioning vagina. I had my stitches redone after 6 months as they were botched but perfectly healed the first time.

Good luck.

Lube.

[FartnissEverbeans]

I had an episiotomy and it took me ten months to have sex without pain again, but I think that’s way worse than normal. All absolutely fine now, wouldn’t even know anything had been done! You’ll get there eventually - just go slowly and use lots of lube

[PRoseLegend]

I'm 8 weeks postpartum. We have had a couple of "goes" since 6 weeks.
Taking it slow.
Didn't hurt at all the 3rd time. Baby was asleep, I had a drink to help me relax more, we put music on and took our time.
Some positions are now uncomfortable and hurt a bit, but other positions are fine.

The biggest barrier is in your mind. It's okay to be anxious, especially while everything is still sore.
Wait at least 6 weeks, wait until bleeding stops completely, get the all clear from your GP, and take it slow.

[SiblingDifference]

For reassurance after mine 8.5 years ago I couldn’t imagine ever being able to again. I now forget about it, plus I had no tearing at all in my next two births- and this was after I tore through the cut and I was in a panic about continence

[Ches89]

Hi I’m so relieved to find this post as I am currently in the same situation. I had my son on 19.1.19 and had to have episiotomy and forceps. 5 days later it was discovered that I had contracted a hospital based infection and was rushed to theatre as my wound had completely broken down and I had to have all the damaged tissue removed. I was horrified when they told me that they don’t restitch and the wound would have to heal itself. I’m not in pain anymore but it is awful knowing that I have a gaping wound and don’t know how long it will take to heal. I have been crying daily as I feel like I am currently living in someone else’es body :(

[bellinisurge]

Oh @Ches89 , I'm so sorry. I had similar. I'm really glad for you that they picked it up but I'm sorry that you had to go through it and are still going through it.
Please make sure you have someone who can advocate for you. And although you are quite rightly the priority here, if you have a partner, they will be pretty knocked by this too. And all with a little baby to care for.
Slowly slowly. Be very kind to yourself.