Experiences of having second (or subsequent) baby after 10 year+ gap

[11yrgap]

I'm really interested to know how it will be when I have my second in the summer. My first child will be nearly 11.

I know all labours and births are different but did people find it was like having their first again or was it easier like you might imagine a second with a small gap to be?

I'm not anxious about the birth, well no more than is normal,just wondering if my body will have remembered. I would say I'm expecting crowning to be easier and potentially less tears as I had a large ish baby first time round and was definitely not the same after.

[EverythingNow]

I have 9years between dd1 and 2 and my labour was far easier with dd2, as was breastfeeding and just generally my recovery. I still tore (2nd degree) but then my first was 3rd degree plus episiotomy. My labour was half the time of my first too.

[11yrgap]

Thanks thats good to hear. I'm hoping for a faster labour but you never know!

[avocadoincident]

I've got an 18 year gap and the birth was a lot easier second time round. I was quieter, calmer and more in control.
I'm also more patient now and even when times are tough you know it's all just a phase that will pass so it's easy to stay sane.

Congratulation and good luck

[11yrgap]

Thank you. I've been considering a home birth for the last couple of days so it would be nice to think that with the exception of any medical issues happening,it could be easier.

[justcallmemarypoppins]

Hi. I had an 11yr gap and about to have my 3rd with 5yr gap.

My 1st delivery was hard work, interventions and everything needed except c-section. Latest phase went from Sunday to Friday, induced on Friday and took 24hrs.

2nd delivery was still induction as my body doesn't seem to want to kickstart alone but took 11 hrs and only tens and g&a. It was so different. I was different with the 11yrs.

Any labour hurts, you know this, but trust your body to do what it knows it can but listen to midwives around you.

Good luck 🙏🏻

[11yrgap]

Thank you and congrats on expepecting your 3rd!

[Soontobe60]

10 year gap here, 25 with first, 35 with second. Quicker, less traumatic birth second time round, but then had a PPH and almost died!
Also, it was much harder doing the sleepless nights etc. They didn't play with each other, and were quite distant once the eldest hit puberty but now, as adults 24/34 they are very close indeed.

[11yrgap]

Wow that must have been scary. I was 20 first time round,will be 31 this time. I'm dreading the sleepness nights,was full of energy back then. I remember being in a lot of pain after labour but not really tired. However this timeI will have a partner helping.

I do worry they won't be close,especially as they have different Dad's but my partner and his family treat DD like their own. His Mum said she's so excited to have a second Grandchild bless her.

[divadee]

I have a 19 year age gap. The 2nd pregnancy was a lot harder being 19 years older, the birth was a lot quicker, 1hr 42mins with my 2nd. I am feeling tired but I have been blessed with one who suffers with reflux and doesn't sleep!

[MummEE2]

It's 10 years between my 1st and 2nd. Pregnancy wise 2nd pregnancy was tougher.

Labour wise 2nd was easier. 1st labour was 22hrs long, I had epidural, forceps and a cut. With second I expected similar but could not be any more different! I had my DS in 2 hrs 30 mins from the first contraction. So very quick labour, no cuts, only had a bit of gas and air.

My DD is nearly 11 and DS is 3 months now. My DD absolutely adores him, helps out, loves playing with him. Plus there's not been any jealousy that I've heard my friends children with smaller age gaps have had. As DD is of an age she understands the baby requires a lot of attention.

There's been a few times when I've nipped to toilet and DS has started crying. I've come back to my DD holding him, rocking and DS being content and my DD being proud she's comforted him.

This time round I'm a much more relaxed mum and have managed to EBF-something which I could not manage with DD for long at all. It's a much nicer experience even though the baby is more fussy than DD was when she was a baby.

Congratulations, I think you'll enjoy it. I've not regretted the long age gap for a single second!

[justcallmemarypoppins]

Have you had your baby now? I had my a few days after posting to you, she's now 6 months old and life is crazy with 3 monkeys! 🤪