Advice needed

[Mrsb3004]

Sorry guys a bit of a long one... after 2 years of trying we got pregnant with our previous baby boy (now 17 months old) smooth pregnancy but the birth was hell, 30 hours of labour contracting every 5 mins or less, turns out he was stuck, shoulder distocia, ended in a 3rd degree tear (too late for a epidural) forever delivery where he was head out only for 4 minutes, he didn't breathe for 3 mins and was taken straight to neonatal for 5 days fighting an infection. He was 10lb5oz!!!! No signs of a big baby so they let me go overdue and I had all those complications. Needless to say I was in a state and ended up in theatre for nearly 3 hours and had a infection post surgery which left me in a state. 8 days in hospital and finally home. 2 months down the line we tried to be intimate again but was unable to dispite trying time and time again, ended up having further surgery 9 months down the line to remove some scar tissue and finally got our sex life back on track. Braved it when babe was 13 months and started trying again (obviously not knowing how long it would take this time!) Got pregnant straight away -Great! 6 weeks in we find out it's ectopic, they found it too late so had surgery to remove my tube and got told to let myself heal physically and mentally for 3 months before we try again. We're now back on it and hoping we will be lucky enough to conceive again however all I can think about is the birth... I so desperately can't ever go through that again, and my lady parts are only finally recovered again. Am I going to be treated badly if I opt for a c section? My sister had 6 section and heald so so much faster than me after surgery number 1. I just want some advice here... so sorry I rambled for so long.

[MadScientist10]

So sorry to hear that you have had such a hard time with everything. I also had a traumatic birth first time round and when I was due to give birth to my second I was freaking out. I had to be induced due to other health problems both times but was referred to a midwife who dealt with this kind of thing. Basically someone to talk through everything with, etc. I think that you can always elect to have a CS but some hospitals (like the one local to me) won’t allow it unless there’s health reasons so refer you further afield.

For what it’s worth the second birth was nothing at all like the first. Pretty straight forward. I was in shock!!!

I hope that everything goes well but if you’re feeling anxious about the birth once you’re pregnant again then ask your midwife for that referral! Good luck :)

[sproutsandparsnips]

I had a 3rd degree tear with my first but nothing like as traumatic a time as you did and was given the option for a ELCS and had one. There were one or two snotty MWs but generally everyone was very supportive.