What to expect

[Neoflex]

Hi everyone. I am getting closer to my due date and trying to get my head around the fact that a baby will be here. Just feels like there are so many unknowns and I still don't feel I have a grip on what is coming. Would you all be so kind to answer a few quick questions, even with just a number or word?
Vaginal birth or Csection?
Pain relief?
How long was your hospital stay?
How long did baby sleep at night the first weeks?
How many times did you feed a day?
How many nappy changes?
What could Dh/dp help with?
How long did everything take to heal?
How long before you first left baby to go out? (Even just leaving with dad)
How long until you felt like yourself again?

Sorry for so many questions but I feel like I am in a bubble with my friends. They think their experiences are everyone's experiences and I know you get such a more varied view on here.

[HandbagFan]

Hello

I have one DS who’s now 20 months old.

It was a c section at 42+1 after 2 failed sweeps and 3 failed inductions
Obviously a spinal during, and the pessary immediately after but then paracetamol, ibuprofen and some oromorph in hospital
He was born Sunday evening and we finally left Friday night due to him getting an infection and needing IV antibiotics
He was up every two or three hours at first. Went 10-6 at 5m but we never had truly sleepless nights. We were lucky.
Every two hours in the first weeks then every three and eventually every four.
Probably 8-10 nappies a day at first (I remember a stage where he pooed after every feed). It’s been a lot less than that for a long time!
DH could do everything except express breast milk. When he went back to work I just needed him to do the stuff that keeps us going - washing, food shopping, hoovering - as there was no chance with a small baby attached to you.
I felt ok after a couple of weeks and by six weeks later I was going places. Just take it easy.
I first left baby three weeks after he was born for 90 minutes to go out for dinner on my birthday. Mum and Dad looked after him and I missed him the whole time I was out.
Probably a fair few months. You’re a Mum once they’re out and nothing is ever quite the same again. But it takes a while for swelling to go down, bleeding to stop, boobs to settle. Even now I still have days where I am a state. But DSis clean, healthy and happy. So we’re all good.

Hope this helps.

[sthitch]

7 week old DD, first baby.

-Vag birth with episiotomy and ventouse
-epidural with induction drip
-went in on Tuesday, had her on Wednesday and stayed until Friday
-apart from a night or two, she has slept really well, goes down at 9pm until around 3am for a feed and then sleeps until 7am - we are really lucky
-feeding every 3/4 hours and one feed in the night. Bottle fed 4oz each time to start with around 6 times every 24hrs, she was 9lbs 4 so took a bit more
-nappy changed every couple of hours apart from the night (once at night before 3am feed)
-DH helps after work and gets the bottle in the night
-healing wise, I would say a month? I started to feel better around 5 weeks as I did too much, once I relaxed and stayed at home, everything was better- it would have been less if I did less! I felt like myself straight away really, even with a difficult labour. In terms of knowing what I'm doing and being in a good routine, I would say this 7th week.
-we went to see some friends to go for a meal at week 2, her parents insisted that we left her so we could enjoy the meal - it wasn't planned and had I known I would have been anxious (as she was so young, not because I didn't trust them) however it was fine and we really enjoyed it- we haven't left her since but would happily go again. Other than that I've had the odd bath and had my hair cut once and that's as much as I've left her really!

[1DAD2KIDS]

Dh/dp can help with everything bar breastfeeding.

[Scoleah]

Vaginal birth or Csection? Vag!
Pain relief? None on Both!
How long was your hospital stay? About 12 Hours. Gave birth 00:10 left about midday
How long did baby sleep at night the first weeks? Prob around 2-3 hours, had a feed then went back
How many times did you feed a day? We fed on demand, so haven’t got a clue!
How many nappy changes? When tiny baby around 4/5 a day?
What could Dh/dp help with? taking over so you can have an hour, prepare food, anything really, don’t realise how time consuming a baby is!
How long did everything take to heal? Quite quick, no stitches on Both, so even though I was sore I was up and out the same day!
How long before you first left baby to go out? (Even just leaving with dad) after a week with my first (went for a bday meal for my 21st, was gone all of an hour before I needed to come back, with second, he’s 18months and I’ve left him once!
How long until you felt like yourself again? Same day, I felt an amazing overwhelming feeling of proudness and was beaming from ear to ear for Months (still don’t think I’ve come down from my cloud 9 yet and youngest is 18months!)

Good luck with everything; trust your body!

[Neoflex]

Thanks everyone! I am hoping for the best and preparing for the worst in terms of recovery time etc. Would like dh to do as much as possible.

[Mrscog]

DS1
Vaginal birth or Csection? Vaginal Birth
Pain relief? Gas and Air for about 6/12 hours
How long was your hospital stay? 2 nights
How long did baby sleep at night the first weeks? 2 hours at a time
How many times did you feed a day? About 12 times for an hour each time for first 6 weeks.
How many nappy changes? ?8ish
What could Dh/dp help with? everything except breastfeeding. He was in charge of keeping me hydrated and nourished.
How long did everything take to heal? About 6 weeks
How long before you first left baby to go out? (Even just leaving with dad) 4 months
How long until you felt like yourself again? 8 weeks


DS2

Vaginal birth or Csection? Vaginal Birth
Pain relief? Gas and air for about 3 breaths (only just made it to hospital)
How long was your hospital stay? 6 hours
How long did baby sleep at night the first weeks? 3 hour stretches
How many times did you feed a day? About 8-10 times a day for about 20 mins each feed.
How many nappy changes? About 8
What could Dh/dp help with? Everything except breastfeeding
How long did everything take to heal? About 2 weeks
How long before you first left baby to go out? (Even just leaving with dad) 3 months
How long until you felt like yourself again? 2 days

[OrchidShmorchid]

Vaginal birth or Csection? Vaginal both time, no tears just minor heading, no intervention in any way
Pain relief? Pethedine then Epidural with 1st, pethadine then just had and air with second
How long was your hospital stay? Out 17 hours after no.1 and 10 hours after no.2
How long did baby sleep at night the first weeks? Dd1 woke every hour round the clock, dd2 woke 2/3 hourly round the clock
How many times did you feed a day? As many times as they woke
How many nappy changes? Again every time they woke unless at night when I only change if they had a poo
What could Dh/dp help with? Everything aside from breastfeeding. But even then i just fed baby he settled them.
How long did everything take to heal? About a month for grazes and muscle issues, 2 months for SPD but bled for 12 and 9 weeks.
How long before you first left baby to go out? (Even just leaving with dad) about 2 weeks I think both for docs appointments
How long until you felt like yourself again? I still don't really and dd1 is 4!

[DoubleRamsey]

Vaginal birth or Csection?
Vaginal birth

Pain relief?
Epidural (recommend!)

How long was your hospital stay?
3 nights due to anemia (me) and jaundice (dd)

How long did baby sleep at night the first weeks?
Baby woke every 2/3 hours, the problem was more convincing her to sleep in Moses basket. We cracked That after about two weeks of hellish persistance. At about 6 weeks she started sleeping 4-6 hours a night and now at 12 weeks she sleeps through (at the moment!!)

How many times did you feed a day?
Every 2-3 hours

How many nappy changes?
Every 2-3 hours

What could Dh/dp help with?
Nappy changes, sitting up with baby for 3 hour stretches so I could sleep, cooking and bringing me endless cups of tea/water/snacks, making me laugh, doing washing, cleaning, etc

How long did everything take to heal?
2nd degree tear, 6 weeks back to normal, 8 weeks back to pre-pregnancy weight

How long before you first left baby to go out? (Even just leaving with dad)
2 days for a shortish walk (was going crazy in hospital!), have done several hour long walks, but baby 3 months and still not left her for more than 3 hours, but still ebf

How long until you felt like yourself again?
Good question, physically very quickly (8 or so weeks) mentally not sure I'll ever be quite the same but she is young so we will see!

[Halfdrankbrew]

Vaginal birth or C-section? Vag birth both times
Pain relief? Gas and air and diamorphine both.
How long was your hospital stay? First time I went home after 1 night 24 hours after giving birth, it'd been quite a long labour and I'd not slept for 2 days so was happy to stay put. Second time I was wanting to go home 5 minutes after he'd arrived, got out after 8 hours.
How long did baby sleep at night the first weeks? First night they were both very sleepy, partly drugged and exhausted from child birth. Both slept in few hour chunks once home, pretty much continued like that till 3 months old with the first. Second baby no signs of sleeping through he's currently 3 months old. Both breast fed though.
How many times did you feed a day? No idea, have fed them both on demand and never sat and counted or looked at the clock?
How many nappy changes? Lots at first, 8 or 10 a day. As they get bigger it's just as and when they need it, maybe 5 or 6?
What could Dh/dp help with? Everything not feeding related really.
How long did everything take to heal? I didn't have stitches with either but did tear slightly. I felt great immediately after the first, the first few days no problems, until I got up fast and tore something? It then took weeks to heal and I wasn't really normal down there for 6 months plus. Second baby I went for a 3 mile walk the day after giving birth, I felt great, just achy like I'd done a big gym session.
How long before you first left baby to go out? Left the first one at about 2 months old and had our dinner out on our own. Second one won't have a bottle so it isn't looking promising for a little break anytime soon.
How long until you felt like yourself again? Physically first time, a few months, psychologically I still don't and my eldest is nearly 2!

[Nomad86]

Both kids were vaginal deliveries. First needed episiotomy. Both quick labours (10 hours and 6 hours). Gas and air for both. Stayed in one night with the first, out in four hours the second time. Very quick recovery, out and about the next day. DH helped with everything but feeding (still fetched me drinks, cushions, food etc while feeding). I never really left the baby with him for the first few months but more because I didn't need to. Felt back to normal physically quite soon, just tired from night feeds.

Newborns need feeds and nappies around every 2-3 hours but it depends on how they're fed. Both were good sleepers in the main, slept for 3 hours at a time at first. First child wouldn't sleep in her basket for the first couple of weeks so DH and I did shifts staying up and cuddling her in front of Netflix until she'd learnt day and night.

[annlee3817]

Vaginal birth or Csection? Vaginal
Pain relief? None
How long was your hospital stay? 1 night, which was my choice as am wanted help with breastfeeding
How long did baby sleep at night the first weeks? She would be wide awake till 3am the first few weeks. Then until four months she'd wake once or twice and then became a shit sleeper
How many times did you feed a day?fed on demand, sometimes she would clusterfeed for hours.
How many nappy changes? So many
What could Dh/dp help with? After feed cuddles, nappy changes, walking around with her trying to settle her, baths, emotional support. Allowing me some sleep
How long did everything take to heal? Around two weeks, second degree tear, didn't bother me at all really
How long before you first left baby to go out? (Even just leaving with dad) 6 weeks, we went out for a few of hours with friends as she would have bottled expressed milk, from three months she refused a bottle so was ebf
How long until you felt like yourself again? Just starting to due to job changes, taking some time out for DH and I and she's 2 1/2 next month, it's a whirlwind, but for me it's worth it.