Delivery of 2nd DC - can anyone give me advice? Suddenly feel sick and anxious.

[Tigerpig]

Hi there,

I'm in the very early of stages pregnancy with my 2nd DC. And I know that I will be classed as High risk this time round.

I had issues with the birth of my first, and I thought I was relaxed about how number 2 would go; however, now I'm pregnant it's on my mind and I'm starting to feel anxious and sometimes teary it's like it's all coming back to me.

Anyway, bit of background from DC1:

• easy pregnancy, low risk through out
  
• went 2 weeks overdue and had episode of reduced movements
  
• was induced via pessary then drip
  
• DD was back to back throughout labour and was delivered back to back (apparently that's not ideal!)
  
• DD was 9lb 12
  
• I'm 5'6 and size 10 so big baby for me
  
• delivery was thankfully instrument free
  
• although I did have an episiotomy
  
• after delivery I had big PPH and lost 2.5 litres of blood
  
• had to have blood transfusion and several bags of fluid
  
• I contracted Sepsis
  
• was very poorly for a while after birth
  
• convinced I acquired SPD during labour as I was in agony for 6weeks + post delivery (bent the pram frame from walking in it like a Zimmer frame!) could only lie flat on my back for months. Couldn't roll over. Couldn't turn to my right (had to walk in a big circle) couldn't do stairs etc
  
• recovered and all fine now
  

With all the above in mind I'm terrified of going through that again, but I'm also worried about how I would cope after a c-section and a toddler (DD will be 2 years 4 months when DC2 arrives) that said I am genuinely convinced my recovery first time round was much worse than a planned section. I was a mess.

I will need to discuss my fears and circumstances with midwife and consultant in due course but I was hoping that some of you may have some words of advice/input that I can think about over the next couple of weeks.

Thanks for reading

[IndianaMoleWoman]

I was scared of my second birth after everything that happened with my first (waters went at 34 weeks, baby induced, epidural didn't work, baby poorly in NICU), but I used my experience to make it very clear to everyone involved that I knew what I wanted/didn't want, so that I felt a little more in control. For example, I needed another induction but I refused to let them start before the epidural was in place.

Unfortunately even more things went wrong second time around but I just kept telling myself that:
a) it would all end eventually and
b) it would be so, so worth it in the end. Despite being awful, it did end and it was worth it!

I had a longer recovery second time around but ten months later I can say it was definitely worth it (but I won't be doing it again!)

Good luck with your pregnancy and birth; I hope you have a better experience this time.

[Coldhandscoldheart]

Another here who was very scared of second birth after the first ended in emcs. I hadn't realised how affected I was until I cried all over the consultant around week 20.

I had a referral to clinical psychology, and although I was very dubious to start with, I am really glad I went, it was very helpful sorting out all the emotions & worries & making a plan.

Had hoped for vbac, but as it was ended up with elcs.
Was terrified beforehand, but all theatre staff were very kind. I can't say it's what I would have wished for, but lots of things made it better, and all in all, it was so much more positive than first time round.
I also used some of the techniques I had worked on with the psych to help stay a bit calm.
Good luck, you have time to think about this.

[MaMisled]

First delivery I swear I wanted to be euthanised. Just awful, intolerable, devastated my under carriage and coccyx. 15 hours of torture.

2nd delivery. 4 hours, low lights, soft music and I've have happily done it again 15 mins later.

[TwitterQueen1]

Poor you. Sounds awful. I had a terrible 1st birth like you - everything under the sun apart from a C section. Baby back-to-back. Incredibly painful and protracted.... 2 day labour.

I assumed 2nd baby would be the same - WRONG! labour 4 hours from start to finish, no intervention or drugs - no time! Aside from making it to hospital with only 20 minutes to spare everything went as it should.

No 2 births are the same. Maybe try some mindfulness techniques as you get closer? Good luck.

[ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay]

Don't fear a c section. I had a planned c section and 3 days later I was at home looking after my 1.8 year old. Listen to your body and sit down when u need too. I've had 2 sections and both times I have healed quicker and less painfully than women I know who have gone down the vaginal route.

[Tigerpig]

Thanks for the responses. It is good to know I'm not alone in these feelings.

It's so bizarre, I literally had a conversation before I was pregnant with my DH how I didn't need a birth debrief as I'm fine, jokingly said 'well doesn't really matter, they will get the baby out' And just a couple of months later, I guess now the prospect of delivery is a reality, I'm an amotional wreck.

Looking at the positives - and taking feedback from PP I can make my wishes known and there is still time for counselling or similar. Maybe a birth debrief would be beneficial after all?

@mamisled what caused your second to be different to your first? I would love that to be the case for me, but currently feeling scared of the unknown, scared of the recovery, scared of something going wrong as there's so much more at stake this time.

This is poles apart to how I felt first time round; I was so blasé! Naive maybe?!

[justkeepswimmingg]

Hi OP, just wanted to put your mind at ease. I have a complicated pregnancy and birth history (won't go into details), and due to that I am being seen under a consultants care for this pregnancy. My consultant will not allow me to go over my due date, and baby needs to be monitored constantly during labour (so sadly no water birth for me). On my due date he is going to attempt to break my waters, and if all else fails then straight for an ELCS. Consultants are fantastic, and really do listen to all your concerns and worries, and will act on them. I only have a couple of weeks to go, so I am nervous (I'm happy to report back after birth of baby), but I do feel more positive about this birth. However like others have said, trust your body. You will be kept a close eye on this time around, and they will do everything possible to ensure you don't have the same outcome. Also remember you are still early, and you don't know how this pregnancy is going to plan out. My baby has been breech throughout my pregnancy, so we had planned an ELCS, until last week he suddenly turned. There was also concerns with my placenta at the beginning of my pregnancy, but thankfully it moved. I know it's hard not to worry, but you really are in safe hands and allow that to reassure you. Also it's never too late for a debrief of your previous labour, and counselling, if that's what you'd like to do .

[Tigerpig]

A couple of cross posts and a new one since I last checked. I just wanted to say thanks for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it.

Had a really good chat with my husband and was good to open up and get my feelings out there on this post and to DH.

Thanks again everyone, I will post again throughout pregnancy when I know what my options are.