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Childbirth

I now know why the birth for DS4 was so awful....Sorry, this is going to be long.

16 replies

LadyTophamHatt · 28/02/2007 17:56

Apologies in advance for the waffle but you wereall so nice to me throughout my PG and my birth announcemnet thread makes my heart swell so I think I owe it to you all let you know.

Ok, I was in a mad lunatic state while i was PG, I worried about everything.
I was utterly convinced something was going to go wrong.
Getting to 12 wks was a shock because I was sure I'd miscarry, then I was convinced the scans would show up something terribly wrong, throughout the whole PG I was just waiting for something to go wrong.

Nothing did, as you all know.

As my due date got closer I became more and more anxious about the birth. Nothing had gone wrong during the PG so the only thing left was that I'd have a stillbirth.
I was absolultey sure that my worst fear would happen. I was terrified....I know I kind of told you all about this big fear but it was nothing to what I was feeling.
It consumed me.

So by the time I was actually in labour my mind was a mess. When I got to the pushing stage I was simply to scared to push any harder because at that moment I'd find out if it was going to happen. If I kept him inside it couldn't happen and I'd never have to know.
Of course I knew I could push harder because I'd done it all before, 3 times before but I just couldn't do it. It was like I was fighting against my own body and the need to push.

It was mad mad mad experience.

Somehow I did manage to push his head out and he cried instantly, his just his head sticking out (!!!) and I vividly remeber thinking "Ohhh thank god he's crying...it hasn't happened...my baby is alive" I felt like he was telling me it was all ok, it hadn't happened. Before the next contraction even started I pushed out the rest of him. The relief I felt at that moment turned the air blue, I'll never forget that feeling.

So there is it. The horrific birth I had was all down to my head telling me it's all going to go wrong and had absolutley nothing to do with how big he was or how much water I was carrying.

George is 6 weeks old now and he is a absolute delight, many many people have asked me if he's good and TBH it's all been so lovely since we came home that I wouldn't know if he was a difficult baby or not. Nothing phases me about all the newborn stuff, nothing is a shock and nothing is hardwork...its all been perfect. I'm so glad to not be PG anymore but on the same token George is such a gorgeous baby I'd do it all again in a heartbeat (it won't be happening though!!)

I look back at myself and the way I was when PG and scratch my head...I was mad, I wonder if I really did have a proper recognised problem because the differnec I feel betwwen then and now is shocking.

I'll stop now, I just wanted to tell you all and also to get it down in balck and white.

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BarryTook · 28/02/2007 18:02

oh lth

i actually had no idea you were going through half of this

well done you on proving yourself wrong

(tis tutter btw)