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Why do I care what people think?

(5 Posts)
Newmom2b Wed 10-Dec-14 03:28:59

I had a emcs with DS as he was breech and my waters broke before my elcs date. This time I get to choose vbac or elsc.
I change my mind literally every day and its causing many sleepless nights, hence this post at 3.22am!
I shouldn't care what people think but it really winds me up how many people have assumed I will chose elcs as the 'easy way out' so to speak and comments such as ''my sister/friend/cousin etc was in labour for days etc, choose the elcs''.....
I would rather a vbac, to be out of hospital same day and be able to pick up my ds and drive (provided a straightforward birth of course)!
Sorry. Not sure what I wanted from this post, just a rant I suppose! X

MyBalletShoes Wed 10-Dec-14 03:36:44

It's hard when everyone has an opinion on what you 'should' do but I guess that's the world of parenting. Everyone else knows better!

FWIW I don't think an elcs is the easy way out as recovery with another little one at home can be tough.

It sounds like you're thinking really carefully about your options and I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you and your family. grin

RedToothBrush Wed 10-Dec-14 09:44:54

If you would rather have a vbac, go for it. Have the courage of your convictions and listen to your gut feeling. If your vbac doesn't work out, you know what an EMCS is like so you know what you are picking.

It sounds like the only reason you would have an ELCS is because of others. Which makes me think you'd regret it in the long run.

TwoKidsAndCounting Wed 10-Dec-14 09:52:19

There is no east answer and certainly no easy choice, your going to be giving birth to a new life, whether that be elcs or natural delivery, both are with risks and potentially long recoveries. Everyone however will have some sort of opinion having been through child birth, listen to their stories, there will be horror ones and there will be beautiful ones, they may help you with your decision they may not.

I've had both a natural birth and 3 elcs's there after, ELCS is no easy route and had my first birth been as straight forward as I hoped I would no way have gone with CS. For me the recovery with other small people at home is too much.

Make your decision based on what is best for you and your baby and your family.

Good luck. smile

theborrower Wed 10-Dec-14 11:39:56

I will happily punch anyone that says CSs are easy options - they don't know what they're talking about!

I had an EMCS followed by a VBAC. I had the option of aiming for VBAC or going for ELCS, and I found it really hard to decide what to do, I was in knots! I understand that it's difficult. I had an appointment with a mat psych, who helped me understand what it was about my EMCS that upset me, and why trying to VBAC was important to me. I also read a book called The VBAC Handbook (google it, you can get it via Amazon) which was an informative read. You don't say why you were booked in for an ELCS the first time around, but I'm assuming that because you're being given the choice, there's not a strong medical reason that you need a CS this time around.

I aimed for VBAC because there wasn't a medical reason for me NOT to (my first birth ended in EMCS because of undiagnosed breech), and I wanted a shorter recovery time. I know that not everyone has a straightforward vaginal birth, but for me the difference in recovery was HUGE, I was glad that I had one. I couldn't believe that I could walk to the shower afterwards (!!) it was amazing. The recovery really was a massive difference, particularly because I had my older child to go home to.

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