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Ok, another thread on requesting a ELCS, but please help!

(13 Posts)
loopylouu Tue 04-Feb-14 11:10:34

I am so confused about what is going on at the moment.

I am 32 weeks pregnant with my second child. I had a section with my first 11 years ago.

I saw a consultant last week to discuss birth options as I want another section. She had absolutely no problem with this and has even booked a provisional date for me.

However, this is not set in stone as I have to see a psychologist at the hospital first. She could say no apparently, even though the consultant says yes. How can this be right? The consultant said it's just the hospitals policy and that it's in the hands of the psychologist.

It sounds madness to me? Has anyone else had this? I am terrified she'll say no.

Also, the consultant told me to make sure I go in there stating my reasons and being sure that this is what I want.

My reasons are:

1) My son will be 12 this year. I have longed for another baby all this time, but was told when he was born that I would probably have trouble getting a repeat section. This has caused me a lot of heartache over the years and ultimatley lead to the breakdown of my first marriage (ex wanted more children). I am 35 soon, so it was now or never for another child with my new dh.

2) I have scrimped and saved and gone without for the past 7 years in order to save for a private section to guarantee one. I have literally had nothing in that time, no clothes, not been out etc. Every penny of my limited income that I could save has gone towards it. Thats how much I want it. However, my father is elderly and is unwell. I have had to dig into it to pay for his care, I had to move due to divorce etc. I now only have just enough to pay for private care without an contingencies. But this is all I have. Spending this all on private healthcare for the birth will probably lead to the end of my current marriage as my dh is unwilling to spend every penny we have on a private birth (and more, most are booked so now I will have to get into debt to pay for one) when we are struggling and living in an inadequate (to small) rented property.

^^ these two have caused me a lot of stress over the years and over the

3) I have read up on VBAC vs repeat sections and I believe that another section is the best way for me. I am aware of the risks of a section - just as I am aware of the risk of VBAC. I have been looking into this for the past ten plus years, it has caused me to delay having another much wanted child.

4) My son was ill after birth - his lungs were not checked for fluid and they ended up collapsing. The consultant who has agreed my section has agreed to get this baby checked by a ped at birth and I trust her implicitly.

5) I recovered well from my section and it was a positive experience for me.

Is there anything else I need to add? I feel very strongly that another section is the best way forward for me. Shall I mention the first two reasons? They have caused me so much stress and continue to do so during this pregnancy.

My first section was elective. It was because I was due to give birth at the hospital my mother died in when I was a child, I didn't know how I would cope in labour. I also had no support - my ex didn't want to be at the birth, I have no other family, I was 22, my friends were at uni, no one wanted to help. Ex would not pay for a doula or any other help. I was also assaulted by a consultant at 30 weeks. I was given an internal examination against my will on a ward in full view of other patients and visitors - she refused to shut the curtains. I was traumatised by it, so much so that they agreed a section that day - more to stop me from kicking up a fuss and making a compliant than anything.

moodster3 Tue 04-Feb-14 23:41:17

I'm sure you will still have your section and it's just a formality that the hospital has to follow.I've never had a section but My older sister who is now 36 had her third section last Christmas. She did however get sterilized not long after as they advised that having more children would be dangerous for her with her already having had those three sections. Don't worry too much please :-)

RedToothBrush Wed 05-Feb-14 10:00:38

You'll get your section. Its a formality. You have enough reasons to justify it. This consultant is just covering their arse. Nothing more.

Btw glad that the meeting with the consultant went well. I told you the other one was just trying to put you off and it seems to be a well used tactic.

loopylouu Wed 05-Feb-14 10:29:26

Yeah, I got lucky and I saw the consultant I wanted - the private one who was told I wasn't allowed to see on the nhs. I was just lucky on the day, I waited in the hospital 7 hours to see her! She was aghast that the first consultant hasn't refered me to the pshycology department.

RedToothBrush Wed 05-Feb-14 11:02:43

Honestly, I think she's just covering herself, particularly since you've had issues with idiots being obstructive so far.

oscarwilde Thu 06-Feb-14 10:43:40

You've already had a CS, I don't think you'll have any problem getting another one in my experience provided your baby cooperates, mine didn't

loopylouu Thu 06-Feb-14 10:58:25

That's what I thought too oscar, but apparently it's he hospitals policy not to agree on a section just because you have had one previously.

I guess I'll see next week.

Snobble Fri 07-Feb-14 13:22:55

Im in the same boat, i saw my consultant at 31 weeks and he has referred me to the midwife for a more 'in depth' talk about it before he sees me again a week after this. I dont see her till the 24th and i cannot stop worrying about it!!! I really want my ELECS for my own reasons, i just hope to god they dont turn me down :-(

Tranquilitybaby Sat 08-Feb-14 07:45:32

The NICE guidelines say that it's about maternal choice when it comes to how you would like to give birth of possible. I'm sure you'll have no problem getting your section.

RedToothBrush Sat 08-Feb-14 09:29:28

Tranquility, unfortunately the guidelines don't mean shit in certain hospitals as they are under no obligation to follow them.

stokiemum62 Mon 10-Feb-14 22:27:40

NICE guidance says you should see a psychologist if you have an 'irrational' fear of a vaginal birth. You do not have an irrational fear, you have made an informed, logical decision based on your previous history, as such you can decline to see the psychologist, specialist midwife and anyone else who wants to change your mind.
If your consultant still declines your request ask that be put in writing that your reasonable request for a repeat section as per NICE guidelines was refused and that in the event of adverse outcome for yourself or your child either mental or physical as a result of a forced vaginal delivery against your will you will hold the consultant personally responsible. That should do the trick smile

Tranquilitybaby Wed 12-Feb-14 11:29:58

RedToothBrush as long as you have made an unfurled choice and present them with a confident, well explained account of your choices, they will be hard pushed not to agree in the most part.

The AIMS booklet "Am I Allowed?" Is well worth a read about your rights to requesting the birth you want.

Tranquilitybaby Wed 12-Feb-14 11:30:14

RedToothBrush as long as you have made an informed choice and present them with a confident, well explained account of your choices, they will be hard pushed not to agree in the most part.

The AIMS booklet "Am I Allowed?" Is well worth a read about your rights to requesting the birth you want.

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