What a mess...(17 Posts)
Since having dd2 (third baby) on Tuesday morning, my list of pregnancy ailments has (rather than improving as I had hoped) spiralled out of control.
- my vulvar varicosities are still there.
- I have stitches for my 2nd degree tear.
- I can't seem to poo (have now got some movicol but still nothing)
- my afterpains are ridiculous.
- I still have piles
- my nipples are covered in blisters.
- worst of all my spd/pgp is atrocious, feels much worse than before delivery and I can barely lift my baby.
All the above are making me feel like I just can't cope. Dh is being really great but what about when he's back at work. I don't feel physically fit enough even to care for one child let alone three! Feeling so despondent, can anyone give me any light at the end of the tunnel...?
iirc (have only done this once!) day 4 is when your milk comes in and everything feels like shit.
Sofa. Remote, paracetamol and kindle/smartphone/book to hand. DH to provide a constant stream of drinks and snacks in between entertaining older dc and getting rid of visitors while you spend the entire day skin to skin and bonding.
I had forgotten how bad the after pains were with dd, when I had ds they were worse. At one point I really thought there was something seriously wrong with me. I then heard they get worse after each of (not to mention they can be more intense when bf anyway)
It will get better, all of it. It's harder with2+ because you still have to carry on. Is there anyone who can help take a little pressure off.
You need to try and rest. It took me about 10 days to even begin to recover physically from birth. After that it happened pretty fast. Baby blues, breast feeding, the shock of a new baby and the general aftermath of 9months of pregnancy and then the birth take a bit longer to recover from.
Feet up, get as much practical help as possible. I'm not talking hoards or visitors all wanting a piece of the baby I'm talking house work, food prep, entertaining other dc! Plenty of pain killers and cake
Maybe even a few days of front door locked, phone off the hook and live in your family bubble.
I know its frustrating after pregnancy but it does come with time. If I remember right day 4-8 were shit.
Do as little as possible but also keep getting up for a little walk around the house so you don't seize up. You will heal much faster with plenty of rest. I was too active after I had DS1 and it took me ages to recover physically. After DS3 I was much more cautious initially and got back to being up and about more quickly. If you're still bad after paternity leave finishes could he take a week of annual leave too?
I expected to feel better instantly after ds2 arrived a month ago, but sciatica, afterpains etc actually took a good fortnight to go away. It's bloody hard. Just be nice to yourself and accept all help offered.
If your nipples are very sore can you get some RL help with latch? You shouldn't have blisters! You could try with different BF positions to change the pressure points. Wait for the wide mouth every time and if latch is very painful, take baby off and start again. There will be some pain while blisters heal but it can be improved.
Hope you are getting well looked after. Congratulations
My DS3 is now 3 months old. I thought I had this breeding lark off pat but ooooh noooo! I wanted gas and air for the after pains plus after bf his 2 siblings with no problem he have me blisters and made my nips bleed. What's that about? I can promise you though that there is light at the end of the tunnel and I was fully back to normal and in the park with all 3 by the time he was about ten days old. Congratulations!!
PS I too had SPD with this one but not the other two. Weird. It's completely gone now but do make sure that your MW is aware of the pain you're in. I found regular paracetamol and ibuprofen really helped
Thank you for all the kind responses, I am going with the advice of resting and have decided that it doesn't matter if the house is a tip, I'm just going to ignore all that and have a relaxing day with dd2. Just hoping movicol starts to work soon...anyone got any idea how long that might take?
Xigris - same for me, I never had spd before this pregnancy. Did yours go straight after birth or take a bit of time? My pelvis literally feels like its in about a million pieces right now.
After Ds1, I had horrendous piles and stitches and voltarol suppositories were fab. Otherwise alternate ibuprofen and paracetamol, ice for your varicosities, and Cbeebies for the other 2! It will get better. I remember on about day 6, kneeling on the floor cos I couldn't sit down and crying- my poor dad didn't know where to put himself! I have 3 now, Cbeebies and reading lots of books were my lifesavers with the other 2 xxx
Movicol will work better if you can drink loads. Otherwise lactulose might be better
wash my SPD did improve after the birth but I did still feel as though my hips were about to dislocate and I had far more aches and pains this time around than with the others. It was all really strange as I had no problems at all with the other 2 whatsoever so it was all a bit of a shock! DS3 was also incredibly grumpy for the first ten days and had a latch like a
bloody Dyson, I honestly thought my nipples were going to fall off! I too was really worried about how I was going to cope when DH went back to work as I'd have to do the school hobble run with DS1 plus cope with a very lively DS2. Thankfully it all sorted itself out and we managed just fine. I agree that for now just rest and take pain killers. Stuff the housework!
I'm expecting DC2 so don't have any experience with more than one child at the mo. But I just want to say, make sure you are eating nutritious food. Chicken stew where the bones are boiled up to make the stock and with lots of veggies is great postpartum. Hope you feel better soon. xxx
Oh, and have you tried nipple shields? If direct latching is too painful using a nipple shield is better than avoiding a sore nipple altogether. But they can cause nipple confusion so only use it as a last resort. If it was me I would see a lactation consultant asap. It sounds so painful.
I remember being so much in pain when trying to stand and change the baby's nappy, even walking to the loo or making a drink was agony.
The only thing I can say is that it really won't last. It is horrible to go through but luckily doesn't last forever. I stupidly didn't take painkillers or rest like I should have, because I was determined to try and keep going, but I simply couldn't walk that far and so had to keep sitting down which was very inconvenient (not to mention painful).
If you can manage it I found a chiropractor helped, even just temporarily. I really hope everything settles down for you very soon.
I have a vague recollection of my SPD suddenly going from "woooh it's gone" to "oww shit my hips" about the same point for a couple of days - indeed when I was in for the really long duration with my first daughter I actually asked them to grab me the post-natal physio when she was in on her rounds just to ask what the hell was going on... basically she concluded (I think there was a smidge of corporate arse covering as well as they didn't give a shit about how they handled my legs when they had to do a spinal on me) that because I'd been so limited for a period of time, it was just going to take me time to get that core strength back, gave me a few exercises to do (of differing levels of practicality - I wasn't going to climb onto the hospital ward bed and proceed to shove my arse in the air) to help improve it and it did die down again within a couple of days.
I don't think walking on the hospital ward hard floors had helped my case either.
Was in pain about a similar point after having DD2 recently as well - I think there's an element of feeling the pain and heaviness has gone, and then it comes back at you slightly. If it helps -I'd recovered enough to (stupidly) walk a 3 mile round trip to the children's centre up a stupid hill of death by the end of week2 post-birth (yes I regretted it later).
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