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Labour - a spectator sport?

(13 Posts)
Kia Fri 18-Jan-02 19:12:40

My friend's partner cannot understand why my friend does not want his whole family in the slips whilst she gives birth to their child. To a certain extent she is under pressure because another daughter-in-law in the family has done so with what appears to be coach loads of relative present! I'm of the opinion like YSL(?) that less is more in this case, and I cannot understand any woman who has had a child herself wanting to watch unless requested or in there in a professional capacity! What do you think?

Cfr Fri 18-Jan-02 19:35:24

Yuk, I can't think of anything worse than having all my relatives watching me! Is she expected to send out invitations? Will they all turn up with camcorders? Or how about a live webcam for those that can't make it???

I certainly wouldn't want to go and watch someone else go through labour either, unless it was a close friend or sister and they really wanted me for support. Very strange.

janh Fri 18-Jan-02 20:04:29

Nononononono!!!!
I like your use of "in the slips" though, Kia - to catch the baby when it comes flying out?

MalmoMum Fri 18-Jan-02 20:48:37

Do they need to check that's it's the real King of France and not a milkmaid's baby?

They could have an Oscars ceremony: best swearing scene; most convincing contraction grunt; who's got the crochet hook?; I would have gone for pain relief now; the moment you could tell she had gone into transition; guess the weight of the afterbirth...

What refreshments would be appropriate to serve at such an occasion?

Pupuce Fri 18-Jan-02 22:54:41

I also cannot imagine having an audience... Michel Odent (the famous French specialist on birth and water birth) even suggested last year that it would be best not to have partners present only because he has noticed it inhibits the mothers when they are in labour.... imagine how inhibited you might be if your MIL and FIL and the rest were to look in. And who provides the commentary ???
Can she not tell him that she wants it to be a thing between the 2 of them or that she isn't comfortable to be in this sort of pain and have an audience. I can't believe the hospital will agree to this many people in the room !

Kia Sat 19-Jan-02 00:24:38

I tried this one 'tell them all that's great, because it's better if they get their slice of placenta whilst its hot'!!!

I understand a man not understanding,if you follow my thought, but other women?!!

Just to let you know things have been sorted now, but just to have a bit of a chat about it in case there are any other unsuspecting mums to be out there whose in-laws are expecting invitations to the big night out!!!

Joe1 Sat 19-Jan-02 05:55:45

Oh no, couldnt have that. I had dh and my sister (because she is a paramedic and wanted her there just in case for back up on decisions etc). She wasnt there all the time, popped out and got things to eat for dh etc and I wasnt alone when he needed the loo etc, she was also the taxi (she will join dh when we finally have no2).
Dh's cousin had the babys father, her mum and two aunties, fun.

robinw Sat 19-Jan-02 08:10:41

message withdrawn

pamina Sat 19-Jan-02 09:31:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kia Sat 19-Jan-02 20:00:53

My advice was to enlist the midwife's help if all else failed, but when it actually came to it, she didn't need to. I had mine in a teaching hospital and yet they still asked if one of the trainees could attend the labour. Although they said the trainee had attended one birth previously my beloved ended up holding her hand as well as mine because she was soo emotional at the end!! So sweet. I suppose at the end of the day etc etc you don't really care if Russell Crowe walks in the middle of it all when you get to the push stage, but I wanted my beloved in there with me because I trust him 101% to make decisions for me if I couldn't do so for whatever reason. (I'm of the opinion that if something goes wrong it's far better to have your 100% trusty person be there as the labour unfolds and bear witness if you like, than for them to be sitting outside dependent on what the team remembers to tell you afterwards. I don't mean that in a derogatory way, I mean they are busy doing their job, particularly in an emergency situation and don't have time to tell you everything.) But! I would never have pushed anyone into the labour room if they didn't want to go. My beloved wasn't too sure, but he now says it was the most wonderful experience and he cannot understand how anyone could intentionally miss it. But he didn't want his family in there with us!

ChanelNo5 Sun 20-Jan-02 09:11:22

Pamina - I had a hunky doctor who did my stitches after the birth of my youngest - very embarrassing - poor young lad was probably put off women for life!

pamina Mon 21-Jan-02 09:04:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chelle Tue 22-Jan-02 00:20:22

My MIL was present at the birth of our first child...more by default that design!

DH was out on the farm and wasn't expecting any action for some time (I was induced due to pre-eclampsia and they had told us that it would be likely they would need several attmepts before anything started to happen).

MIL had happened to drop in for a visit when I started having contractions (she did not know I was being induced that day, I had been in hospital for several weeks already). She immediately phoned DH who eventually turned up 2 hours later and nearly missed the whole thing seeing as the entire labour was 2 hours and 50 minutes. I never, ever would have chosen to have my MIL present during labour but I was extremely happy she was there for me as it was very frightening going into my first labour without my support person there. As I had been in hospital for so long before delivery, there was a trainee ob/gyn who had asked if he could be present for my delivery and I had declined (being shy!), during my labour (the pushing part anyway) I was certain that I couldn't have cared less who was present and that a marching band could have come throught the room and I wouldn't have noticed a thing!

Sorry...have been waffling, but the point is, I would never plan to have in-laws present for labour (in fact am trying to work out a way to gently ley MIL know that we don't want her present for the arrival of baby no. 2!) but once in 2nd stage labour, I really couldn't have cared who was present.

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