Homebirth and noise

[Downbytheocean]

I am planning a home birth, 38wks today, and felt I would like ds1 to stay at home undisturbed if I go into labour at night and then we'll call his granny in the early hours to be here and collect him when he wakes. A friend has expressed concern that he will be woken by noise/screaming. This just isn't something I'd envisaged! I have done lots of reading, a natal hypnotherapy course and listened to the cd religiously and I thought i would possibly be able to groan through it, rather than wailing/screaming. Am I being naive? Ds will be out of the house unless it's night time, his bedroom is at the front of the house upstairs and I would be in the extension at the very back of the house so there's distance between us. Would you recommend calling MIL as soon as labour starts regardless of the time? Ds is my primary concern, i would hate him to get
distressed if he heard me in pain. I had an epidural last time so not sure how vocal I could be but I am really focussed on being more in control this time!

[BellaOfTheBalls]

IME (2 natural births, one with no pain relief at all) the whole screaming in pain thing is confined to the TV & films. If you are full on screaming you are not really using your energy efficiently

Several friends of mine (6-8+) have had subsequent home births and haven't woken older DCs. In one case older DD was woken up to come & meet her new sibling.

[Downbytheocean]

Thanks, i hope to be focussing my energy on each contraction rather than screaming through it.
Last time i had a diamorphine and an epidural as mw said she could tell when someone wouldn't be able to cope. I now feel this had to do with them being understaffed as it was a bank holiday. I think I was suffering a massive adrenaline rush upon arrival at the unit and finding out I was in established labour, DH being sent to get my bags and finding myself alone and no chance to use the pool as i had hoped. I didn't scream at any point prior to the drugs at 7cm.

[McKayz]

I'm planning a homebirth and if I labour overnight then my DSs will be staying in bed. But DS1 would sleep through a bomb going off under his pillow.

[franke]

I spent most of my labour at home with dc3. I was very loud but the other dc slept through it okay. Not sure about the neighbours though....

[RillaBlythe]

My DD age 3 slept through me birthing in the room below. I did some shouting during pushing but it didn't rouse her. We had my mum there in case DD woke up though.

[startail]

My earliest memory is Dad sending me back to bed and some how I know that was the morning DSIS was born.

DD1 slept through until moments before her sister was born.

I heard her door as I gave the last two pushes and remember thinking.

"please go to the loo like you always do"

She did and came in to see her sister aged about 3 mins old

(took no notice of me delivering the placenta, she was 3)

[hairtwiddler]

I had a homebirth for ds in the room directly next door to dd. She went to bed at 7, didn't stir and woke up to a new brother. I wasn't loud until the very end from what I remember. But lots of people arriving and leaving, phone calls, shower on, she still didn't wake up? Is Ds a sound sleeper?
My midwife asked if I wanted to wake her to see the birth. Last thing I wanted was a grumpy roused 3yr old!
Good luck. It was a greatexperience for us.

[nannyl]

i had a homebirth

i was silent during labour, other than during transition

during the birth i made a small noise, but not loud

i had planned to be silent with my hypnobirthing as i didnt want to scare my baby.

had a natural home birth with no pain relief (and hardly any pain either)

[RationalBrain]

I made an enormous amount of noise, dd1 slept through it all.

Not sure about the neighbours though

I would plan to call your mil anyway, just so you aren't worrying about taking care of your ds, and you can focus entirely on yourself. Good luck.

[flagnogbagnog]

I havnt made any noise during my 3 labours. Might have something to do with being too busy puffing on the gas and air. I have to say though, every time I've been in labour (all hospital births) I've been able to hear another woman absolutely screaming! So some do. But I expect if you managed to 7cm before your epidural quietly you'll be a pretty quiet lady x

[VinoEsmeralda]

With dc1 I was v silent and in control. He was born at 4.17 am in our bath.

Dc2 on the other hand was v painful and I went from 3cm to 10cm and pushed her out in 10minutes. She was also born in the bath. Our neighbour 2 houses down heard me scream and she was in back garden whilst I was in the front of our house .

Both labours were 8.5 hrs from start to finish....

[twolittlebundles]

DD2 was born amongst a storm with thunder that shook the house so much we all thought it was an earthquake :o.

We had 3 midwives, parents, DP and I in the house for 12 hours and I made a bunch of noise as well. DD! slept through the whole thing and woke to a new sister just as we settled on the couch.

You'll be fine- hope you have a wonderful birth!

[openerofjars]

I'm planning a home birth, too, and my mum is going to either come and get DS or, if it's the middle of the night, come and be on standby in the spare room in case he wakes up. To be honest, I'm more concerned about him hearing me being really arsey/sweary and picking up some choice new phrases. Also, he gets upset when he sees other people crying, so I think him seeing me in pain would worry him. Or he would come in, bonk me on the head with a small plastic dinosaur and demand breakfast. Neither would make him my first choice of birth partner.

[Downbytheocean]

Thanks for all the replies. I will get MIL to come whenever labour starts then. I planned to hold off until morning if labour starts during the night but ds1, aged 3, isn't a great sleeper still, often awake two or three times a night and it would be no good if DH has to leave to settle him or I create disturbance! Also now realise I'll need MIL there if I have to transfer to hospital, pretty crucial. Have spoken to her today on the strength of the above advice so much appreciated.

[TheWoollybacksWife]

DD1 and DD2 (then 12 and 7) slept through most of my homebirth. They woke for breakfast just as DS was crowning and met him for the first time just before they left for school.

DD1 did say afterwards that she had a dream about Darth Vader - must have been influenced by me sucking in the gas and air

[iwantbrie]

My DC's slept through my labour, DD was born in the early hours and they met her at breakfast!
I couldn't have the gas & air for the majority of the birth as it made me sick so I ended up doing it without pain relief. I howled a little tbh but they didn't stir at all.
My poor neighbour however heard everything, I swear our walls are made of paper & nothing else... Lovely bloke that he is didn't bat an eylid next time I saw him, I tried to apologise but he just waved it away.