Stupid question...feeding midwives?!

[PrincessJenga]

I'm expecting my first baby any day now and am booked in for a homebirth. We've just been & bought shower curtains, water spray etc and are planning to build a bit of a 'nest' in our living room (where I intend to labour and birth) this evening. I also have emergency hospital bag by the door & DP is currently in the kitchen batch cooking spag Bol for us to eat in the first few days after baby arrives.

The cooking smell got me thinking... Should we have stocked up on food for midwives too? Presumably they'll be with us for a long-ish time. Tea & biscuits isn't going to cut it is it?

[nannyl]

I too am planning a home birth

and have written it into my birthplan that they are free to help themselves to as many drinks / snacks etc etc that they want... and if OH is making something for himself i'll expect him to offer midwife(s) some too.

Not sure if its the done thing or not, but is she is here helping me have my baby, then she's as welcome as any other visitor to eat the food in my kitchen!

Im hoping when the time comes to have a full fruit bowl, and biscuits / homemade flap jack, toast etc etc avliable too.

• i went through a phase with HG of only being able to drink 1 drink for about 24 hours then moving on, so gave every flavour known to man open that need drinking..... and im now addicted to plain water lol

[EauRouge]

I dunno, my MWs cleared off pretty sharpish after DD2 was born. I think DH may have offered them a sandwich at some point. The head MW lived around the corner though so she'd nipped home for dinner once she realised it was going to be a long labour. With HBs they tend to only stick around once you are in established labour so they won't starve. Sounds like you're well prepared, good luck

[PrincessJenga]

Good plan Nannyl. The fruit bowl is already full (mostly of pineapple!) so I'll make some flapjacks tomorrow and stick a loaf of bread next to the toaster for anyone to help themselves to. I'm a 'feeder' by instinct and would hate for anyone in my home to not feel well taken care of, but doubt i'll be any state to prepare anything! DP is very domesticated, but tends to forget to eat in busy/stressful situations so I can't trust him to feed himself never mind the midwives! Thanks EauRouge, I don't feel very prepared, but I can't think of anyhing else i need to do (hence asking daft questions on here!)

[StiffyByng]

My midwives were very clear in the run up to my homebirth that being fed was very important to them! One of them had a heartbreaking story of arriving at her third birth in a row and having to ask for food (she doesn't normally, as she waits to be offered, but was desperate) and being handed a packet of cream crackers. Another had once had to go to Nando's for a takeaway.

MrByng spent a long time planning what to cook, and ended up doing a large batch of stew. In the end, I went two weeks overdue and we ate the stew ourselves as it seemed very unlikely we'd be doing the HB thing. DD arrived the morning of the induction and the midwives were only here for five hours in the end, with the birth at 8.30am, but they happily accepted a bacon sandwich. Oh, and tea throughout.

[PrincessJenga]

[EauRouge]

Bacon sandwiches! It's possible that my DH cooked bacon sandwiches. I can't remember, I might have overdone the G&A when I was being stitched up

[PorkChopSter]

My birth plans have said things like "Remind DH to make you a cup of tea" and listed the location of frozen lasagne and biscuits. During early labour with DD I made a cake and baked bread at 2am But due to timings the midwives have only had tea and toast.

[fantus]

If you have a good relationship with your midwife why don't you ask her what usually happens or even better what she would like?

I have to admit that when I had my homebirth it never even crossed my mind. I think it's because every time my midwife visited she always had a packed lunch in her bag. I did make sure to have plenty of lovely biscuits and tea and coffee which they most definately had after DD was born while they finished writing up their notes. Although in fairness, DD arrived less than 45 minutes after they did so they wouldn't have had time for anything else anyway

[PrincessJenga]

I'd love to have a good relationship with my midwife but I've only met her three times. I've met five others once each. They all seem perfectly professional / pleasant, but there's been no chance to build a relationship!

I have no idea who will come when I go into labour (whoever's on call) so I'll stick with the tea / toast / flapjacks ideas

[thisisyesterday]

mine didn't want anything, although they were offered plenty!

but then I went into labour in the morning and was done by lunchtime, so I guess they didn't really need anything.
one of them wanted me to eat her snickers bar from her car becasue i was getting worn out lol

i would say, have stuff available (sarnies, cakes, biscuits) but I wouldn't go over the top because in all likelihood you won't need to use it.

i think mine did have a cup of tea after ds2 was born, and one of them may have had a biscuit

[gallicgirl]

We fed ours sandwiches and they were very grateful for the nice box of biscuits left over from Christmas after it was all over.

They also enjoyed freshly brewed coffee.

Poor DP was running around making cups of tea for about 5 or 6 midwives just an hour or so after baby was born.

Oh, and I think they might have had some of the wine gums that were there to give me energy during labour but I couldn't eat anything in the end.

[Awomancalledhorse]

Planning a home birth here too (around Christmas), is it the 'done thing' to tip the MW or give them a token gift?

[ShowOfHands]

My midwives turned down almost all food (and they were with me from mid morning until I transferred in at around 5pm) but dh did bake an apple pie and they had some. They had their own drinks but I think one of them did have a cup of tea at some point. I spent a lot of time going "OOOH OWWWWW AHHHHHHH, ARE YOU SUUUUUUUUURE YOU DON'T WANT A SAND-FUCKING-WICH? AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH".

[gallicgirl]

I was pretty much like that SOH.

The wee student MW wouldn't eat anything because she was planing to get a take-away curry on her way home. She must have been doubting the wisdom of that decision when she was still around at 9 pm (arrived at lunchtime!). No wonder she was skinny - I was just worried she would pass out.

Awomancalledhorse Giving a gift is totally up to you and I'm sure it's not expected. Wait and see how they perform on the day and get something afterwards if you want. I sent flowers when DD was about 3 weeks old but my CMW was amazing and even came twice a day initially. (hopefully it wasn't because she thought I couldn't cope!!)

[MindtheGappp]

All you need to offer the midwives is tea/coffee/juice/water and some biscuits.

[greyfurrybaby]

My midwife made it very clear what she wanted. She asked us to make sure me had bread, jam, bananas and plenty of tea with access to a toaster and a kettle. She told us she like to have a quick snack to give her energy before I reached the pushing stage. As it happens I had different midwives attend to me and they were content with shortbread fingers and cups of tea. One sat on my birthing ball munching away (she was 36 weeks pregnant) and the other sat on my stairs for a few hours while I was hanging over the bannisters.

[JenniL1977]

My midwives were round last week to sort my HB and told me that they are very partial to cups of tea, biscuits, and if they've been there all night with you, a bacon butty :)
I think it's just common courtesy to feed them, but they're not going to expect a roast dinner.
Good luck for your birth :)

[PrincessJenga]

Thank you all. I just got back from sainsbury's with bread for toast, nice biccies, bacon, eggs, milk etc. I also have lots of baking ingredients and a well briefed DP. He now knows his role is to calm me down and make tea not mess around with his iPad or bang on about music