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Did anyone have a home birth and not like it?

(24 Posts)
PipCarrier Mon 23-May-11 13:26:46

Was all set up for a home birth until last week when my platelets crashed. Then got used to the idea of going into the MLU at the local hospital instead where I had DC1. However, most recent bloods now show platelets are at a safe level and home birth can go ahead again....BUT I'd kind of got used to the thought of going in and now don't know what to do.

I know I'll like the MLU as had an amazing birth there before. So I was just curious if anyone had a hb and didn't like it and if not, why not?

I don't want horror stories though please - ie. things going terribly wrong, ending in transfer etc - I just mean if anyone didn't like it for other reasons.

PorkChopSter Mon 23-May-11 13:35:25

No, I liked all of mine grin

NoWayNoHow Mon 23-May-11 13:39:49

Can't help with the home birth experience as DS was born in hospital, but ultimately you need to do what you're going to feel most comfortable with so that you and your LO can have the best birth experience possible.

If you are leaning towards the MLU, I would think that's totally understandable given that you've done it before and it went well. I guess is sticking with what you know.

If you think howeevr, that you're going to regret not at least trying for a home birth (for example, if this is your last planned DC), then maybe just stick with the idea.

Ultimately, where you have your child is just another part of the birth plan (although one that involves slightly more logistical issues!) - it should be changeable and fluid and help you achieve the best birth you can have.

PipCarrier Mon 23-May-11 13:40:24

Thanks - I am expecting those are the only kind of responses there are going to be to this question and that will make it certain in my mind again smile

MooM00 Mon 23-May-11 13:56:36

I had dc3 at home (dc2 was born in the local hospital and it was fine) and I always had it in mind that I would go in to hospital if that's what I felt like doing, although I didn't mention this to the mw. I didn't feel like anything of the sort, I wasn't going anywhere,home was where I wanted to be.
You can change your mind and transfer in (or just ring them and say you're on your way) at any time.

PorkChopSter Mon 23-May-11 22:06:05

I guess you can always change your mind at home & go in, but it won't be so easy to get out of hospital mid-labour & go home!

jm2 Tue 24-May-11 10:07:37

I had a home birth with my second. It was straight forward, kind of long and pretty painful (back to back) No dramas. However, i do often read other people's home birth stories and think how lovely they sound-but mine certainly was never like that. It was fine, and the very best bit was being able to get into my own bath afterward and use the phone, eat whatever I liked from the fridge etc, but it wasn't an amazing, life changing experience as some people descibe it. I am 39 weeks pg with my third and still undecided as to whether to have it at home or in hospital-I think if I had a close MLU I would probably go there myself, but I am very near to the local hospital so better to have a home birth or hospital one. My situation is probably different to yours though in so much as I had appendicitis 2 months ago so had to spend a lot of time in the local hospital having the appendix removed and then recovering so am kind of in 'medical mode' already; and having been in an almighty amount of pain in the very recent past which is probably skewing my view of the hb!

GothMummy Tue 24-May-11 10:40:13

Yes, I had a home birth with my first, I have no intention of repeating the experience (which was at times very frightening) and am going to hospital for my second.

I was very fed up every time a visiting midwife said "so, you had a lovely home birth then...." No actually... it wasnt lovely, for me it was lonely and frightening and painful and it turned out that I wanted the re-assurance of montoring equipment etc. DH was useless as he went into shock and my midwives seemed very uncertain what to do with me.

DS was born at home but there were complications afterwards with me and I had to transfer to hospital anyway, the bathroom where DS was born got covered in blood and I had to do the cleaning up afterwards when I finally got home from hospital. The living room, which was covered in plastic sheeting where i had intended to give birth was spotless though! The mess alone would be one reason why I would not give birth at home again!

PipCarrier Tue 24-May-11 12:53:59

I have decided to stick with the original plan of a home birth and then transfer to MLU if I want to. My first birth was really quick and that's one of the main reasons for choosing home birth this time, is that the midwife thinks it will be even quicker and could result in an uncomfortable (or worse!!) car journey. But as you've all pointed out, I will still have the option right up to the last minute.

I would never have considered it for my first gothmummy - having no idea what it would be like or how I would cope with it, I wanted the security of medical back up, but I think second time you know more what to expect and that you can deal with it. Of course there are no guarantees and if it turns out to be drastically different I can transfer in. That's really bad about the cleaning, I've heard all positive things about how good the midwives are at cleaning up afterwards. Maybe because yours was an emergency situation it was different? I have to say even in MLU the first time there wasn't a spot of blood anywhere to be seen because they're so good at clearing up as they go along.

MooM00 Tue 24-May-11 13:14:50

I think if the mw has had a chance to prepare the area where you give birth there is very little mess but if you happen to give birth in a different room from where you planned to then I can see there would be no hope of keeping things clean. It might be a good idea to leave some old towels etc in a few areas that you might land up in. I was amazed how quickly they cleaned up, we used some plastic decorator's sheeting and a mixture of old towels and huggies bed mats.The mw put the towels straight in the washing machine for us.

PipCarrier Tue 24-May-11 19:45:42

Thanks for the tips Moo. Luckily we've got wooden flooring in our bedroom where I'm planning to have the baby and we've bought some plastic decorators sheets as you've said and got tons of old towels and sheets from family and friends. The mw has already dropped off a stack of inco pads plus I've got some of my own, so fingers crossed the mess will be kept to a minimum and even if not, it shouldn't be too drastic to clear up!

Feeling excited again now smile

InNeedOfCoffee Tue 24-May-11 21:29:50

Not what u asked but i had a home birth 7 weeks ago (2nd baby) and will hopefully do the same for any other children i may have. I found it a very calm experience and a lot more help and support than i got in hospital for my first birth. As everyone else says there is nothing to stop you transfering in if you feel the need to. Midwives cleaned up everything very quickly btw

PipCarrier Tue 24-May-11 21:42:08

Thanks inneedofcoffee, I love to hear anything positive. I was lucky that I enjoyed my first birth in the MLU at the hospital and it really gave me the confidence to think I can do this one at home. I just love the idea of having a bath or shower in my own bathroom afterwards and then getting snuggled up in my own bed - sounds like absolute bliss smile

I can't really see any downside to it other than the possible mess but I think that's a remote possibility.

girlfromdownsouth Thu 26-May-11 17:09:39

I have had 2 homebirths and can honestly say there was no mess afterwards. DH and midwives put down some black bin liners (opened up) at the appropriate time and used inco pads. I was able to have a lovely bath straight afterwards (run for me by m/w with some tea tree oil in) then they made me a cup of tea and tucked me into my bed - lovely!

Needless to say am planning a hb with DC3 due in approx 7 wks time.

Whiteybaby Thu 26-May-11 18:09:13

Pip I had DS1 at home a week last weds. He was born in the pool and so mess really limited. Midwives and DH cleared up after and we just used a load of old towels from our stock plus any friends and family had so that they could be thrown away after. My parents came over to see him that afternoon and couldnt believe how tidy the house was. Also we have just renovated and so have 5 week old carpets throughout. The midwives were very pleased with themselves to achieve delivery of DS and then movement of me up three flights of stairs and into bed without any marks being made! grin. DD1 also managed to sleep through the whole thing which was a major worry for me!

I tried for a hb with DD1 although had to transfer in as couldnt push her out after 5 hours of trying. Even with blue light transfer and a kiwi cup delivery in the labour ward I didnt have a second thought about trying again. It was bliss lying in my bed after with a cuppa and the biscuit tin!

Like others said its all about where you feel comfortable though...

GothMummy Thu 26-May-11 19:09:58

Yes, if i had given birth where i had planned to there would not have been any mess - the floor was wall to wall covered with plastic sheeting and old towels. My dilation was checked as being 6cm, I walked up the stairs to use the bathroom and out shot DS. No one could have predicted that and I didnt even realise I was about to push out a baby I thought I just needed the toilet!

Im sure the midwives would have tried to clear up had there been any time but since we all rushed to the hospital for my safety that was the last of anyones priorities and rightly so.

nailak Thu 26-May-11 19:16:22

yeah i think the situation described above is because it was your dd1 and you didnt know what it felt like etc? with the rest you will remember the feelin and know when it is time probably

maxbear Thu 26-May-11 22:05:44

I've had one MLU and two home births, all have been good. I have been midwife at about 30 home births and I wouldn't have thought any of them would have felt unhappy about their births, I have had a few transfers in at late stages of labour although I was probably more worried about that than the women themselves. The only one that was nearly born in the ambulance had a successful hb a few years later so obviously wasn't too put off by her experiences! You have to deliver where ever you feel comfortable. smile

GothMummy Fri 27-May-11 12:12:20

Nailak - I do hope I will remember what giving birth feels like second time around LOL because if this baby turns round I will be doing it again in a few weeks. In a hospital with the blessed relief of drugs smile I didnt realise I was about to push out a baby because I had been told I was only 6cm and nowhere near and also it didnt hurt at all when he shot out and was so very very fast - and I had been told by everyone the pushing stage is horrifically painful and to expect pushing for an hour or more. I did go into shock!

I think another issue with homebirth that should be considered is if you have appropriate support at home, I know in hospitals midwives and nurses are very stretched and cups of tea/ glasses of water might take a long time to arrive and a lot of people go home 6 hours after delivery but if you have no one willing to look after you, you might fare better in least you may get a drink or something to eat or some help to breastfeed at some point! If I had had someone to take care of me afterwards even just bringing me a sandwich it might have been a very different experience for me. I was relying on DH but he completely freaked out and was being very sick repeatedly then fell asleep when I really needed some TLC after the birth. Not his fault but he was useless!

The overwhelmingly positive thing about my homebirth was no interventions whatsoever, especially since it was a very long labour which I have been told would have been sped up/waters broken etc if I had been in hospital. Plus I got to watch my DVDs.

KatieMiddleton Fri 27-May-11 12:25:15

Had a hb with first baby and what I think made the difference (besides being more comfortable in my home environment) was the one-to-one MW care which I just would not get in any of my local units.

You can always transfer in but not usually to MLU ime.

calmbirthmum Fri 27-May-11 20:23:30

I've had both mine at home. Both experiences good, but second better than first because we hired a private midwife. The first time we finally got one, but only after I dug my heels into the birthing pool - my mum had just died and I wasn't go near a hospital to have my baby!

I'd say get informed - how does it work in your area on the NHS? Do they have community midwives that only come out in the daylight hours? Or do they offer round-the-clock care? Do they have staffing issues? You need to know. If you don't ask, they won't tell you. Better to be informed and make your choices based on truth, rather than ignorance or naivity.

Also, you could think about having a doula with you. You might find that a reassuring option.

My private midwife was happy to offer birth-only package and it cost £1,500. Worth EVERY penny to me, and I swear we're not made of it. She helped to make the whole experience a wonderful one. I felt inspired by her belief in natural childbirth and our body's ability to birth. And her care - both personally and professionally - were second to none.

For me, home was calm and familiar. We created an environment that was dark and quiet and serene. Birthing pool and candles the first time. Just bed the next!

Bottom line? Get informed. Weigh up your options. Tune into how you really feel about it. And deal with any fears you have in advance.

Happy decision-making wink.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair Fri 27-May-11 21:48:21

I had my first at home and am planning the same with my second, due end of november (I actually freak out at the idea of going into hospital)

I honestly think you should just do whatever makes you feel most comfortable and safe and supported. Every woman is so different and we can only share our such personal experiences and so much of it is down to chance and fate but if you're going to have a relatively normal labour I think it goes best if you are confident with where you are and who you're with.

On the mess side of things, I was all planned to give birth in my living room and similarly was 7cm then suddenly pushed DS out unexpectedly - mw thankfully realised what was going on and grabbed some inco pads and after I'd been showered etc you wouldn't have known at all that a homebirth had taken place. The mess, like everything else in birth, is different for everyone

good luck and congrats!

pooka Fri 27-May-11 21:53:18

Can't help I'm afraid.

Had homebirth with ds2 (third baby). Second was supposed to be at home too - but last minute lack of midwife meant we dashed to hospital.

The homebirth was AMAZING. No mess. I had a cheap bottom sheet on my bed, over an ikea waterproof/towelling mattress cover. By the time I'd had a shower and a pee after the delivery, the bed had been changed. Was bliss getting into my own bed with ds2. Pure bliss. DD (who was 6 at the time) woke up when the midwives were finishing up and she came upstairs to say hi to her new baby brother. No rushing about, no waiting to be allowed home. No worries about childcare.

BabyReindeer Fri 27-May-11 23:14:39

My home birth with DS2 was lovely, everything happened very quickly so didn't have much time to think about it, the real benefits were afterwards, being in my own bed, DH cooking me big breakfast, and getting up later that day and making the dinner myself, because I could. No mess, DH bought enormous plastic tarpaulin and we covered it with old duvet covers, and had a pool too.

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