Hi ladies,
My first tentative foray into the scary world of childbirth, aka how on earth does this thing get out of me?
I'm 26 weeks with first baby so this is all new for me, and was surprised by something the MW said yesterday so thought I would ask you wise ladies.
People on here seem to talk quite a bit about birth plans, and so I had assumed that everybody had one, and then MW said yesterday, see how you feel at the AN classes, some people want one, some people just go with the flow and see what happens/what they think they need at the time.
So I was a bit surprised, and am now wondering about the pros and cons. Pros of course include having your wishes known and making it clear to everyone how you would like things to happen. But I can't help thinking that there must also be an element of trying to keep things to plan when sometimes it's just not possible, or you change your mind. Does this then give people a feeling of not having done what they 'really' wanted, or having 'failed' if e.g. they wanted minimal pain relief and ended up having loads, as opposed to their only expectations being to arrive at the hospital pregnant, and leave the hospital a mother.
So, thoughts and experiences please...did you do one, are you glad you did, do you regret it, did you stick to it, if not, how did that make you feel? Did you not have one and wish you had? Do you think they're important, or rather like new year's resolutions (designed to be forgotten about 3 days after they've been dreamt up)?
Really appreciate people's thoughts. (Am talking about hospital birth, if that's relevant to people's answers).
D
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Childbirth
Birth plan...or not?
Deliaskis · 10/11/2010 15:52
I did one...and it stayed in the car the whole time I was in hospital! 
I wanted a pool birth, no pain relief other than gas and air, etc etc and I ended up with pethidine and a spinal block having DS delivered by ventouse after I was induced.
However, even though pretty much nothing went to plan, I'm still really glad that I wrote one. By writing one, it meant that I'd thought about the options, what was important to me, and what I really wasn't so fussed about. I did research and discussed things with my midwife. It also meant that me and DP had to have conversations about what could happen/what might happen.
DS's birth was traumatic in some ways but I don't feel like I failed because I didn't follow the birth plan. Things changed, and DP and I had to make decisions as we went along but the research and thinking that we'd done meant that they were informed decisions.
I also found that some things I thought would happen automatically, like skin to skin contact after birth, actually didn't. The midwife tried to take DS away to wash and dress him and we had to ask her not to and to give him to me for skin to skin.
You have to assess what's really important to you, and be prepared to argue for them if it comes to it. Also, don't expect anyone at the hospital to actually look at your birth plan. Like I say, mine stayed in the car. It was only when we were going home that I realised it was still in the glove box!
Good luck!
I did one, and talked it through with the MW at my antenatal appointments. Was v. useful for me as it meant that she didn't try and give me sweeps when I went overdue. Was definitely worth discussing it before hand though - helped me cut down from 4 sides of A4 
to one. It also helped me see what the sticking points would be - I was dead against internal exams and the MW was a bit 
so that bit went in my birth plan in bold.
When I went to the hospital it was the first thing the Mws read, and good thing to as I was in no state to be discussing it at that stage.
I think that even if things don't go to plan, it is still useful as the MWs have an idea of your preferred ethos of the birth and try to stick to the spirit if not the letter of the plan.
Like borntofolk I had assumed that the things I wanted would happen anyway - ie being encouraged to stay upright and letting dh cut the cord. I didn't write a birth plan because they were really the only 2 things I felt strongly about, I was happy to go with the flow on everything else and thought I could just tell the mw what I wanted at the time. In the event I was already pushing when I was admitted and they made me lay on the bed and delivered ds by ventouse as his heartrate dropped. I doubt whether there would have been time for them to read my birth plan anyway but I do regret not writing one because I think that if they had just let me push in a better position for a short while I could maybe have managed without the ventouse but its one of those things that we'll never know 
. Dh was pretty gutted about not getting to cut the cord too, I will definitely be writing a birth plan next time and stapling it to my notes!
My birth plan is a one-sheet way of me getting down important info about me & my wishes in a number of situations, from what I'd ideally like to do to my preferences if I have a C-section (e.g. skin-to-skin immediately if possible if I have a CS with spinal anaesthetic). My MW said that having it on there that I want to breastfeed is also important. It's also at the top of my "plan" that my birth partner will be my husband, with his name. 
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