I'll try and be brief DD1 nearly 10 has always been a sensitive child, she's bubbly, lovely and caring. Last year she broke a bone in her ankle and needed a cast only for a week but she was so stressed about it and when it came to hospital visits she would scream the place down.
This year she caught her finger in a door, ripped off her nail, broke the bone serious damage she had a 2 day stay in hospital and a operation, she cried the whole time practically then at the outpatient appointments.
Now she has done sort of medical anxiety she hates hospitals and everything medical, is always stressing about hurting herself etc.
Today she had a first orthodontist appointment, I explained to her what was going to happen (X-ray impressions photos etc) they were very good with her but she was shaking in the chair and had a meltdown with the X-ray.
Tonight DH went to tuck the DC in and then I heard him shouting at DD1 things like get a grip. So I asked him why he was shouting at her. He said my softly softly approach hasn't worked so he's trying something else. Escalated into an argument with me saying shouting at a 9 year old child is not going to make her better, he said it's typical if me to say his way is wrong but not to have a solution, I said of course I don't have a solution I'm not a child psychologist. I said I know how your making me feel as an adult shouting at me imagine how it makes a 9 year old feel.
Went to see DD1 whose upset but saying sorry DH was shouting at me I told her not to worry we were just disagreeing and spoke to her again about not worrying about things and although the X-ray was scary it's over and sometimes in life we have to do things that we don't like but know they are good for us.
I'm so worried about DD1 she seems so fragile and livid with DH for thinking shouting at her will make her toughen up or something. Thanks if you've read all of this
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Child mental health
Don't know where to put this but need help for DD1 and so angry with DH
sweetkitty · 12/03/2014 21:44
Yes DH is DD1s father and is a very good one, I know this is borne out of sheer frustration, he heard his DD crying in bed went in and asked her what was wrong and I think let his frustration get the better if him 
I'm still not happy though and am so angry at him shouting at her.
She came downstairs at 10pm tonight sobbing saying she had "bad thoughts" I asked what they were and she said about the dentist. I had a chat with her about it again
The worrying thing is I can see me in her I remember being 11 and starting to worry about everything, I had rubbish parents though and that plus a number of things have led me to have anxiety, depression and low self worth, I obviously worry for her
The orthodontist was just a initial consultation, they've decided to just have another look in a year but it will be 2 years plus before they even think about doing anything.
When she caught her finger in the door it was a very nasty one, at first they thought the bone and nailbed was gone. She had to spend the night in hospital then nil by mouth all the next day waiting for her op. She was very distressed and crying hysterically even being told she had to stay in hospital, then putting on a gown and the whole theatre thing.
She then had 2 outpatients appointments where they cleaned it up and took out the stitches she was hysterical then too. Her finger is nearly healed now they did a great job and managed to save the nail bed.
Getting her to the doctors would be awful in itself I would imagine
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