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10 year old boy being excluded...

(4 Posts)
Jellymoon1 Sun 27-Jan-19 08:41:09

Hi,
My some is 10, and started a new school in September, so still early days, however...
He sometimes comes home saying all the other boys in his class (there are 5 of them) have been invited to so and so’s house, or they’re all going off somewhere together, and he’s the only one not invited.
He doesn’t seem overly upset about this, but says it does hurt a bit, as it would.

He talks about having friends, and speaks about one little boy in particular who is in the other class. I have arranged for a play date with this little boy next week.

I don’t think it’s just about being new as there are other newbies who are included.

He can be very reserved, sensitive, a bit dyspraxia/dyslexic, a little bit of a goody goody. He might be one that would tell a teacher if someone is doing something wrong. He’s not in the slightest bit sporty and would probably be the weakest in the year at most sports. He wouldn’t have a clue how to act cool, and can be very childish and silly, and a bit hyper. He did admit that he often annoys people, but didn’t seem to care that much!

He won’t join in games he doesn’t like, he shys away from any physical tag games as he’s always out first and they make him feel hopeless.
He often plays alone. He does sometimes ask if he can join in with others, but sometimes feels they don’t want him to. He kind of sits on the periphery.

Generally, the new school has been brilliant for him and academically he’s improved massively, He is happy, and becoming more resilient, and I don’t think anyone is being especially mean or that he’s being bullied. I think he hasn’t quite made it into a friendship group yet, most likely because of the way he behaves rather thsn because they are unpleasant kids.

Wondering if I just leave him to work all this stuff out by himself, since it’s not a major issue yet, talk to his tutor, or try to help him ‘fit in’.

Auntiepatricia Sun 27-Jan-19 08:42:39

Get him into something outside of school, a club where he can make other friends and have some identity with.

jackio2205 Sun 27-Jan-19 08:46:37

It's always a bit tricky finding your place so to a certain extend he needs to work his way through it but he really does need to put himself out there and be an instigator, I think people can get so wrapped up in autopilot mode they don't think to break the mould, so if he were to invite them out it might be the start of something?

I was the new kid when i was a bit younger than him and I felt left out, but what helped me was putting myself out there. I also thinj you could talk to the schoolmans they could maybe have a buddy system for new starters, someone to take them under their wings a bit and introduce them to others
X

Jellymoon1 Sun 27-Jan-19 08:53:02

Clubs outside school are a good idea, and the school actually has lots they can sign up for at break times, so I need to encourage that don’t I.

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