What happens when the bully's punishment is over?

[reeva7]

DS was being severely bullied over a very long time. We told the school (secondary) and the main bully and his sidekick were suspended. School aren't saying when they will be back, but I am guessing it will be on Monday.

I want to consult some crystal balls and find out what will happen next?! If a 13 year old has been bullying for so long that its become a way of life, will an exclusion stop them?

Knowing the family, i think the mother will be very angry with him that he wasn't subtle enough to get away with it, rather than angry that he did it. She has a bit of reputation for using and abusing people too.

[reeva7]

Sorry one more question: is a week's exclusion quite rare indicating that the school also think what has been happening is very serious?

[Sallyhasleftthebuilding]

It may be a build up of several incidents with other children - he will have warning etc

To exclude a child for that long will bring other agencies into play - it may be SS or Police or Educational needs type school -

The boy needs help and school will probably do all they can to help him


That said it doesn't help you - email HOY for reassurance and what help your child can now expect to be kept safe - safe area at lunch - different classes or forms - say you want a reply by X date

Look into behaviour policy complaints procedure and bullying policy - and quote it !

[reeva7]

Thanks for replying.

The bully sent DS an email this morning. Its a bit odd.
Its about 15 lines long and part way through the spelling and grammar suddenly improve - almost like the last 2/3rds were written by an adult who wanted to victim blame and minimise.

The first line says sorry. Then the next 13 lines add up to I wish you hadn't reported me, I was only having fun, you could have just told me you didn't like it. Then the last line asks if DS will let them both move on from it.

Ds replied saying I did tell you hundreds of times but you ignored me, the bullying was much more than the one thing you name and I want you leave me alone from now on.

The email was strange though - it was as if the bully (or his mother) just can't get his/ her head around the fact that there's no excuse for the things he did. It makes me more afraid that he hasn't learned his lesson as the only thing that really bothers them is that he got caught.

[Wolfiefan]

Contact the school and ask how the reintegration will be handled. Perhaps show them the email. How will they prevent any future occurrence?

[reeva7]

Its such a stupid email. Who likes being punched week after week for years?

[Tamarandave]

You say your "DS was being severely bullied over a very long time". Sorry but why let it go on? You are supposed to protect him from this. Nobody else will. Neither the school, nor any other agency cares as much as you do for him, nor do they have the responsibility you do. Once you had seen the school was slow to act, he should have been removed ASAP. Now you should take him out before he suffers further long term psychological damage, either to another school or home educated and get therapy for him if at all possible. Kids who are long term bullied can be damaged for the rest of their lives and basically have their lives ruined.
Make sure there is no anger at home and that home is as happy as possible. Give him jobs and responsibilities to do and keep him active in a productive way. This will give his shattered self esteem and self confidence a change to rebuild