So I was pulled by my DS class teacher today.(11 Posts)
About the fact that some of the children in his class (mainly boys) have been making fun of and calling DS names relating to his weight. i.e he needs to wear a bra.
The teacher has caught these boys a number of times and on other occasions other children in the class have come and told her. She told me of an incident that happened last week during class, a remark was made about DS and another child on the table went and told the teacher, when the teacher asked DS about this DS says he didn't hear anything, yet the child, who told, was adamant that he must have heard The child who made the remark denied everything.
So I am now worried that he is not talking about this with anyone (he has not mentioned this at home at all).
During the initial term of this year there were problems on the playground (no one would play with him) but on his request I went in and spoke to his class teacher and things got easier (or so he has told me)
His teacher says DS will always ask to stay in and do jobs rather than go out and play.
She wants to send him to counselling with the school social worker which I have agreed to as I feel it would do him good and has told me she is now going to start coming down harder on the children who are doing this. Up until now in class they have been doing work on how to interact with others, or what to do in certain situations in a way of dealing with this.
What I want to know is how can I help him at home, I feel so upset and angry on his behalf, but he doesn't seem to be upset about this. He is happy to go to school and is always full of tales of what he has done through the day when he gets home. Any advice?
In my experience once there is a culture of picking on a child it's very hard to change that. Switching schools becomes the only solution.
It sounds like you are already doing a lot of the right things if your son is shrugging it off, it's his best tactic to not rise to it and they will give up and find better sport elsewhere.
Anything that helps him feel more confident about dealing with conflict could help him boost his self esteem, too. Martial arts are an obvious option (that extra weight could be helpful there).
Thanks for getting back to me. He is not keen on doing martial arts, he prefers cubs and rugby.
I know what you mean about the only option about switching schools. I have spoken to him about this and he doesn't want to. I think this has been an on going problem for a year or so but as I say he doesn't tell me so we will see how we go and I will keep an eye on things.
Are you doing anything to address the weight issue? I know it's hard- but easier now than later.
I don't want to sound mean, but is he overweight? If he is, then trying to sort this out may stop bullying in the future.
I was about to post what seeker did.
I realise it's no excuse for nasty children to bully, however taken as a totally separate issue it is worrying that he is so overweight at such a young age.
It would certainly aid his confidence
Are the rest of the family overweight? Maybe you could pull together a healthier eating package and go swimming together or get bikes and go cycling when the weather is good?
Cut out stuff he may snack on like crisps and biscuits and substitute pieces of fruit.
It's good the school are tackling this seriously. I would also encourage him to invite friends round maybe from Cubs and Rugby or engineer some friendships outside of school.
Oh, and it's fantastic that his teacher and his classmates are so on the ball about this.
We are an over weight family and something we are tackling as a family. He has always had a chubby face, but not a chubby body. His body has caught up with it so we have changed our diet and are doing more as a family, as in going out for walks, walking into town instead of taking the car etc and he recently took up rugby.
He has also had a growth spurt which has helped to thin him out a little bit.
I was pleased in a way that the teacher approached this with me (well as much as I could be!)
Encourage the rugby. I think its the best thing you can do for boys - they have a ready made little group of friends then, and he'll learn to be more confident in himself.
That will also work well with the healthy eating and the counselling I would imagine.
One of the larger boys in ds's circle has come into his own since rugby started- he is now known as Turbo and is much admired for his tank like qualities........
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