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so much feeding I feel I can't keep up...

(24 Posts)
motherpeculiar Thu 07-Jul-05 19:59:26

I'm exhausted. DD is a big baby and so possibly hungry a lot (anyone know if that's a rule?) but she feeds so much. About every 2 hours during the day and every 3 or so at night. It feels like having a newborn again. She is now 13 weeks and I expected to be getting at least 6 hours straight at night by this stage. In fact until last week she was managing to sleep from being put down around 8pm through to 3am (And during the extreme heat a few weeks ago was going 8pm to 6am!) but now our nighttime feeds go like

7.30pm last feed before bed
12am wakes for feed
3am wakes for feed
6am wakes for feed and to get up

is this about normal or does anyone have any suggestions as to how to get her going longer. I'm loathe to top up with formula but would love DH to do a night feed if it goes on like this. And the way she feeds during the day I don't have time, energy (or milk) to express ( I have an active 3 year old on the scene too)

any ideas?

starlover Thu 07-Jul-05 20:00:25

might just be a growth spurt... worth waiting and seeing if it settles down a bit

kama Thu 07-Jul-05 20:05:13

Message withdrawn

motherpeculiar Thu 07-Jul-05 20:10:35

starlover, i had hoped it was a growth spurt but it has been over a week snow since she reverted to this pattern. Do growth spurts go on that long?????

kama, thanks for letting me know I am not alone. Don't you find it comepletely exhausting, nevermind diffiult to get anything done?

I really like bf'ing but am just finding 9 or 10 feeds every 24h a bit overwhelming. I guess I am also surprised as DD1 was sleeping from 11pm to 7am without a feed by this stage. I know they are all different but thought that was more the norm...

ho hum, looks like it might be for the long haul then

starlover Thu 07-Jul-05 20:13:44

ooh, i don't know really MP!
i mixed fed ds for quite a while, and i think if you want to give a formula top-up that's fine. if it gives yuo a bit of rest then it's gotta be good surely!

at the end of the day you have to do what make you (and baby) happy... have you tried getting her back to sleep at night without giving a feed?

mears Thu 07-Jul-05 20:29:53

I think the worst thing you can do when feeding a lot is clock watch because it makes you feel so resentful. That was a piece of advice I read and stuck to. Try not to look at the clock during the night to see what time it is. Just doi the feed and go back to sleep ASAP. I always took babies into bed to feed and I slept at the same time. I put babes back in cot when I woke again and found them asleep at the boob.

You could try expressing at 10pm - you would still have enough for babe feeding at midnight. This stage does not go on forever though it feels like it at the time.

Having a baby and toddler is exhausting whether you are B/F or not. Make sure when DH is around that you get a nap in the afternoon while he takes both of them away for a walk

mears Thu 07-Jul-05 20:30:32

ps DH taking them away to give you peace is better than him doing night feed IMO

spidermama Thu 07-Jul-05 20:31:23

Growth spurt. Any chance you could lie down during the day to help build up your supply? Not always easy I know.

motherpeculiar Thu 07-Jul-05 20:32:11

hmm, never tried the getting her back to sleep with no feed tactic. never occurred to me - mush for brains you see

I guess we could give that a go, tho' she is an obstinate little one when she is hungry and I envisage hours of attempted placation before I give in and feed her anyway!

vicdubya Thu 07-Jul-05 20:37:58

Can you try a dream feed before you go to bed, around 10-10.30?

The worst thing is when they wake an hour or two after you went to bed, because you are in your really deep sleep then.

You might then get a stretch of 5-6 hours before she wakes again.

I have every sympathy as ds woke every night at least once until he was 13 months (let alone 13 weeks!!!!). But I didn't have another to look after as well, so I slept during the day as much as poss.

Good luck!

motherpeculiar Thu 07-Jul-05 20:39:14

oops, sorry missed your posts mears and spidermama.

I guess I should just relax about it then and it may or may not tail off. The tip about not getting resentful is helpful, though I find I want to look at my watch as I seem to have some deep rooted need to try to discern some kind of pattern. I suppose I should accept that there are no rules about how frequently babies feed and just roll with it. Why aren't there any rules though?????It would make it much easier.

Does your supply up if you rest in the day then? I guess that might help (probably a truly dense question but I am exhausted and my memory has officially done a runner)

motherpeculiar Thu 07-Jul-05 20:43:54

sorry vicdubya, missed yours that time, must remember to check before pressing post!

I think it was trying a dream feed that got me into this pickle in the first place, although I may be wrong. WHen she was going from 8 to 3 I got cocky and dream fed her one night just over a week ago around 11, hoping she'd go though to 6 or so. Did she hell. Was awake as usual at 3 and now wants her late evening feed too.

Having 2 is hard as you tend to be up and out and about a lot, and if DH does take them both away there is so much to do around the house I rarely rest. Should maybe rethink that.

hunkermunker Thu 07-Jul-05 20:47:33

We used to wake DS up when we went to bed about 11pm. We'd change his nappy, I'd feed him, he'd sleep a bit longer (not much, mind you!). Also meant that we were less likely to have only been asleep an hour when he woke. Note I've said "we" here - DH was very good (still is!) at settling DS after my boobs had done the feeding bit - very important to get DHs involved in sleepless nights

I also co-slept when I got really tired, but DS was never a huge fan of that - likes to be by himself when he sleeps, even though he's Master Cuddly during the day Plus I never got the hang of not waking up properly when I fed him - even though I learnt to feed lying down after he stopped being a startly thrashy newborn!

spidermama Thu 07-Jul-05 20:56:46

My 5 month old feeds abour 4/5 times in the night but it doesn't really bother me as he's in bed with me and I don't wake up or sit up to feed him. I don't believe the dire warnings about making a rod for my own back as I did the same with my other 3 and they all sleep very well now.

toria77 Thu 07-Jul-05 21:24:25

my ds did just that at about that age. think it is quite common when bf

Groggymama Thu 07-Jul-05 21:52:16

blimey I felt like this last week and am now combination feeding and ds2 seems very happy and ds1 (3yrs) has me back to pester him!

good luck

oops Thu 07-Jul-05 23:27:04

Message withdrawn

Smilla Fri 08-Jul-05 13:29:30

My DS (fully BF) is 16 weeks and feeds every 1.5-2h during the day and every 2-3h at night! He slept up to 7 hours without a feed until 13 weeks but since then he has been adding more and more night feeds..so if it's any consolation it could be even worse!
Mears that's a good advice-I always find it so depressing when I check the time and it has only been 2 hours since last feed!
I'm really tempted to give formula as his last feed but the idea makes me feel quilty. Has anyone tried it and has it worked?

motherpeculiar Fri 08-Jul-05 14:19:47

thanks everyone - it does make me feel better to know I am not alone, although I was hopeful someone would have a magic answer that would get me the golden 8 hours sleep at night. ha ha.

good to know also that this doesn't mean that DD will be a crap sleeper later.

I guess maybe when she gets on solids she'll go longer...

NotQuiteCockney Fri 08-Jul-05 14:41:13

Solids don't always make that much of a difference - just getting bigger does.

My DS1 and 2 both fed a lot in the night when they were little. I always had them in bed with me for that period, it's just easier. If I don't get out of bed, I don't wake up fully, so I can go back to sleep quickly.

I stopped feeding DS2 in the night at nine months, and now I'm just waiting for him to stop waking at night altogether. It shouldn't take long.

DS1, despite being a rubbish sleeper at the start, is now a very good sleeper. He wakes at night if he's ill, but almost always sleeps through.

Tipex Fri 08-Jul-05 21:08:53

MP, it seems this may be a real pattern as a couple of others on here have said the same happened to their LO's at similar age and it did to my DS too. he was going 7:30pm to 4am until about 11 weeks then started adding an 11pm feed and has continued pretty much that way (hes now 20 weeks). hes the same as yours and once hes had a feed its every 3 hours till morning. I have tried getting him back without a feed and its blooming hard work!! struck me as easier all round to just feed him! You have my sympathy on the lack of sleep thing, its rotten isnt it! but I am assured it wont last forever???

motherpeculiar Sat 09-Jul-05 12:31:09

oh god it's getting worse

the last two nights she's been feeding every 1.5 to 2 hours, I'm shattered

I do feed her in bed lying down and she doesn't fully waken but I'm not getting any uninterrupted sleep at all. I'm really worried it's going to stay like this and I won't be able to cope. I'm due back at work at the end of the month.

I tend to rush to feed her at night when she starts to whimper as I don't want her to waken DD1 who is a very light sleeper and very hard to get back to sleep if she does wake up. I've left DD2 once or twice to see if she'll settle back but she just goes to lusty roar if I don't get in there fast.

this is really starting to get to me now

Smilla Mon 11-Jul-05 10:00:12

Awww motherpeculiar I really sympathise with you! I'm exactly in the same situation and I feel completely shattered as well. Have you tried some kind of a 'white noise' to get her to settle? I sometimes use a de-tuned radio to get ds to go to sleep if he is being difficult. sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. The only other thing that I have done is to get my partner to take ds in the morning (ds is often up between 5 and 6) so I can get a bit more sleep. I hope it gets better (for both of us!) I know exactly how desperate you feel!

ZoeC Mon 11-Jul-05 12:05:47

i found my dd2 got quite good sleeping around 10 weeks (did 7-4 once, 7-2 or 3 regularly then through to morning), but then it got worse - 7-1-3-6, that kind of thing. Sometimes she has had a 10pm feed in there too, but then when I get to my wits end, she gets a bit better again for a while - I was in a real state about a week ago as I was so tired but then she did 7-1-7 for 2 nights so I'd forgive her . I give up looking for a pattern tbh, I just know that as bad as it gets, it then gets a bit better for a few days.

My dd1 is nearly 3 so I can sympathise with the older child who doesn't nap so neither does mummy .

Hang in there and time will sort it all (so I tell myself repeatedly when I'm at my most exhausted).

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