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Reading about BF means more chance of failing.

(19 Posts)
Kayzr Fri 18-Sep-09 18:33:50

A nugget of wisdom from a 'friend'.

We were discussing BF and how I 'failed'(her choice of wording) and she succeeded.(Why am I friends with herhmm). She puts it down to the fact I read about it on here, got 'Bestfeeding' and read stuff online. But she just got on with it. Apparently reading up on things like BF tells you about the possible problems and gives you reasons to fail.

I haven't mangaged to BF either of my boys. So I tried to read up about BF when I got pg with DS2. All it really needed to tell me was how to gain the strength to tell MW to F**K OFF and not give top ups.

Anyway MIL thinks friend has a point about the reading up has just let me discover problems and then I got those problems.hmm

Any thoughts on this?

FlamingoDuBeke Fri 18-Sep-09 18:38:54

Sorry, I think that's crap. Reading the wrong stuff won't help, but I think that parents could do with knowing a few things at least:

1. the number of a local BFC and the national bf lines
2. the details of local bf support groups
3. get as much skin to skin as possible
4. don't touch the back of baby's head at all
5. Feed as frequently as possible in the first few weeks
6. If it hurts any more than just when baby is latching on, then it's not right - get help
7. Trust that you and your baby do have the ability to do this - you just need to learn it from eachother

Any more than that is just confusing, and, I agree, not helpful. Too much to remember!

crokky Fri 18-Sep-09 18:39:53

I don't really know, but I can tell you my experience...I knew nothing about breastfeeding when I had DS (apart from you attach the baby to the boob and he drinks milk).

In fact, he was 37 weeks with difficulty latching and a very poor suck. Anyway, I excl. bf him and I think I might have worried more if I had known how poor his latch and suck were. I only really knew that DS was a difficult feeder when I had DD and when she was born, she just latched in 1 second and fed quickly, despite also being a 37 weeker.

So in my case, ignorance was actually better.

suwoo Fri 18-Sep-09 18:42:53

Bollocks I say. I couldn't possibly have researched any more (mostly on here grin). That knowledge and online help is the only thing that enabled me to finally breastfeed a DC.

Kayzr Fri 18-Sep-09 18:44:10

No BF support groups I can get too. A groups of mums have asked and asked but they don't think it is needed here.

tiktok Fri 18-Sep-09 18:44:45

Well....you can't 'catch' sore nipples from reading about them, that's for sure.

Confidence, and the courage to tell people to feck off when necessary, are important and some people get that from books and greater knowledge, and some people don't.

So there's no one true answer for all, is there?

cory Fri 18-Sep-09 18:45:40

I think your friend is talking crap, probably just feels insecure because you know things she doesn't. Ime it was the friends who were best informed who persevered with bf'ing because they were committed. The reason I struggled was not because any mysterious insecurity but because my dd is disabled. I didn't make her disabled by reading books about breastfeeding- or indeed about anything else.

PuzzleRocks Fri 18-Sep-09 18:46:06

I don't recall ever reading anything and luckily found breastfeeding easy both times. What I did have on my side was an older sister who frequently breastfed both of her children in front of me.
I wonder if that was more useful. Perhaps visiting a breastfeeding cafe before the baby s born would help?

Kayzr Fri 18-Sep-09 18:47:20

No breastfeeding cafe either.

Golda Fri 18-Sep-09 18:53:20

I think sometimes the amount of advice about bf and the criticism about the lack of support might make people think that it is too hard which might set some people up for failure. I thought that I would not be able to latch a baby on without help from the mw. It didn't occur to me I could just do it myself.

On the artificial milk thread someone said something along the lines of people would be better at bf if they used attachment parenting and didn't put the baby in a cot or car seat etc. If I had read something like that when I was pg it would have really put me off bf because I knew that I wasn't going to carry ds round in a sling all day. If I had thought I had to in order to bf then I might not have bothered trying.

bronze Fri 18-Sep-09 18:57:11

4. don't touch the back of baby's head at all???

KingRolo Fri 18-Sep-09 19:02:46

Yes - why can't you touch the back of the baby's head? I am still bfing my 11mo and am sure I have touched it a few times! grin

All the stuff about foremilk and hindmilk did confuse me though, that didn't help. Also, I agree with Golda - it's perfectly possible to bf and have the baby sleeping in a cot and pushed in a pram.

LovelyTinOfSpam Fri 18-Sep-09 19:06:27

I read loads and loads, and all my friends had had trouble so I was fully prepared for cracked nipples, mastitis etc etc

But actually everything was fine, I found it easy.

So based on that sample of 1, your friend is talking cobblers.

Golda Fri 18-Sep-09 19:06:45

I wish I'd never heard of foremilk and hindmilk. It really stressed me out with my first.

LovelyTinOfSpam Fri 18-Sep-09 19:07:37

Also plenty of head touching going on here as well!

bronze Fri 18-Sep-09 19:11:41

Golda I still dont quite understand foremilk and hindmilk. well I know what they are but I just feed mine off whichever side is most uncomfortable or most hidden if out. They've all thrived.

Kayzr Fri 18-Sep-09 19:15:09

MW did lots of back of head touching. She just grabbed his head and shoved him on. Then wondered why he was crying so much.

FlamingoDuBeke Fri 18-Sep-09 19:34:52

Foremilk and hindmilk is a misnomer. Your breasts make one sort of milk. While it's sitting in the breasts, the fat starts to stick to the sides of the milk ducts, much like the cream in full cream milk in glass bottles. As baby sucks, and the milk starts to flow, it gets fattier and fattier from the first suck.

If you last fed a long time ago, there's lots of fat on the sides of the milk ducts, and it gets fattier slower = need longer feeds. If you last fed a short time ago, most of the fat is still in the milk = can manage with shorter feeds.

Basically, if you feed at least as frequently as baby needs, for at least as long as baby needs, then the foremilk and hindmilk will sort itself out. You don't need to know about it - you just need to know to trust your baby's instincts.

Back of baby's head: When your baby is being born, he has to turn a corner in the birth canal. What makes him push his head back is feeling your pubic bone against the back of his head. A vitally important reflex when it comes to safe childbirth, but a pain in the bum when you're trying to breastfeed - you don't want a baby pushing his head back when you want him to feed.

Some babies can tolerate a light touch, but lots can't, and many are put off by heavy-handed MWs in the first day or two sad

plusonemore Fri 18-Sep-09 19:53:22

I 'failed' to BF ds1, largely due to pethadine and lack of skin to skin- he was too sleepy and we mised the window to establish properly. I did 3 weeks but he kept losing weight despite feeding forever. it was best for both of us to stop (actually not true, it broke my heart and filled me with guilt, but he thrived )

when preggers with ds2 i read and read and read, and one of the best things was watching videos on that american website of women BFing to see the latch correctly. ds2 fed brilliantly right from the beginning, fed him til 8months

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