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Leaving a bf baby whose refusing a bottle

(15 Posts)
shandybass Mon 10-Aug-09 17:38:01

I was wondering if anyone could offer me advice.

I have a 3.5 month baby who is bf well. But I would like to go on a friend's hen night, well day event starting at 11am thru to 11pm in about 3 weeks. I have tried a bottle, Tommee Tippee and Avent a few times and she just messes with it in her mouth making no attempt to suck. I haven't gone on daily as its not been a major issue but I would really like to go to this event. I have left her for a few hours after a feed with my dh and mum and she has screamed and given them a pretty hard time so I am despairing a little that we will get there at all.

Any advice?

dinkystinky Mon 10-Aug-09 17:50:25

If she is thirsty enough, she will take it. DS1 refused bottles - didnt press the issue until just before went to work then I disappeared for most of a weekend and left DH with him and some EBM (kept returning to express when DS1 was asleep and leaving again) and DS1 eventually took it. If you do this you have to be prepared for them to reject the bottle for a while - warm the milk and the teat and offer for a couple of minutes when they show hunger signs. If they're turning their head/screaming/ pushing it away, stop and calm them down and try again abit later on when they're hungry. I left DH with a worn top of mine to put over his shoulder when feeding and he fed him in a cuddle position rather like bfing. DS1 went 5 hours without taking any milk then drained the next bottle and all the others that weekend. Hope that gives you hope.

shandybass Mon 10-Aug-09 18:05:53

Thank you yes it does. I do think that she would take it if there was no choice.

I don't know if my dh will be willing/able to put up with her screaming for that long though, it is upsetting and I'd rather they both not have to go through that. For one I'll probably not be allowed out of sight again!

dinkystinky Mon 10-Aug-09 18:52:26

AT 4 months babies become pretty nosey/curious - so they should take her for walks (less noisy when they holler outdoors) so she can be distracted lots. FWIW, DS1 barely cried at all - DH was v good at reading his hunger cues (licking lips, grabbing at tops, trying to chew daddy's face) and would offer the bottle then. Would stop if DS1 cried. He was perfectly happy playing between bottle offerings. And he was older - 6 months - at the time.

shandybass Wed 12-Aug-09 06:53:21

I wish I could be sure. Dd1 initially took a bottle and then refused between 3 and 6 months when she started solids. I've been more lax with dd2 and did not get her started on a bottle previously.

She will suck on a finger anything but show her the teat and nothing. I think she's pretty stubborn too and will just wait it out.

Is this a common problem and do bf Mums just have to forget any trips out for the first 6 months or so?!

nappyaddict Wed 12-Aug-09 13:19:05

Have you tried NUK, MAM or Munchkin bottles? They are meant to be very good for breast fed babies.

Grammaticus Wed 12-Aug-09 13:22:14

I just forgot the trips, tbh. At 12 weeks I left DS1 with Dh for the evening, knowing he would only need one feed (ebm - he'd previously taken a bottle of this from me) and I'd be home if he woke in the night. He refused the ebm from dh and screamed the place down. It was awful for DH, I bf DS1 when he woke in the night later on.

Dophus Wed 12-Aug-09 13:29:49

DS2 was like this. We tried every bottle going - he wouldn't take any (apart from first few weeks).

Poor sods (Dh and DS) were abandoned by me twice for hen dos - once my own (4m) and once a friend (8m). These were 2 night weekend affairs blush

Everyone kept reassuring me that when he was thirsty enough he would drink. Stubborn bugger would never take more than a sip.

He survived (as did DH) - he's still a stubborn bugger now though!

hairymelons Wed 12-Aug-09 20:43:18

Has DH tried cup feeding her? DS wouldn't take a bottle at times but would sip EBM from the bottle lid.

Also, do perservere. DS took a bottle of EBM eventually after weeks of trying, as long as I was nowhere in sight. It really helped dipping the teat in some EBM first, took us ages to figure that one out but it made a massive difference.

Try every day, I'm sure she'll figure it out

shandybass Thu 13-Aug-09 20:36:01

Thanks for your posts.

No I haven't tried those other bottles, you never know and its reassuring that others have come and others have survived despite the hen dos!

I haven't done the cup thing but tbh I thought the way she messes with a teat the milk will have gone everywhere but her mouth.

I've tried twice more with the bottle, happier to chew but not sucking or getting any milk.

Will keep you posted. Ta again.

nappyaddict Fri 14-Aug-09 01:25:47

See if any one you know uses the bottles I mentioned and see if you can borrow one. Then if you succeed you can buy your own. Or failing that just buy one of each to try.

hairymelons Fri 14-Aug-09 01:35:36

My sister is a paediatrician and she suggested the cup feeding to us because apparently they do it with very tiny babies who aren't feeding well. So might be worth a try as a last resort

Dophus Sat 15-Aug-09 12:54:31

God luck - we tried eveything, evey bottle on the market, cups the works.

He was just a stubborn bugger!

shandybass Mon 31-Aug-09 16:04:49

Just an update post script, if anyone's interested.
I went on the hen day yesterday, feeling a bit apprehensive, dd had only managed 2 oz from me using the MAM teat and refused any formula.
Dh managed amazingly, she had taken 2oz after she woke from her afternoon nap and took a further 8oz ebm plus formula as I hadn't left enough in the early evening and she did scream a bit towards sleep time.

I ended up coming home at 9pm as my norks were pretty sore not to mention the head. Dd was sleeping happily and slept all night, can you believe. She's fed a lot today, but still a result all round I think!

It just goes to show, if they have to they will take the bottle, although I'm sure there are exceptions. I left her at 10.30am and returned at 9pm.

lou031205 Mon 31-Aug-09 16:44:48

I took some kids to Thorpe Park when DD1 was 5 months old. She refused the bottled EBM all day. It took 3 days when she was 7 months old before she took the milk sad

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