Is it colic or overtiredness or something else? Desperate first-time mum needs help...(7 Posts)
Sympathy as this is a miserable time. Re feeding it's possible that as she gets bigger doesn't need to feed as long. She may actually need feeding when she cries as this is a massive growth phase.
The other thing is whether what you are eating is affecting the milk- may be worth posting on the feedig thread as I know views vary on this but I was told to avoid beans and stuff like cauliflower.
Re sleeping on you and not in cot dd was same - try to live with it - let her sleep on you in day, use a sling or try to gently put her in cot when she is asleep (ie when she has dropped right off).
Also have you thought about taking her for cranial osteopathy - friends who had similar issues said it did get help. It does get better.
Okay, well here's a few things you can try:
(1) Give her a warm bath when she starts getting ratty - some babies really relax - a tummy tub is a wise investment if you plan to do this every night.
(2) Swaddle her and see if that helps.
(3) Cut out spicy foods from your diet in case that's the problem
(4) Go see a cranial osteopath.
It is tough when you first start out - for the first two weeks, babies are often just too stunned from the delivery to do much but crying is just how they communicate. It's their only option to tell you they need something. They cry a lot. People don't realise how much.
And it does pass. DS cried almost continually from 2 weeks of age to two months. And then stopped. And now he rarely does other than when he's overtired and refusing to sleep.
Swaddling may get her back in her basket btw.
Good luck, you are giving her a great start feeding her - it does get easier (all of it not just the feeding) but you are probably knackered and it feels really hard when you are in the thick of it, too tired to stand up and feeling bewildered by this small screaming person. We've all been there and it will get better.
I can totally symptathise, I remember my 2nd baby doing this.
Someone suggested a homeopathic remedy to me for colic, called colocynth. It's absolutely amazing. They are totally safe from birth as they disolve immediately in the mouth. They were so effective I've stocked up already for this time and think I'll need to use them soon, my 3 day old has been very colicy in the evenings.
HTH and it will pass, honestly. I know it really doesn't feel like it right now though.
Good luck and hope you can get some rest.
Hi Sam, I can remember this, and it is really scary as it does feel like it will last forever doesn't it? I remember people saying things like it gets better at 2/3/4 months and it feeling like a life sentence.
We found that the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques worked a bit for our DS - the five Ss -
swaddling (our lives depended on the Swaddleme until DS was 12 weeks old),
shushing (recorded white noise - DH recorded our tumble drier for 10mins and we played it for all naps and nights)
side (or stomach) position - this helps some babies' digestion. Didn't notice it so much for ours at the time, but since 13weeks (when he was no longer swaddled) we have always settled him for sleep on his side and it seems to he working.
swinging - this really means jiggling. We found that holding our little one upright and then bumping from side to side really helped if he was crying hard.
sucking - this could be trying a dummy when you're trying to settle DD, or comfort feeding. It may not feel like it at the time, but I came to be very thankful that BFing would comfort my little one, when nothing else seemed to. That bobbing on and off phase does go - try the NCT BFing helpline for some ideas on what to try, as they told me it could be my milk coming too quickly, but in any case DD will adapt to that.
Baby massage helped my DS enormously - really seemed to settle him generally and we were taught a simple anti-colic/wind massage that I did three times a day and really helped him.
The other thing is survival techniques:
Feed lying down, so you and DD can both fall asleep if you feel like it (good for afternoon naps I found)
Get your DH to help with winding/settling the baby in the night as much as he can, so you only have to do the feeding. This will quickly wear him out if he is working, so call in any day or night-time help you can (mum/MIL/sisters etc). If you can afford it, a postnatal doula may be able to help you during the day, and if you can afford it, a Night Nanny will take the baby from 9pm-7am for around £90 per night. But with agency fees, this quickly works out to be quite an expensive option. We were desperate though!
Sorry for such a long post, but hope there is something in here that helps.
This time does pass, and try to remember to have as many cuddles and smiles with DD and DH as you can - it really will help.
Best of luck.
Sorry, forgot a couple of other things that other people kindly shared with me when I was desperate - a sling or carrier can really help with a colicy baby - the motion sends some of them off to sleep (only worked occasionally with me), so pop them in and get moving.
The other thing was one of those enormous cradle swing things. I would try to borrow someone elses to try before investing, as we spent £120 on one for our DS (we were REALLY desperate) and of course he didn't fall asleep in it.
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