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are there any breastfeeding experts about ?? (long)

(18 Posts)
jammi Thu 21-Aug-08 20:20:17

Message withdrawn

thisisyesterday Thu 21-Aug-08 20:34:16

1.) HV is a twat. the vast majority of babies are NOT sleeping through by 6.5 months. just take a look at many threads on here, many of us are still feeding much older children in the night.
If he is waking up hungry and she is happy to feed him then I see no problem

2.) her supply should be fine by now. and replacing one feed with formula will be ok IF that is what she wants to do. losing the hard feeling is normal

3.) yes, she could drop down to just morning and evening feeds. but she is also entitled to express at work if she wants to so that baby can have ebm at nursery or wherever he'll be

4.) her husband needs to be notified that the H is a twat. a return to demand feeding means a return to the BEST possible food for their child. it isn't a step backwards, it's more a "hmm, not sure we've done the right thing, let's go back to how it was"

5.) plenty of mothers breastfeed and go back to work. she will be fine, and if she wants to continue breastefeding there is no reason why she shouldn't.

6.) baby jars are ok. fresh food is better I think, I mean, I wouldn't want to live off ready meals. But they certainly aren't evil, i've used them more with baby 2 than I did with 1, just for the convenience. But it's nice to cook and feed that to baby when you can IMO.

I think she needs to think about what SHE wants for baby. if she wants to exclusively breastfeed, and isn't happy giving formula then she needs to go back to that. it doesn't matter what other people think.
I (as I am sure other people have too) have given up the thought of being out at bedtime for the time being, because I feed ds2 to sleep.
I am fine with this. so is dp. my mother isn't, but that's a whole other thread! lol
anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is that stoppping breastfeeding, or reducing it and risking perhaps lowering supply etc could be something she regrets, and it is ultimately her decision to make., no-one elses, not even her dp's.
oh and btw, if baby will take formula from a bottle he could take EBM for dad to use if mum is out at bedtime

StellaWasADiver Thu 21-Aug-08 20:34:58

I'm not an expert on anything but I have to say it is a shame that the HV isn't supporting her choices and offering practical advice, rather than undermining her decisions and telling her how things 'should' be.

I do think a baby of 6.5 months is likely to be hungry at night - my 10 month old still feeds once in the night and usually early morning (5am ish) as well. I know I couldn't go 12 hours without something to eat or drink so I couldn't expect my DS to!

I hope she can join Mumsnet, without this place I'd be so stressed about everything.

2Happy Thu 21-Aug-08 20:43:51

The only thing wrt bfeeding I would say I am an "expert" on is the idea that if a bfedding mother is confused about a health visitor's advice and thinks she ought to follow it but it goes against her instincts, she should trust her instincts!! HVs get a worryingly small amount of teaching about bfeeding, so what they know they pick up when they are on placements, which means if they have a placement with an old-fashioned, clueless HV, then they will be... well, a little out of touch, shall we say.
She should do what she feels she would like to do both for herself and her baby, and if that goes against what the HV suggests, it really doesn't matter a jot.
FWIW I have returned to work twice while bfeeding, and managed to both express, and duck out of work (sometimes twice a day). But I also know people who (also PT workers) were unable to feed, the baby had water/formula at nursery, fed masses when they got home, and made up for it. If she's worried about return to work, she needs to speak to work about it.

littlepig Thu 21-Aug-08 21:00:25

I don't know whether to be relieved that night feeding in 6+ month old babies is apparently still normal and likely to cotinue to go on for some time... or to cry as I'm getting really tired from 7 months of broken sleep and had been hoping that my ds might start sleeping through at any minute!

PS - after an unsuccessful month of attempting to give my baby home-cooked food I've switched to jars just so he'll start eating solids. Is my cooking that bad?? blush

littlepig Thu 21-Aug-08 21:01:55

(My DH says it's not smile)

2Happy Thu 21-Aug-08 21:05:02

My ds2 refused all forms of solids until he was 7.5m old. Some kids just take a while, it doesn't matter. (Though, of course, my HV said it was because I'd missed his weaning window by waiting until he was 6m to start instead of putting him on babyrice at 4m hmm)

2Happy Thu 21-Aug-08 21:06:13

((oh and, sorry, he's still a shite sleeper now at 19m. Though probably if I ever saw my HV she'd probably say it's because he's bfed, and I should put him on formula and that'd sort him hmm))

thisisyesterday Thu 21-Aug-08 21:12:07

lol 2happy, quite. I haven't seen a HV since ds2 was 6 weeks old, and don't intend to. more trouble than they're worth most of thet ime

jetgirl Thu 21-Aug-08 21:12:43

littlepig - it has taken 3 months of offering my DS homecooked food before he trusted it and started developing an appetite - it does take them a while to get used to it - and trust me whatever you have cooked will taste nicer than the jars. Have you tried one? And my DS is 9 months and still not sleeping through so you have my sympathy!

jammi - you sound like a good friend smile
Both my children were still bfed on my return to work. DS takes expressed milk to nursery on the days I'm at work, and I epxress at home when i get home in the evening (my day at work can be short so I don't usually need to express at work, though facilities are provided) In addition, both were demand fed (DS still is) and though it can be knackering when he decides he's hungry at 2am, it's a damn sight easier to bf than bottlefeed (though a man probably wouldn't understand that - my DH offers to warm up EBM but the waiting just annoys DS all the more). Feeding my DS in the evening after work is a lovely way to reconnect with him after we've been apart for the day.

I will say I agree about the jars of food, they all taste the same IMO, though as others have said, they do have their place, if you're out for example a lot of places won't heat homemade food, but will do jars for you. I do batch cooking and freezing, which isn't much of a hassle really, and way cheaper than jars in the long run.

EffiePerine Thu 21-Aug-08 21:19:37

I went back to work after 6 months, DS bfd until 21 mo. Expressed at work (three times a day to start with, then twie, then once), stopped expressing and just gave water/juice from about 10 mo.

The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley is good on epectations re: night feeding and night waking, and gentle ways to help thing get better

6.5 months is v v young - if her HV thinks all babies should be sleeping through and not feeding by then she is a complete LOON.

re settling to sleep, even at his worst DS would settle really well for DS. If he knew I was there he wanted to be fed, but he realised pretty early on that DH couldn;t manage that one grin. She can work on a bedtime routine that her DHc an follow (e.g. bath, story, milk, bed), substituting bottle or cup for bf

EffiePerine Thu 21-Aug-08 21:20:35

DS would settle for Dh

littlepig Thu 21-Aug-08 21:22:37

Cheers, jetgirl.

Was interested in your return-to-work experience. I've got a couple of months yet and had imagined that I'd have DS down to morning and night BF with water or whatever and solid 'normal' food in between... now not so sure. At the moment I'm thinking I'll give the nursery some formula milk (which he likes to drink cold out of a normal cup, albeit with a bit of help and a bit of mess sometimes!) as well as water for the 3 days he's there. Don't know whether to keep this consistent when I have him the other 4 days or to BF OD... anyone got any other experience/ thoughts on this.

And as for the jars... I do taste them (only fair, I reckon and also to check temperature) and some of them are not bad and some are rotten but he will take them. My master plan is to get him looking for solid food and then hold him to ransom by switching to 'real' food or nothing grin hmm

EffiePerine Thu 21-Aug-08 21:24:38

littlepig: I went back 3 days a week to start with then 4 days. DS had EBM or water when I was at work, then bfed as normal when I was home. Seemed to work it out pretty quickly

The only pain was that hwe also worked out I was around at night so started waking even more for feeds...

littlepig Thu 21-Aug-08 21:34:29

I was afraid of that too... he's already tending to do that if I try and encourage him towards a more solid diet. The problem is he likes booby juice while cuddling mummy; no getting away from it. (Bottles of EBM are no more acceptable than bottles of formula)

jammi Thu 21-Aug-08 22:19:34

Message withdrawn

tiktok Fri 22-Aug-08 10:08:28

jammi - not sure what you are asking. Start a new thread??

Tryharder Fri 22-Aug-08 21:45:33

PMSL at Thisisyesterday's "HV is a twat" comment! Havent been a MN member for very long but have already noted that HVs are not very popular on here. Mines quite nice actually - she knows naff all about bf but at least she doesnt pretend to and offers no advice whatsoever.

As for returning to work. I just cut out the feeds that I do when i am at work and the childminder gave formula instead - had a few days of leaky boobs but supply readjusted. Didnt worry about it as DS1 was already 7mo at the time and was eating plenty solids. Will do the same for DS2 when time comes. I know I could express at work but believe me, you wouldnt want to express where I work. My line manager said that if I wanted they'd provide a separate fridge for me - the look of relief on his face when i declined was priceless.

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