Really need some help/advice - think I want to cut down/stop bfing my 5mth old ds

[peggotty]

I'm really all over the place with my feelings about bfing at the moment so I apologise in advance if my post is a bit rambly or nonsensical! My ds will be 6 months in a few weeks. He is a very demanding baby and I have found him very hard work in general. His feeding is still pretty much totally erratic and he feeds badly during the day, completely distracted or pulling off lots to look round or crying. He needs to be carried a lot and is only really happy sitting on my knee or being carried. he still feeds probably every 1.5 to maximum 3 hours during the day, and ranging from every 3 to 6 hours at night! He is fed to sleep at night and now for naps as well (he sleeps badly during the day) Basically I feel completely suffocated by him always being physically 'on me' iykwim and would like to think about cutting down or stopping bfing. Would it be possible to cut down day feeds and keep up feeding at night without my supply drying up? I am worried that if I do stop completely then he will become impossible to get to sleep and comfort as he uses breast for both. I've never been able to get much expressing, so that's not an option. I really don't know what to do.

[jellyrolly]

Poor you, breastfeeding can be exhausting so no wonder you need a break with the amount you're doing.

Your supply shouldn't dry up if you gradually change your pattern, remember a lot of people are breastfeeding during the day and then nothing for 12 hours at night, so your body will adjust. I would do it gradually though as you will feel quite hormonal and emotional so be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time.

Your ds is lucky to have such a caring mummy and it won't do him any harm to have a few less breast feeds. Good luck.

[BouncingTurtle]

Peggotty - you have just described my ds, who is 25 weeks. It is bloody hard isn't it?
People have reassured me that it will get better. I've just started weaning him, but it'll probably take a few weeks for him to settle down into some kind of routine (he is all over the place with naps and feeds atm).
This is probably not very helpful but just wanted to tell you you are not alone!

[peggotty]

Thanks jelly and BT, I have found bfing so emotionally draining in some ways. Was hell to get started, was ok for a bit, then I quite enjoyed it, then he started his crap feeding in the day. at one point I thought I would keep going til he's a year, but I can't see that now. I really think that he is such a demanding personality that it would never 'settle down' to a feed in the morning and one a night as it seems to do with older babies. I just feel stifled by him. But I also feel 'trapped' bfing as he will not take a bottle and also uses bfing as sleep-aid and comforting. Obviously, this is not his fault. I love him so much and want to do the best for him but I really need some physical space away from him sometimes

[peggotty]

Stella, he has been teething and also has a bad cold atm so he's been up extra loads at night recently and i'm bloody knackered. This has also made him more demanding during the day. My mum and sis keep going on that I should stop now as well...

[jellyrolly]

My ds1 and ds2 were exactly the same peggotty. Absolutely crap feeders, ds1 didn't latch on for 2 months, both totally distracted using the ever elastic nipple to crane their necks around the room if you so much as sighed!

How I envy those people who snuggle down to watch the tv for their long feeding sessions.

Rest assured that it is because you ds is very intelligent a.k.a. a demanding baby. You will reap rewards in later life when he becomes a top surgeon or lawyer.

[3littlefrogs]

Being distracted easily while feeding is normal at this age. It is a temporary phase and i remember it with all of mine.

If he has a cold and is teething, could his nose be blocked? Perhaps he is finding it difficult to feed because he can't breath through his nose? Saline drops before feeds can really help to clear it.

[peggotty]

I just keep waiting for the 'easy' phase of bfing, but it's not coming! He has been feeding badly in the day for weeks and weeks so it's not this cold that's doing it -although it's certainly not helping atm of course.

[francagoestohollywood]

Much sympathy with the need of physical space. 5 months is a bit odd, they seem hungrier. My first ds was a very demanding baby, but luckily took very well to solids, which helped to decrease the number of feeds. I stop breastfeeding him when he was 10 months, he loved his food and didn't seem so fond of the boob as he had been as a baby. The need of some physical space was overwhelming. He was fine.

[Caz10]

hi pegotty

yet another one here, who as you know has the same problem...we're at 27wks now and dd is slightly better - but only slightly, and I have not fed in public for ages as it is a bloody carry on!

I would say the same as everyone else has in that it will get better - BUT I know it's hard when you come on here really hating bf-ing and everyone just says "it will get better"! Re cutting down - people do it to go back to work etc so can't see why it wouldn't work for you if you wanted to mix feed a little - someone on here recently said that they just replaced the lunchtime bf with a bottle of formula, their supply was fine, and it gave them that teeny break.

However I'm sure someone else could come along and say they did that and their milk supply dropped away...could you speak to a BFC in real life? The BfN have always been v helpful to me.

Sorry not much advice, but mucho sympathy!

[francagoestohollywood]

He'll be six months soon and you can start solids then, of course you can't predict how he'll react, but his feeding pattern might change (for the better)?

[peggotty]

Hello Caz, have been trying to get him to take a bottle for the last couple of days and it's been a right old hoo-ha. First day he took a couple of ounces, 1 ounce yesterday and nowt today and that was with my dh giving him the bottle - bah! I am on one of my 'I hate bfing' days you could say, and tbh I am finding this stage harder than any other, even the 6 hour feedathons he used to have when he was tiny. Glad to hear things are still a bit better for you.

[peggotty]

Yes franca, I am really hoping that solids will regulate his feeding a bit, and that he won't want/need to bf as much. That in itself will be a break.

[mumofmoo]

DD was a nightmare that age. Franca has a point, DD's feeding pattern settled down when she started solids so it might be worth holding out for a few more weeks and see how it goes.