Help me i am going cold turkey

[Slink]

I know some may think it is harsh, but let me explain, dd is 16months not feeding great as depending on bf, clingy won't leave my side for a moment... we go to the toliet she sits in the shower with me she will not let anyone including dh to settle her play with her do anything with her she is not walking she holds my finger all day or wants to be carried. I am 37 in a weeks time and i wanted her i am not enjoying it anymore. I have tried the slow one feed at a time and it does not work. Today alone we have been in the car twice so she can sleep,when we are home she cries, at the moment she is happy to play with big dd (6) I know i have messed up BIG TIME i am sore and at the end of the line i just cry she is sooooo hard work, i want to go out with friends but she can't be left.

Desperate moan over thank you for listeningx

[jellyrolly]

Woah there Slink, you haven't messed up big time, you're just doing your best like the rest of the mums.

What stage of cold turkey are you at?

[Slink]

today is my first day, and i am not as engorged as i thought i would be which leads me to believe that i am just being used as a dummie, having said that she has taken a bottle for the first time drank about 7 ounces today which is fab, night time will be the worst time. Thank you for replying xx

[gagarin]

Good luck with tonight.

It's tough but she'll have forgotten how to do it within a week. Stopping breast feeding doesn't equal stopping loving her.

Keep your breast pump handy - and don't sit down or give in!

Don't swap one habit for another at night - careful with singing/rocking/driving the car at 2 am etc. Offer her a bottle of milk or water and send your dp in to her.

[Slink]

Thank you gagarin i know alot of people do not agree but i have tried everything and i really hate bf now. But yes your right dh and i have a plan (not the same as dd's i am sure) she is in the garden at the moment with dh happy not to have seen me for an hour while i have a soak in the bath. thank you again

[moondog]

I don't think it's harsh.
You have done tremendously well so feel proud.
At this stage,it's often a case of out of sight out of mind so go and enjoy some freedom!

[Slink]

thanks moondog well we are preparing for bed, she is in the bath with dh and big dd so fingers crossed on a good night i am shattered and feeling full now and painful. xx

[ib]

She's 16 months, not such a baby any more. We are currently night weaning ds (also 16 m) and what is working well is lots of praise for being such a big boy that he doesn't need to feed at night any more.

I thought it would be a huge trauma but to be honest it really hasn't been. Good luck tonight.

[Slink]

I gave in but only a little. I gave a feed at 8pm because i was so huge and sore and she kept slapping my boob, then again at 1.30 and 4am but i feel better that i did not feed to her to sleep she fed at 8pm slept at 9pm with a story and circuling the bed. Today no feeds so it's the nights i am setting as my next task.

[kayzisexpecting]

Good Luck for tonight.

[IdreamofClooney]

Hi Slink

I had a similar experience with DS who was about 14 months at the time.

He ended up hardly eating as taking so much breastmilk, which he did all at night..... I had just gone back to work full time so ended up having to put quite an abrupt end to BF.

I had wanted him to self wean but I reckon if I hadn;t just gone cold turkey he would still be feeding now at 2.10

In my expereince it was hellish for a few days then he seemed to forget all about it (which was actually sad for me as I loved feeding him).

Good luck

[Slink]

IDREAMOFCLOONEY thank you, this is the second day and it has not been as bad as i thought, actually easier seeing as big dd was at school and dh at work. It's just the night i need to do. I want to go out for a meal and be able to leave her. I did love bf and yesterday when i did feed at 8pm she smiled and i melted........ they are so clever these babies.

[jellyrolly]

Good luck tonight. If it's any consolation, even when you do to your 'plan' it's still an emotional and hormonal roller coaster.

Don't be too hard on yourself, you've done really well so far. Tackle the nights when you have some strength back.

What Gagarin says is so true, stopping breastfeeding doesn't equal stopping loving.

Good luck.