Help 12 month old feeding all night and won't go in cot!

[dollyjack]

Any ideas here. My 12 month old has basically slept with my husband and I in our bed from day one. He has hardly ever gone in his cot ( he won't go in the pram either but we can live with that one for now) he was quite ill recently and all he wanted was the comfort of breast feeding in bed. Now, of course, he spends all night hassling me for the breast. I've tried cuddling him and patting him etc but he's blind only to the breast. In fact he pushes me off and just points at my chest. Health visitor is suggesting controlled crying. Can anyone who has tried this give me some advice on how you did it etc? I need a methodology here. I'm totally happy breast feeding and had intended to go on till he is two (he's allergic to milk so kind of have to) Health visitor also thinks I may not be giving him enough fat in his diet during day which may also be leading to the mamouth night feeds. Truth be told I know he's only doing it for comfort. It used to be fine him sleeping in the bed but now he's up all night and I need some solutions.

[mehdismummy]

hi had the same problem with ds he also has always slept with me since birth. I dont believe in cc. He use to wake me up all the time wanting it. He still wakes me up wanting it. What helped with me is i have to work nights so dh looks after him until i finish at one am. So obviously he could not have milk. That may be worth a go. Letting dh go to him its better than cc and he may create for a bit but will be ok. I also found feeding him a good last meal especially pasta and pudding. Also bf before sleep helped. I also still bf until he is two another month away but he has just slowed right up just sucking a tiny bit. So may just let him self wean. Found that he is a lot happier and contented because i co slept and bf though how about you

[dollyjack]

Hi Mehdismummy. Just had another hideous night of constant feeding. I am so tired I'm seeing things this morning! I hate hate the idea of CC as I've never let my DS cry - hence why he won't go in pram probably too. I love sharing a bed with DS but I can't be doing with all the wake ups in the night for milk. I have breast fed and co slept with him now for nearly the year and it was fine until this constant need for feeds started. I think I'll give him lots more food before bed too that's a very good idea but I think the co sleeping and breast feeding are so linked now that both will have to go at once. My DS is allergic to milk so will have to wait a week before I can give him formula soya to replace the breast feeds.

[mehdismummy]

good morning. I have woken up with the feeling that some builders are inside my head drilling! Bloody flu. How long has ds been like this. Could he be teethin or is he unwell? I think you are gonna find it really hard to give up both at the same time. You dont have to do cc you can do pick up put down. May be sacred of cot? Get book of baby whisperer by tracey hogg. She is brilliant before you start she has got a case in there just like yours. Also like i said would dh be prepared to go to ds and give him water?

[dollyjack]

Hi there. Sorry about the drilling feeling! Yes DH could give him water no problem. Can you explain the pick up put down thing for me?

[mehdismummy]

hi there. Still got a headache unusual for me. Anyway the pick up put down goes like this. When baby starts to cry pick him up and calm him. Do not say anything give eye contact anything. As soon as he stops put him down. You may have to repeat this over one hundred times but i watched her do it on her tv show and it worked it took about five days to a week but it worked . She does recommend dh does it though. I cant talk at all because ds still sleeps with me! Dh not from culture that works very early mornings and could not do it. Get the book its worth it. Did you try the pasta thing. Or may be tonight letting dh give him water. If you gonna do pick up thing get yourselves prepared its sole destroying and babys are great actors!

[TheOldestCat]

Hi dollyjack - not much advice from me because I'm in a similar situation with 14-month DD. Knackering isn't it? Just wanted to say you're not alone.

Mehdismummy - also thanks from me for the ideas.

[mehdismummy]

it sure is knackering! But worth it. I also have found not letting ds sleep after two pm helps.. Making sure he gets tired out in afternoon. Use to run him round park in nice weather. Now he is bigger i make his bath warmer at night. I am gonna put him in his own bed next to mine next week but just gonna do it slowly slowly. As i said loads times before they grow up so quickly soon especially boys! We will find it hard to get even a kiss so i am enjoying it whilst it lasts. My mum says that all babies are different and we should encourage them to be! My dad god rest him. Use to stay up at night spoon feeding me carnation milk because i would not take milk and i loved that man with all my heart. Do any of you give you babies juice? I found out that fruit shoots keep him awake

[dollyjack]

HI there everyone. Had good night last night as DS and I slept in the bed in the spare room. Meant more space in the bed between me and DS and so he slept soundly for much longer. I have a theory that my husband and I wake him up in the night as we move about in our sleep. The other thing is if I'm close to him he can smell the milk. Do you find that the minute you put your baby in the cot he goes mad? Even when DS is fast asleep and we move him he just seems to know that he's in cot and wakes up and cries. I have to say that last night he went down at 7 after a pasta dinner as recommended by Mehdismummy and some bread and he stayed down till half ten which is amazing for him. He was in the bed on his own as usual (don't worry all safe and with lots round him so he can't climb out) until I went up to him and it was me going into the bed that woke him up.

[mehdismummy]

well done. I have always just slept with just me and ds. Poor old dh on his own! Actually finished work last night at two in morning. Got home and found ds asleep on dh. Heart warming stuff! Amazing how sweet they are when they asleep! Still got this headache however. Ds hates his cot he use to let me put him in it but now wants to be in bed. My theory is he is too big and bangs himself and wakes up! There is a special chapter in book about baby who wont go in cot. Perhaps little man just is still feeling rough and needs mummy. Glad pasta worked. Shepherds pie good and roasts too. Anything basically really filling. Glad its going ok. Keep updating. Ds get bed tomorrow. V excited!

[mehdismummy]

hi there how did little man get on last night? Mine had a awful night. I still have this awful awful headache. Tried migraleve everything. He now laying on daddys pull out bed(daddy got some random friend of a friend staying so given up his room)watching tv holding my hand. Bless him.sure he think that makes up for keeping me awake most of night!

[dollyjack]

Hi Mehdismummy we are doing fine. Sorry to hear about the bad heads. Maybe you need more sleep?! I looked up our dilema on the search facility on here and found something really interesing by a DR JAY GERBER about how to wean babies over one off the night feeding without all the CC etc. He's an attachment parenting Doc so is pro co sleeping. I'll try and find the link and see what you think. I'm thinking I may do his method. What it adds up to basically is NOT feeding in the night between the hours of 11 and 6. It's a lot less brutal than the CC.