When will LO self wean??????

[lyndyloo]

My 12 month old has always been a boobaholic. On the days she is not at nursery she still feeds around 5 times a day and still wakes for a feed at 4am ish : (

She uses bfing to get to sleep too so is heavily dependent on me. I would like to continue bfing but wish she would cut down a bit. Surely she can't need this much milk? She eats fairly well and has plenty of yoghurt and cheese etc.

I would be more happy with just a morning and bedtime feed but suppose I can't force it on her. My main problem is that I think I still need to express at work for the days I am with her, to keep supply going. It is really difficult and my job doesn't really lend itself to this.

When can I expect self weaning? Can I help her along? What are the signs?

Thanks - any info/advice gratefully accepted!

[reikizen]

Why can't you force it on her? That sounds awful! But all I mean is you make choices and decisions for your children all the time and sometimes (horror of horrors) they may be to make life easier for you. On the other hand my dd1 was also addicted to milk and I just went with it until dd2 came along and everything changed. All I can offer really is that dd2 is already being 'pushed' in terms of weaning much more than number one for practical reasons and it's working okay, she eats much more food at 8 months than dd1 did at 12 months.

[Amberjee]

hello lyndy, its uncommon for babies to self wean before 18 months, but can happen if encouraged by mother. self weaning occurs when the baby/toddler no longer has the need to nurse (for food and psychologically). because its initiated by the child, its hard to say when it would happen for your LO.
at 12 months, you may be able to cut down some of the feeds and continue as you want to, say morning and night as you suggest. one suggestion is to offer a sippy cup instead at one of the feeds and gradually cut down this way. some mums have success with just offering water if their LO wakes at night, and soon they figure out its not worth waking. to cut down during the day, you could try 'don't offer, don't refuse' method, so only if ds is asking for it, will you give her a feed. you can also try changing the routines etc, going out when you expect her to demand a feed, doing something else, distracting her, engaging her in other activities etc.

good luck xx

[beansprout]

I made sure that ds had 3 feeds a day (morning, lunch and bedtime) but not at other times. If he asked, I would just distract him which worked pretty well. This took away the difficult "on demand" element but he was still getting the benefits of breastmilk.

[pornstarswife]

my lo self weaned this week he is 22 months. He was a complete boobaholic and a few months ago I would of bet money on ending up on a ch5 documentary but no he's all grown up and wants his cup now!
The signs were - handing me back my bra and asking for a cup of tea

[lilyfire]

I went back to work 3 days a week when ds1 was 9.5 months. I fed him morning and evening every day and during the day when he wanted it on the days I was around. I didn't express at work at all, but didn't seem that supply was a problem. I only say this as he always seemed ok when feeding, never seemed frustrated. He wanted to feed less when he started walking properly at about 13 months, as there were lots more interesting things to do and stopped being interested just before 18 months, so I stopped offering then.

[lyndyloo]

Great advice ladies. Think I will try the distraction thing for during day. Will also not express during day as I was thinking that my supply will probably be OK.

It's the night feeds I am dreading cutting out but won't do that for a while if cutting down in other parts of the day.

Thanks again.

[Amberjee]

after 12 months, your supply should be fine without expressing, will just adapt easily to when LO is feeding

[lyndyloo]

So if I don't feed during days when LO at nursery should still be OK for the days when she's with me? I suppose I should be as only expressing 2 oz at 11 am so not going to make much difference if I stop I guess.

I may keep the pretence I am expressing up though - gets me half an hour in a locked office at work. Could put my feet up, have a cuppa and then a little snooze on the desk!!! No one would know any different!

TBH I think nursing mothers should get a break whether bfing or not - sooooo tiring!

[Amberjee]

if you're still feeding morning and night on the days you work, shouldn't be a problem with supply. of course if you do feel too full, might need to express, but i know many mums by that stage don't need to.