help me please :( I’m messing this all up

[Finished90]

Hi I’m really hoping someone can help because I’m at my wits end with my DD’s feeding issues and I honestly don’t think I can cope much longer.

DD is 4.5 months old and FF. We recently had a visit from the HV who said she isn’t putting on weight (isn’t losing but not gaining) and told me I need to start offering 5oz every 3-4 hours. I’ve been doing that for a couple of weeks now but her feeding has got a lot worse. She will only take 2oz every 4 hours. It can take me up to an hour forcing her to have an extra ounce and a half with lots of tears, spitting out, thrashing etc. I feel awful but I’m so worried about her weight. She can go 10 hours only having 5oz no matter what we do.

On the odd occasion she’ll have 4oz but that’s very rare normally it’s 2 and I force another ounce and a half. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong as I breast fed my toddler so I never knew what she was taking, she was gaining weight and that was that.

She definitely associates bottle with sleep as often her feed time coincides with nap time but I have tried to make sure she has it away from nap time when she’s fresh and not tired, makes no difference. She’s up every 30-60 mins all night long but doesn’t want a drink she refuses the bottle no matter how much I persist. Just a cuddle and wants to be put back down.

I don’t know what to do, please help me. I’m at my mums at the moment and will go see the doctor when I’m home but I just feel finished I have a permanent headache I’m so stressed my hair is falling out and thinning. I have anxiety and this has been a massive trigger. Please help me someone.

[Wait4nothing]

Is she otherwise ok apart from the lack of weight gain? Normal nappies and happy enough when awake? If so I think I’d offer but not force and keep doing what you’re doing with the keeping her awake (I used to try a bottle after a nap to help with this - didn’t always work).

[pemberleypearl]

She could have reflux which is affecting her feeding. You could try a dose of Infacol in her bottle and/or bring her to GP.

I've been there and it's so tough and incredibly frustrating and worrying. Stay strong you're doing a great job.

[Wait4nothing]

My dd went from 75%ile at birth and for her first few months to 50%ile at around 3 months (through not putting on as quickly rather than losing). I worried at first but she’s still around 50th now at 1.5y so I think that’s just what she’s meant to be.

[Finished90]

Thank you so much for your responses.

wait

She’s absolutely fine, normal nappies etc.

pearl

Thank you. I don’t think it’s reflux, she does spit up occasionally but that’s normally when she’s guzzled down 4 ounces way too fast (those rare feeds) and she’s definitely not in any pain when it happens or after she’s fed etc.
she does get very irritable whilst feeding, doesn’t seem to suck with a continuous flow if that makes sense, she keeps turning her face etc but there’s no pain thankfully.

[pemberleypearl]

Okay I thought reflux because you mentioned thrashing and my daughter would arch her back terribly.

Perhaps change to a different teat size?

[secmumlaley]

This must be so stressful for you. I wouldn't know what to do. The only thing I can think of is trying any different teats or bottles?

Really hope it improves soon. X

[Marcine]

What does she weigh and how much does she drink over 24 hours? What centile is she on?