evening feeding / routine has gone haywire! please help!

[ratfly]

my baby is 11 weeks old. He is mostly breastfed, but has a bottle (only 2oz)at 6.30ish (so hubby can give it) and a bottle of EBM (4oz) at 11pm. He is feeding roughly 3 hourly, with 4 hours between feeds at night.
Until last week, our routine (which he set) was:
wake and eatat 6.30, play til 8, sleep 8.30 - 9.30
eat: 9.30, play til 10.30, sleep 11 - 12.30
eat: 12.30, play til 1.30, sleep 2 - 3.30
then cluster feeding 3.30, 5ish with no sleep inbetween
short nap at 5.30 - 6
6pm bath and massage, bottle at 6.30 ish
sleep 7 - 11pm
feed 11pm, 3.30am, 6.30 am
Now, his daytime routine is the same, but he has started to refuse his 6.30pm feed (1oz if we are lucky), and is taking only 1-2oz of his 11pm feed. At his 6.30pm feed he is inconsolable, and we have to put him in he cot and let him cry as nothing we can do will settle him, we think he is overtired. I hate doing this, but we have no choice - any holding, shh-ing etc makes him cry more.
As a result (I think), he has been waking in the night at 1.30am, 3.30am and 5,30am to feed. He has a full feed at all of these times.
This is really wearing me out, as I am getting hardly any sleep.
Any ideas WHY his routine has changed? Or how to get it back on track? Why is he refusing his bottle all of a sudden?
He had a cold, which put his day routine out but not his night, but now his day routine is ok but not his evening one.

[foxymagoo]

I know how distressing it is when your routine seems to be going to pot! From what I remember (my ds is 10 months) and the routine I was following then it recommended you don't let baby sleep longer than 3.5 hours between 7am and 7pm if you want them to settle well at bedtime.

IMO it sounds like your ds is getting too much daytime sleep which is making him not tired enought for bedtime. Also is he more aware of you and wanting you rather than daddy feeding him at bedtime?

DS used to take a good 20 minutes to settle at betime and we would take turns to sit with him to reassure him that he was ok and slowly this time was reduced.

Its so hard trying to work out what is going on - take heart that it does get easier. I refer to the first 3 months as 'the dark times'..

[BizzyDint]

have you tried bf instead of the bottle at 6?

[ratfly]

foxy - lol at the dark times! At lease it shows it does get better!

TBH I am rather generous about his nap times - tops during the day he will sleep 4 hours really. I put down 2 x 1 1/2 hour sleeps, but they are often closer to 1 hour.

The main issue is really that NOTHING has changed in our routine except the bottle refusing and the night wakings. The rest of the time he is a perfectly happy and predictable baby. Then at 6 ish he becomes pure evil for no apparent reason..

[JustAnotherMoaner]

I'd say that perhaps he is getting too much daytime sleep.

Now the weather is warmer, maybe you could take him in the garden or to the park and pop him on a blanket somewhere shady and let hiom get some fresh air. DS2 (who is 7 months) loves doing this, and a bit of frsh air will help to knacker him out. Take this opportunity to read a book etc.

[ratfly]

No, I havent tried bf instead of bottle at 6. TBH I am a bit reluctant to do so (would seem like a step backwards), but I might give it a try tomorrow and see if that makes any difference..

[Jenkeywoo]

maybe he's just doing this because he's a baby and he doesn't know he's meant to perform to a routine - none of mine have had regular feeding pattern as I demand fed them. Even now DD who is 1 may have loads of evening feeds or may not then may feed all night. 11 weeks is very little and maybe he just needs his milk in the night. I would feel inclined to try BF for the 6pm feed - if DH wants to feed him perhaps he can do one of the middle of the night feeds to give you a break? Have you tried wearing him in a sling when he is really upset and over-tired - I found mine were quite cross when I first put them in but being held tighly to my chest next to my heartbeat (I had a wrap sling) soon lulled then into a lovely sleep - DH could also wear the sling if he wants to help. Good luck, I know how painful the night wakings are, I hope you get it sorted out but it is quite possible your baby may keep you up for some time to come

[ratfly]

Just an update - today I let him cluster feed (on and off the breast every 20 mins for 1 and a half hours!), and gave a bottle with a vari-flow teat on part way through.

He went down at 7 ({as he used to) and hasn't woken YET. Will let you know how the night went in the morning. Fingers crossed.

[Jenkeywoo]

well done ratfly - so far so good! DD used to cluster feed for about 2 hours at that age but then she did sleep well, I reckon they need to be tanked up for sleep at this age. Good luck and sleepy vibes going your way.

[ratfly]

Just an update:

My new regime is for the bottle of EBM that dh gives at 11 to use a vari flow teat. He has taken 5oz from that the past 2 nights.

I cluster feed from 4ish til about 6, then bath, massage and dh gives a bottle at 6.30/7 - he only takes about 1 or 2 oz, but at least isnt fussing as bad as he was.

the first night he woke up almost hourly again, and I was exhausted the next day.
Last night he woke at the normal time (3.30 am) then woke himself up farting at 5.30. I fed him, then again at 6.30 to try to get him back to sleep. So, not too bad so far.
Hopefully he has fallen back into routine again...

[foxymagoo]

woke himself up by farting - - that's boys for you!

Good to hear you had a better night last night... Your ds may also be going through a growth spurt and needing more calories.

The trick is too not get too anxious if things seem to be going awry (sp?). I remember ds refusing to bf at 5 weeks and one call to NHS 24 later we were at out of hours doctor getting him checked over - feel a bit about it but everyhting revolves around their feeding and sleeping at that age and its hard not to overreact.

Your ds's feeding should start to space out once he is 3-4 months old and then you will hopefully have a couple of golden months of him sleeping through the night... until weaning starts and a whole new ball game!