Breastfeeding and irritation

[WinkyWinkola]

I'm still bfing my 23 month old boy. I'm also 36 weeks pg.
Since moving house and starting nursery 2 x afternoons per week, DS has become more and more demanding for bf. He gets really upset if I say no if I'm cooking, for example. I realise he might be feeling unsettled, insecure, etc so I do feed him more than I used to (at bedtime and nap times only before).
I thought I'd be fine with tandem feeding if that's what happened but my nipples are so sore and I'm getting really irritable when I'm feeding him and I'm overtired. I'm worried the timing is now all cocked up because the new baby is coming soon and could displace him even more if I stop bfing DS now.
I'm worried that it's just all going to be too much with new baby and 2 yo DS both wanting bf and there's going to be much distress when I have to put nutritional needs of new baby before DS bfing needs.
What to do? Do I stop bfing? See how it goes with the two of them? Be more strict with DS's bfing and revert back to bed and nap times only and go with the tears and tantrums when I refuse at other times?
Sorry to be so long and garbled. I'm very weary!
Any advice would be much appreciated.

[WinkyWinkola]

Bump. Anyone?

[Olihan]

Not been in your situation with bf a toddler but have got 3 dcs so have a bit of experience in new siblings! I'd agree that it would probably make him feel more displaced if you stop the bf now. It's too close for him to have disassociated the breasts/feeding/comfort in his mind and it may not make him very predisposed to like his new brother/sister!

I think, if I was in your situation, I would reduce the bf to just naps/bedtime like you had before the move and perhaps try to introduce something else to comfort him at other times.

Sorry I'm not much help, just didn't want to your post to be unanswered. Hopefully someone else who's more experienced than me will be along to help soon.

[millysimmons]

I'd agree that stopping now could upset DS more. Am not in same situation but am feeding DS & pregnant & looking at tandem feeding.Could it be that your colestrum is now coming through & its a different taste for your DS? I have heard that milk changes flavour during pregnancy so maybe your DS isnt sure about new taste? I read somewhere that feelings or irratability when feeding are not unnormal- think it may have been in Adventures of Tandem Feeding, but not 100% sure. It also sounds like your DS is wanting some security?
Have you tried a BF counsellor? They maybe able to throw some light onto it? Can you take the time when you are BF DS to relax a little?
Sorry couldnt be more help/

[MrsApron]

riiight. have you tried lots of floor time with him doing whatever? I found my dd1 would ask because she actually wanted my attention and she knew with a bf she would get it.

Sometimes it is irritating feeding a toddler can myou try and relax into it and look at it as a sit down and relax for you rather than thinking "ooooh god please get off" and rushing them. I found that rushing my dd1 made her feed even more.

he is probably also aware that big changes are afoot and is trying to connect with you more.

Feeding two is challenging and you wll have the odd meltdown (you and ds lol!)

I found my supply was fab and didn't worry about who got what really and dd2 plumped up nicely and dd1 initially fed loads and then tailed off again quite nicely. My milk came in quickly (day2)and dd2 is a really nice happy settled baby.

Things I discovered. You can actually doze while feeding two at once. Refusing older one leads to everyone miserable while just going with the flow means everyone happy.

Do you have "adventures in tandem nursing?" It is really helpful. I could send you it for postage if you want.

I have some lovely memories of feeding both with my dd1 gently patting her sister, also a couple of me feeling touched out and thinking get off!

after all that waffle I would say do what you think works best for everyone. You are probably at your lowest supply wise right now and your ds will be trying to up it.

It gets better honest!